Well I don’t want to make a big deal about this, I just wanted to let it out. but it just hurts me when people use me. I know I let it happen to myself but the people that I thought I loved are the ones using me. You’d think you were finally happy and you finally had someone you could lean on.. But nope. In just five seconds they turn on you and you’re left alone.. I wish I had someone who I know would never drop me.
Tag:
left alone
Everyone falls asleep at night around me and I’m left alone in the dark with my thoughts and the sound of the traffic outside. Sometimes I wonder what the lives of the people in the cars outside are like. Not sleeping gives you so much time to think.
My last post about executing the plan, was a failure. I know I haven’t got enough courage to do it on that day, simply because I thought I had something to live for, or someone to live. I still do, but the urge is just more each day and I couldn’t find a way to resist it instead to just do it once and for all. My current situation is pretty bad, I’ve lost my job, my parents hate me for not earning, and I’m just rotting at home, but they have no idea how broken I am for letting them down. My parents are […]
I’ve just seen this site and registered as I know it’s somewhere no one who knows me would look.
I have battled with depression for a really long time now. I did have a couple of years of respite, but over the last 5 years, it’s becoming more difficult to manage.
Pretty much everyone I know knows I suffer from depression but just recently and up to this day I have kept to what degree from them. The last year or so has been especially difficult as I lost my father and my mother has become hostile towards me. She has always been protective and has frowned […]
I can’t make friends. I’ve tried my whole life to blend in, to be like everyone else. But I just can’t. I thought I finally could make it. But it wasn’t a real friendship. People just want me to be available when they need me. But no one listens to me when I need company. I’m spending my days crying my heart out. Why does it happen to me? Why is everyone I’ve ever cared for happy and enjoying their lives and achieving their goals. Whereas I can’t do it. I’m not meant to do it.
I was so desperate and so in pain that […]
I’ve decided that night time often is the worst time of day for me. How cliché – the worst comes with the darkness. I don’t like the dark. I’m sat in it now, with the dim light of my laptop illuminating my typing fingers and not much else. I try to familiarise myself with it, to know that I’m safe in my room when it’s dark just as much as when there is light.
I don’t know why this fear came back. Honestly, I do not understand, I got over my fear of the dark when I was a kid… but this past year or so, […]
i waited,
and waited.
for a day i would be picked.
for a day i could play with my friends.
but the day never came.
and when they all left.
i was left alone,
with only my shadow to fight.
A sharpener,
will hurt
a little lesser
than
this loneliness.
-brokenprincessteen
I just want to say something before I leave and finish what I have started. It was nice meeting all of you from CC, TC and SP I may not talk much but just having a place to come and read and share thoughts has helped me for a while. I have been planning this for weeks and I picked tonight for no reason but it is the best night i could have picked. I am done trying I am done taking to people and I am sick of every doctor you talk to wanting too put you on medication. I know….. I self medicate […]
Can this pen bring you to me? Pushed away from the freeze…and the long hanging feelings that call out for freedom.
Will this time stand aside, this time took from me just to give it all back again?
Is it right to cry? Is it right to cry for me? Said, this fight might be ours but it all falls to a place that we’ve failed to see.
And so, she lifts me
And so, she lifts me
That’s right, she lifts me now..if you can’t see for yourself..see?
I couldn’t hold back those dreams..cause you were there begging me so nice. And I still […]
I just don’t even care anymore. The passion to pursue my old dreams are gone. I’m just defeated by this feeling of emptiness. Like I have no self worth or purpose to serve. By no means, do I have it the worst. I have a loving, supporting, fully functional family.I have nice tangible things and have never been sexually abused. None of this matters, though, and each day I wish that I wouldn’t have all of these things and that my fifteen years on this earth would end. I guess I’m frustrated at myself,I wish that there was more to this life of mine. There’s […]
Fuck it all.
I tried to make my friends understand what I go through,and the harsh reality hit me:I had no true friends.They were only using me while I was still usable and now that I am going through a hard time,all of them,absolutely all of them,dumped me.
