Tonight I plan on driving with no destination in sight. I have no idea where I will be going or what direction I will be driving. I can no longer live in this house. The pressure is to great. I hope that I will be reunited with the ones that love me and the ones that I love.
Some days i no longer want to try I no longer want to stress, some days I no longer want to move. I also know that I don’t want to leave this world early but the days that I don’t are few and far between. The thought of leaving is sometimes welcoming and sometimes it scares me.
I no longer want to leave my room, the thought worries me everyday. I hardly sleep. My mind wonders and thinks 24/7. When I close my eyes I am reminded about my past and future.
I cannot say I want to die but I also cannot say I want to live. I want to go to a place where I can be left alone to think. To not have to worry about the outside struggles. Â The thought of waking up in my bed again scares me. The thoughts of wanting to hurt my self grows. I thought that I out grew it. I thought i could cope. But everyday gets harder to put the smile on. It gets harder to wake up and it gets harder to just move on.
I love my family and most of all my brother. I owe him more than my life. I just want the thoughts to stop I just want to be left alone.
My name is Addison and I am 22
Addison A.
1 comment
Try not to worry, Addison. You aren’t alone in this. Sometimes life gets too hard to put up with and you think that ending it all would make it easier, and maybe it will for you, but not for everyone else who loves you. Whenever you think about committing suicide or leaving everything, no matter in what way, think about your family, your brother. If you feel alone, go to them and if they aren’t there, come to us. There are people on this site that will talk to you about anything, including me. If you ever feel like you’ve had enough and you’re done with life, email me. My email is breannakienzle@gmail.com. I have attempted suicide before, I know what it feels like to have no one. Please talk to me if you ever need to. I’ll always be here.