Every night I would hold a loaded 9mm to head, I never had the fucking balls to pull the trigger. I kept going to work, see people, paying bills …. I got dropped from insurance and ran out of LAMICTAL,, oh well. I started to get a new life in order, a tiny bit of exercise via biking around SF. I feel ok, not great, but ok, which is awesome since I’ve wanted to off myself for 20 years and my girl friend did so with me present. life is full of crazy shit, things can get better. stay busy.
Tag:
Lamictal
The drugs that I have been on for the past year are Effexor, Wellbutrin and Lamictal. The doctor told me they were antidepressants however I was always depressed. The only problem was that I never felt fully cured or happy. During the day or when I was around anyone I would always put on a happy face and joke with everyone so no one could see my pain, depression and loneliness. Everyone thought I was a happy-go-lucky guy. At times I almost convinced myself. What really made me realize that the Effexor and Wellbutrin were working to some extent was if I forgot to take […]
Just posting this if anyone decides to care: If there are any caring people left in this world.
For two years i’ve been taking Zoloft for my OCD and depression. January I was put on Lamictal for bipolar disorder. I hate it I just end up throwing up the medicine and the food in my stomach. Some therapists say this is a good thing but for a while my emotions have been fading. All I am able to do is be sad, I used to have very bad anger problems. Lately I cant even stick up for myself I finally decided to drop the medicine. I want my emotions back. With my anger […]