I miss the days when I was together with my ex-girlfriend.We were both struggling with extreme suicidal thoughts and depression,among many other mental illnesses,and we were supporting each-other through this shit.I guess now that she got better she doesn’t give a fuck about me anymore.That’s good…It’s good…It’s all fucking good…Wish you fucking luck with that German guy you are […]
Hi all, I’ll start with a quick intro of myself/my situtation. I’m 19, two para-suicides. I am now certain that I want to die. My last attempt was an overdose on anti-depressants and paracetamol which failed, before that, a cutting of the wrist. Now that I am sure, however, I’d like to go peacefully. I’ve refrained from giving anyone any hints and just really want to be left alone at this point, very tired. I don’t feel like I have the necessary skills required to function in this world and furthermore I have very little desire to do so. I live alone so suicide over […]
Tonight I plan on driving with no destination in sight. I have no idea where I will be going or what direction I will be driving. I can no longer live in this house. The pressure is to great. I hope that I will be reunited with the ones that love me and the ones that I love.
Some days i no longer want to try I no longer want to stress, some days I no longer want to move. I also know that I don’t want to leave this world early but the days that I don’t are few and far between. The thought of […]
Come on in!
Have a seat, i hope you like the people you’re about to meet.
First we have this girl, you see is kinda a geek.
This girl likes to read, she’s not out-going but she isn’t meek.
Then we have another girl, tall and proud she stands.
Guess again, she’s scared that people find the secret she hides.
She prays no one knows.
We now have a broken one, some of you may know-
This girl’s soul is so blacken and cold.
She doesn’t care that you’re even there.
She doesn’t want someone to hold, she just wants it all to end.
Scaredy cat girl, afraid […]
Hi guys, I haven’t written anything on here for a long time, mainly because there was some idiot ruining it but hopefully he’s gone now.
Does anybody else on here have the fear of being happy?  Like when something good happens, all I can think is “Where is this gonna go wrong?  Something bad is going to happen” all the time!  Nothing good can just happen without something going wrong.  Recently I’ve had a lot to be happy about.  Things like passing my college course, getting a new dog, my football is going extremely well and it looks like I have a girl in my life for […]
Why did you rape me? Why did you kill me? Why did I wake up again? Why did my heart start beating again? Why did you hurt me? When I was only 2 or 3 years old? I feel so sorry. I feel like it’s my fault. I feel like I should have been a better child and given you more. I am confused. I am scared. I suffered 18 years of a difficult time at home. And the problem was: My parents didn’t even know. They didn’t even realise what was going on. They didn’t even realise they were wrong. They thought they were good and […]
Little girls, little boys, crying in the corner why can’t you see?
the words written on your skin.
These the words that make you bleed.
they make it so no one wins or succeeds.
All alone in the world, that’s how you see.
that’s how it might be.
So sacred, you want to be left alone.
but it’s so addicting, the things we can create.
The words written, the words hidden.
under jeans and sweaters too big.
this is the life we live.
The cuts, the red lines so addicting
the days so stressful, and cruel
Parents screams, telling you what’s wrong with you.
our only escape, […]
She says I never had it
This dark cloud above my head
Because the pills didn’t make it better
It’s all inside my head
Of course it’s in my head I say
Depression isn’t just chemical imbalance
It’s a mentality
A way of living
A way that’s mine forever
Just get over it
You’ve got nothing to be depressed about
Just think happy thoughts
And tell us if you’re going to hurt yourself
Your words hurt more than any blade
No razor on earth can amount to the pain
Your words have caused me
It’s not a simple scratch
There’s no pretending it’s not there
I really need to rant. I’m 4 days away from the anniversary of the murder I witnessed and I am fucked up. Â The last thing I need is nosy-asses in my life.
My nosy-ass neighbors will not stop getting into my business. I am well deep into planning my own demise, but I’ve determined that I certainly can’t hang myself from a tree because these fuckers would call the cops. I swear, they know more about my life than I do. They’ve often remarked that they noticed my bedroom light was on. Really? Why the fuck is that their business??
I can’t go into my fucking yard […]
just want to be left alone. Just want people to stop coming up to me, stop giving me attitude. I just want to go to bed.