As it gets closer to time I’m wondering what it will be like. Will there be pain? Will I feel life leaving my body? Will I be asleep? Will I be afraid? Will I fail? If I fail what’s going to happen? Will I be hospitalized? Psych hold? What method will I try next if the pills fail me? My brain is busy processing all these questions. Has anyone attempted before that is willing to share your experience?
Tag:
leaving
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qsgBF7ZIsk&list=PL_lfsNREdSwx5eGkEOsFse8sWdjwSUi-K&index=44
I’m the one who steps from the shadows, all trenchcoat and cigarette and arrogance, ready to deal with the madness. Oh, I’ve got it all sewn up. I can save you. If it takes the last drop of your blood, I’ll drive your demons away. I’ll kick them in the bollocks and spit on them when they’re down and then I’ll be gone back into darkness, leaving only a nod and a wink and a wisecrack. I walk my path alone… who would walk with me.
Consciousness, the cruel joke played on us all by the universe. When I catch my reflection all I see is a talking ape that knows of its mortality and the meaningless of being. Death is the punch line and often I feel the joke is dragging on and leaving me wishing to just get there already.
Hello.
I’m not quite sure where to start off, but I feel so useless; as if my existence had no meaning at all.
You see, I started to cut when I was around 15 years old, and the people I loved just kept using me. I felt so ugly, and worthless, and continued cutting. Thing is, I stopped cutting for a while, but I had to do so again, since I had depression again; this time with suicidal thoughts.
I was about to kill myself, when this wonderful guy appears (he has loved me for around 1 year and a half) and suddenly makes everything better. And you […]
How did it feel to come so close? To walk the line between life and death.
Were you relieved?
Was there a “light” rushing towards you?
How long were you drifting for, and what did the drifting feel like?
Is the experience of leaving worth the pain – was there pain, torment?
What was on your mind?
I’ve heard more than anything that one feels an crushing sense of regret upon passing the point of no return.
Finally, what was it like to wake up afterward? Was there frustration? Self-pity? Rejection? Do you feel differently now than you did before?
What has life become for you?
So close to cut myself again
But I still can’t do anything
There is just so much pain
I still want to do something
I’m scared of every day
my brain can’t stop thinking
I just want to stay
But I’m leaving
I need help
I’m too young to die
I really need help
And all I can do is cry
I feel like I would hurt more people by leaving but I’m hurting myself by staying
My Mom’s been dead for almost 5 years this August (heart attack at 53), my Dad’s dead too (Cancer at 56). I’m 34, my birthday is 10 days after Mother’s day. I don’t have anyone from my family left that i care about, but I’m worried about leaving my partner behind, we’ve been together 11 years and i don’t know if he could care for himself. I’ve been thinking about slowly splitting up with him so i could kill myself a while after without worrying about his well being.
Just wish i could get him away, and some where he’ll be ok with out me, […]
Hello, Lonely.
I see you there.
Waiting,
thinking,
dreaming of better things.
Hello, Beautiful.
I see you there.
Leaving marks
on your lovely skin.
Waiting
for someone
to see your pain.
I don’t know what to say, what to do, or who I should tell? Should I make a video? A post online? A note? Or should I simply disappear, leaving no explanation. If they cared enough they’d already know what the cause was. By now, I’m sure from the context of the title and the website I’m at you can conclude I’m talking about the big day.. the day I die. Or maybe I don’t die? Maybe I’m reborn. My god, if that’s the case I just want to live a happier life next time. Oh, and my deadline is in August. I don’t know exactly when […]
Goodbye friends and people I may not know but I will be here if you need to speak just email me at melissawitch@hotmail.co.uk I will try my hardest to help you all out no matter what just give me that email and I will be here for you even if you want to rant at me I will listen to you and be here and any problems just tell me I know how depression is and loosing someone dearly to you but I must leave this site sorry to say I love this site and all the people on here the makers and the people […]
Breathing feels as though I’m being tormented.Waking up in the morning strains my heart that little bit more.Acting as though I’m happy infests the majority of my mind.I seek peace through knowing that leaving this world is the inevitable.I’m told to heal myself, but how is that possible when those who tell me are the problem. They’ve ruined me. I let them ruin me. All that remains are the ruins of a girl, interrupted. Breathing feels as though I’m being tormented. Waking up in the morning strains my heart that little bit more. Acting as though I’m happy infests the majority of my […]
Suicide is not the coward’s way out. You’re leaving what you know to go somewhere you don’t. The ones who wait and wait and wait for it to get better and it never does, those are the cowards. I am not a coward. And I’m ready to end my life and kill the pain.
I’m leaving not for a few days im leaving forever i can’t handle this obviously i was a mistake if i can’t feel happiness by the time you have read this im dead no takebacks i know but life would be so much easier without me bye world if your my friend and your reading this please don’t get upset don’t waste your tears over someone like me personally i don’t want to die but it’s the only way for me to remain happy it’s like my life is frozen in this one dark spot that i can’t get out of im only 11 […]
So I have finnaly manage the perfect plan. Quit my job, leaving my house, my animals have been placed with family members with the pretence of going travelling around the world. But its actually the perfect plan to finally have the opportunity to be in the position to end it without having to feel guilty about leaving my family to deal with all of my crap. House, bills, animals… So now will travel and see the most amazing things i. The world then i can go without felling guilty.
Title
The blade comes down,
Tears staining your face.
The voices and taunts,
Leaving a bloody trace.
They think they’re better,
And tell you you aren’t.
Stings like hell,
You’re ready to give in altogether.
Unwanted and alone
You curl in a ball.
You wish to sleep,
Once and for all.
You think no one cares,
You put your life on the line.
You’re ready to commit,
And prepare for your time.
I reach out,
Wrapping my arms around you tightly.
I whisper in your ear,
And I tell you matter without a  doubt.
I care for you,
And don’t want you to hurt.
I’ll always try to be there,
And go through your hell with you.
I speak the truth,
I will never lie.
I will always think you’re beautiful,
No matter […]
To go, what a pleasent idea. I have no sorrow, no pain, no blame…I think of nothing and no one…I don’t have goodbyes to make. I have no negative thoughts, fears…I just think of leaving this place simply because I’m just about done.
As soon as all my letters are written,
As soon as I say goodbye to the people I care about,
And as soon as I help this one person,
I’m leaving…
I know how, when, and where.
I already have the reasons why.
I’m thinking of leaving… This world has so much pain and I don’t want anyone else to feel my pain. How do I get everyone to hate me so that I can leave without the ones who love me feeling pain too?
IMO, suicidal people are stuck between Life & Death as the result of a conflict: Intellect vs Emotions
on a purely rational level, we realize human life is meaningless, especially from a cosmic perspective
whether humans are or not, the Universal Mind will continue to create .. when man has disappeared, I really doubt It’ll pause to think: “wow I really miss mankind :'( Let me recreate man to fill this void I’m feeling”
unfortunately, our emotions get in the way .. thanks to social conditioning
social conditioning says: every life has a purpose ; it will get better ; you wouldn’t appreciate life if it only had ups […]