Life is messed up that has been pretty obvious to me, yet I still find myself hurt about it. I don’t know why I hope why I even care? I’m slowly shutting down, I care less and less about any and everything.This year has been the worst of my life thus far, I’ve lost so much and there is this aching pain inside. I lost family and friends and a significant other all in a matter of months back to back. There is literally nothing left in me not a damn thing I wouldn’t care if my own family died if what little friends I […]
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Ive always felt alone since I was a little kid. recently i lost my job, car got repoed, bills piling up, girlfriend left me, no one talks to me. ive lost 40 lbs over 5 months from not eating. I have a 12 year old son who idolizes me and hes starting to act like me, sad.
I was “happy” last year the world looked good.
Hi,
I used the bitcoin option on the peaceful pill handbook website to order a 24-month subscription to the book. It was my first bitcoin payment ever. I see that the bitcoins have left my wallet, and the site notified me that the payment was successful. However I got no instructions on what to do next in order to read the book. All I was given was some kind of code which I have no idea how to use. I’ve emailed the site’s contact address, but didn’t receive a reply so far. Could you please help me? I’m not sure if I didn’t get scammed or […]
Loved someone with every ounce of your existence? And despite how you feel, have that person and people around you tell you that it isn’t really love. I admit it I am controlling, not because I had no control over my childhood or anything like that. But because I want to control the pain that I will feel. I didn’t and still don’t want to feel any type of love for anyone because I don’t want to hurt. I never trusted anyone I built the biggest of walls and yet one person got through to me. It was magic it was love it was the […]
Smile. Walking to the next stage, to the alas.
The lone stranger yet to be deciphered.
What shall be these freed chain. Today. Where it’s only ever been me.
Now. Held, there is only one sword. Me … and God.
Today, the sun never arrived. Because today, there is only me.
And the chain of the world around my neck.
Now, only playing to the sound of music.
The sun was yet to be arrived. Left overs, abyssal stick to my shirt.
I shall remain, since my beginning. Walking to my tomb.
But today, is today. Vowed to celestial.
The misconception and fallacy mirror projected upon […]
I am seriously considering suicide if i dont graduate with my class this year because it will completely screw up what’s left in my life. I have already written letters and sealed them for the people i want to leave a message for. They are currently in my book bag where im hoping they will find them when/if it happens. So i guess this isn’t exactly my suicide note but it’s close i guess.
I’ve been trying to get myself out of the suicide trend for a few years. I’m a diagnosed bi-polar, I’ve lived most of my life in poverty, in “a rich country” of Canada. I’ve done many therapies and tried many drugs, but it’s all quackery. what’s Quackery you say? it’s treating the symptoms not the causes. the causes are attachments to others, lack of stable/gainful income, stable food/roof, and women, god women. just god awful bitches every where I look.
I had an idea in my head that maybe if I could suffer my entire life and be in such darkness the opposite could be true. […]
I lay awake at night until the fatigue hits. My doctor has taken me off my sleeping medication. I beg my mom to let me take the pills that are left and she refuses. I think about awful thoughts when I lay awake. I think it will be better in the morning, but I know that’s false hope
I did not end it last night I was moments away for it but thats down to two people my mother and a comment left on a post here. Yes i still got no hope I still want to die but I was in a very dark place yesterday. And if it was not for that post and my mother coming into my room and hugging me saying “I know your in pain but I love you and you can get through this” it almost broke my heart I can’t remember the last time she did that. so I’m going to try again for her. […]
I think Uptown and AngeredSoul have left this world for the next. Can we take a moment to pay our respects and celebrate the short lives that thay had here. I know they made an impact on me and I will miss them and keep them in my heart.
My Mom’s been dead for almost 5 years this August (heart attack at 53), my Dad’s dead too (Cancer at 56). I’m 34, my birthday is 10 days after Mother’s day. I don’t have anyone from my family left that i care about, but I’m worried about leaving my partner behind, we’ve been together 11 years and i don’t know if he could care for himself. I’ve been thinking about slowly splitting up with him so i could kill myself a while after without worrying about his well being.
Just wish i could get him away, and some where he’ll be ok with out me, […]
I think today should be today. I’ve got nothing left.
a memory so long ago
possibly the earliest sign of trouble
i was in junior baseball leagueÂ
played left field
a large pickup drove into the park
it swerved left and right
everyone ran with their kid/friend – i didn’t
i stared blankly almost longinglyÂ
it could run me over – Â so what
if i was wanted then  somebody would save me
I would really appreciate it if you took the time to read this and hopefully leave a comment suggesting what i should do.
So, me and this guy we were in a relationship for about 2 months, the shortest relationship ive had in all honesty. The relationship was amazing and i fell for him so hard so quickly, and then he left without an explanation. However, he never actually left, we still contact each other every day and we speak like we used to. Even though we’re not in a relationship it feels like we are. He told me that the reason […]
Oh its been so long
So very very long
Since the last time
I talked to you
About everything thats going on
I know I’ve been vague
I’ve been mysterious
But I have to keep things
Feelings thoughts etc
From you
So you don’t worry about me
But maybe it’s time
Time to tell you how I am.
How am I?
Physically?
Sore.
I feel broken.
I’ve got a few scars.
Yeah from that.
I don’t know how to cope.
I thought I could manage
I guess not.
How am I?
Mentally?
Terrible.
Awful.
Horrible.
Every day criticism.
Yelling.
Slapping.
One of my lights went […]
I don’t even know what to to anymore. I feel so alone and I have no one to talk to, so I guess that’s why I’m here. I’m 16 and I’ve been struggling with depression since my stepfather (he was like my dad) walked out on me when I was 11. My mom left him and I saw him for a little while after that, but eventually he told me he didn’t want to see me anymore because he had a girlfriend with a kid and wanted to start over. my biological dad isn’t around, and has never made any attempt to contact me. I […]
Home for a 3-day weekend. Last time it was a week and I was left entertaining and flirting with the concept of death. Anything, really, to keep from having to take part in the shameful charade any longer. You come home. We sit in front of the TV, we ignore and tune each other out as we stare listlessly at the screen for hours on end.
Is that all that life has become for you? Don’t you want to talk about anything of substance, anything at all? Why can’t you just be civil for once? Why is every word out of your mouth an insult, a […]
Of any of it? We go to school for the first 1/4 of our lives, study and spend thousands of dollars out our asses, only to (generally) end up in some job that doesn’t even relate to our degree – if we even end up getting them!
We work for the majority of what’s left of our lives, assuming we live to the expected age of 80 or so, and then we spend the remainder of our days whiling away our time waiting to die anyway…
why not skip out all the bullshit and go ahead with it? We already know how the ending turns out anyway. […]
I’ve been cursed all my life. I feel like I’m the worst person alive on earth! I suck at everything. I used to be an intelligent student who attains A’s and B’s at school. But now, I’ve been getting D’s and F’s because of my personal problems. I also used to design houses, sing, dance, wirte fictional stories, play chess, swim and go outside but now, I feel like I’m not capable of those things anymore. Depression has been getting over me. I feel like I’m the dumbest person. I’ve never been involved in any of the clubs and school activities because of the feeling I […]
I’ve tried it as a method of suicide. I couldn’t get past a liter without feeling like I was drowning myself in a tasteless liquid. I’m tired of trying all of these methods and getting no where! Its not that I’m half assing my attempt’s because plenty of people die doing a lot less, I’m simply unlucky. I need to find a way to get luck on my side soon, before I’m torn from the only thing that I have left.. my apartment.