my last post holds alot of personal meaning…..maybe for all of us in one way r another…….i hope
Been thinking about suicide for a while because it seems like everything I do in like bites me in the Ass,I cant do anything right Ican’t make anyanyone happy including myself feel my last hope is death….ill misss my family but I think they will be better off
The art of losing isn’t hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother’s watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster.
—Even […]
That’s basically all I am. I am a joke of Fate, a fly trapped in the web she never stops weaving, a plaything that she uses to occasionally humor herself. And it really sucks.
It’s ironic, actually, because I always tell others to be who they are, an individual, and never give up hope. But I guess I let that last chance out of Pandora’s jar a long time ago, because I don’t think I’ll ever amount to anything.
It has been over 8 months since my last suicide attempt. I was finally some what a happy person, but now I just don’t think I can do it anymore. I know I’m a teenager and I’m obviously going to get upset but my suicidal thoughts have never been this bad. The pain that I feel inside is starting to become unbearable where I have started cutting myself with razors again. I thought if I started cutting again the pain would go away a little bit but shocker it didn’t. I bet we’ve all been here, thinking about life and how different it would be if we were gone, wondering if […]
Hey, I dunno how things are for you but if you never see this then congrats! :p Hopefully because things ended up being a lot better than you would have imagined. I was honestly stunned the last day we messaged each other. I really wish that I could have helped you a lot more. To be able to do what you did for me. But then again I guess someone else was doing it. If you ever messaged me on kik, I probably never got it. I wipe my phone often. Sorry for not being there for you if you needed me. We lost contact […]
Here, here, I am the child, only here
How can, arcane, in a way, life beautiful
This is like the last song, so sad, in the end
The end, that ended so long ago
A pain of the eternal, what I want
Why me, the way, there is no way
Breathe
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/suicide-is-bad-for-your-health.mp3
This was inspired by iTried it.
I’m a super novice.
like I sttarted last week.
You can’t even sing the words to it.
but this is what i heard when I read your poem.
I wish I was a little bit better.
I think it’s time.
Tomorrow should work. I have my old bottle of Maker’s Mark. Also have some oxycodones the wife didn’t take from her recent surgery. One last buzz on whiskey and pain killers. I’ll pass on the smokes, though. Don’t want to rouse suspicion from the neighbors. Rope is knotted and marked. I’ll just call into work, wait for the wife and daughter to leave, then go back home.
Tomorrow, I can finally give up.
Thanks for listening, everyone.
Dear Reader,
Thank you for taking a moment to read my last thoughts. It is appreciated even in death.
What did I do? I took a huge amount of pills.
Why did I do it? I couldnt stand the physical and emotional pain anymore. The stress of day to day life was too much for this fragile soul.
That being said, I will be in a better place. I know my family will miss me, but they will get over it in time. I’ve tried the “just wait, things will get better” game. It seems only those cut out for life get over these things. I’m just not meant […]
Today, was really down, more then usual, so I had taken a pain pill. And I was thinking during the last period of the day that I was going to home and overdose on pain pills. My friend had asked me why I was so quiet, so I told her, and she told me a lot of people would miss me. I told her I didn’t believe her, she told me to go ask my Mentor, Ms. M if she would miss me. So I did. She told me she would be sad and mad. And that she would miss me. She gave me a […]
that’s basically why I’m here.
I’ve never really had many friends, even at school there was three girls in my primary class. We all got along okay i suppose but we didn’t have any long lasting friendships. When I came to secondary I made a few friends here and there mostly following my cousin about and tricked myself into ‘thinking’ i was one of her group’s members. Now i have one friend. This isn’t a post about how since i have one friend that i think i ahould commit suicide.. i’m just saying that one girl is the closest friend i have, we talk everyday yet […]
So haven’t posted in a while and I guess it’s because things were okay. But since I can’t access my doctor right now, I ran out of my anti depressants and after two or three weeks of not taking my daily “happy” pill, I’ve sunk right back to where I was before. Have you ever felt like you’re body us literally screaming that it’s your time to die? That’s what it feels like now, but of course, a part if me flashes images of my brothers, my Lil sister, the friends I still do care about, and it says that if I die, I may […]
Hello everyone, I guess I will start this off by introducing myself. My name is Adam. I guess I should start at the beginning. Growing up, I was a pretty lonely kid. I was the typical black sheep and outcast. I remember one time when I first started school. Every kid in the class had to choose a partner to play with, and of course I was the only one left without one. Anyway, it didn’t really bother me then. When I turned 8, my mother and father split up. My mother had custody. She was more interested in girlfriends than men. Long story short, […]
This is my first post to this site and I’m a little apprehensive. My soon to be fiancé and I broke up yesterday. I’ve been crying ever since. She and I met online. She was going to be the last person I talked to before I ended my lifei . SHe and her boyfriend had broken up and I wanted to make sure she was okay and make one last person happy before I ended my life. We started dating and I was planning on proposing. It all came to a stop yesterday. I’ve got bad PTSD as I am a volunteer law enforcement officer. […]
So many times I’ve been told “it gets better”. In my case, it eventually will, but it could take 5 years or longer, and I can’t make it for that long. For those 5+ years, I’ll be stuck with my own body making my life hell. I can’t have relationships, I can’t do a lot of the things I want to do, getting dressed or hearing the sound of my own voice will be torture, just like it has been for so many years already.
I already tried to end it before, only a few months ago. I collected painkillers, but I quickly realised that I […]
So in my last post, I wrote about Alex… I need to get the Hell over him but… I don’t want to. I imagine us together all the time… It’s driving me insane! I only knew him for six days, and we’ve been out of touch for a month! I miss him, though… It’s my fault we can’t talk… What if he hates me now? What if he forgot about me an met someone else? We met in a hospital, and now he’s gone to a 45 day program… What if the girl he meets actually takes risks for him? I tried to, I really […]
I went to a psychiatric testing place last week, and I’ve got to go back again Monday. I’ve noticed that I express far fewer symptoms of depression than I had years ago. For instance, I don’t actively want to commit suicide, but I still wish to stop existing. I sleep whenever I can, because there is nothing to do at all that means anything. I don’t want a job because there is no point, and I’m currently mentally incapable of having one, as I break down about a couple of weeks in, realising how pointless and worthless I am and that my job suggests the […]
Red rush from the entry
The shining blade hovers like a sentry
The tremor travels though my hand
Until I can no longer stand
Sensation shakes my body
And shakes the numbness encased in me
Escape at last
From the future and past
Fading at last
The blackout approaching fast
But numbness persists
So I must assist…
Drive it home down to bone
Truly alone
My heart a darkening stone
As its beat begins to lose tone
Should I think to give it all,
In a world where not much
Ever seems to last long?