I have a long list of psychological problems and conditions. I once had passion for life and love, but no more. My level of intelligence, education, similar issues, and past compel me to make comparisons with that popular actor on The Big Bang Theory. The asexuality aspect of it isn’t a result of E.D. or some physical dis-function. I no longer desire any kind of relationship. I always knew I would die alone. Now I can’t imagine it any other way. As is par for the course, I had my share of suicidal thoughts, cutting, and even a real attempts. Bad news for the younger readers; […]
oh Yay! There’s another baby on its way today.
As she swims around in her mothers womb, if only
she knew that it was too soon. For her mommy was
taking too much med. Now everyone had to stare blank ahead.
As you lie there in your sweet baby bed going through overdose
they waited for the doctor to diagnose when we could take you home. Two
weeks pass and you’re no longer left alone.
As you’re carried into the doors of life,
“Welcome to hell” the sign on the door should have said.
Reaching your destination will all be in your head. “Last call
for the train heading nowhere fast.” The memories you create […]
I guess it is time to make the right thing. To get out of this hopeless life. I might be here or not soon.
The next step. I take the next step. Then have no energy. Where is the vessel of life? How do I refill it? The rent wall leaks to the floor all I pour in. The holidays are here. Time to live for others. No time to die. But I am so tired. So very tired.
and in this life never did I see so much hurt and pain. As a child I was attracted to the light to the happiness but as I grew older and realized that you can’t plan life that little dream of mine grew distant and blurry I knew that I’d have to runaway to find this dream of mine. My dream house grew colder day by day and suddenly i was no longer attracted to the light. Happiness made me uncomfortable I knew how quickly it could all end. I felt company with the darkness being happy felt lonely. We are told so many stories […]
In my life people expects me to be perfect, but they don’t know what i’m going through. I’m always depressed and i self-harm. I was bullied and i feel like no one cares about me. I tried to stop cutting myself because my boyfriend, but i always have the urge to cut. i need help
I can’t cope with the humiliation, degradation & isolation one more day.
I can’t handle the pain, physical & emotional, anymore.
I’ve tried to continue.
But this life is too humiliating to bear.
I don’t feel like I’m human. I don’t subscribe to whatever it is you feel anymore. It all feels like it’s so far away from myself.
So what am I? I don’t even know. For 10 years I feel like I’ve just been imitating the personalities of other people, and that’s what I was; a shell around a void, just to try fit in, to feel like I belong.
Now all that has failed and crumbled away, just like the people. I feel only indifference or anger towards those I see or think about. Their words circle in my mind like torture constantly.
I think about what I would […]
This is my first time posting here and I’m not really sure whether I’m on the right track regarding what this site is about…
For the past 3 years I have had reoccurring suicidal thoughts and a couple of failed attempts. The idea of being free from this life is so inviting! In a way, I’m ashamed and I know that I don’t want to hurt my family. I’m trying to remove these thoughts from my head but the battle is tough. The only thing stopping me is knowing that I don’t want my younger siblings to ever suffer as I am.
My self esteem is pitiful. […]
Employers can’t even f**king be honest about why they’re not hiring me. I’m definitely NOT “overqualified” to babysit someone’s child for two hours for just one day.
Well after being upped from 20 to 40mg fluoxetine daily after a bad episode of depression I fell that life is more pointless than ever. I have no passions, find no enjoyment in anything at all and have no enthusiasm for anything, as well as having increasing bad social anxiety, making it unfortunately difficult for me to do my work for university. Overall I am morbidly unhappy; everything is just so dull and boring. I constantly ask myself is life worth the effort and is there any point to going on because I am sure that I will end my own life someday. I fantasise […]
This can obviously be taken a number of ways, but remember – nobody is worth your severe depression and they sure as hell aren’t worth your life. Just a thought.
L4Y
(L4Y@cogeco.ca)
I know it’s not the way to live but sometimes life gets overwhelming and I don’t know what to do with decisions.
Why I have to face myself everyday with depression and anxiety I don’t know, I just wanted to be liked and loved but sadly I never was and it doesn’t help when family members and pets had to die on me, I’m lost and alone an I’ve been contemplating suicide for a long time, I tried once before but my mum came in my room as I was fading out and stopped me before I died, I just don’t know what to do I have a life like everyone else but no one to Love at the same time and no one to love me […]
I ask a question as old as it is cliche. I no longer fear the ambiguity of death as I once did. It is not the thought of the actual act of dying that scares me, but rather my willingness to let go. There is no reason for me to share my story. It is no sadder than any others. We all live with our own burdens and sins. Some of us choose to fight the good fight, to “keep on trucking” as the saying goes. Others of us get our lives cut short, never given the option. And some of us choose to tap out early, […]
I’m a 32 years old loser and total failure in this so-called “real world / real life / reality”. Is there really no hope for me anymore?
I’m a 32 years old guy from Indonesia. Graduated about 13 years ago from U.S, and then “back for good” to my home country, supposedly working for a family business.
Many people honestly tell me (or view me) as a very talented, even multi-talented person. But unfortunately/sadly, somehow I just lack several few factors yet they are apparently probably the *MOST IMPORTANT* factors in this so-called “real world / real life / reality” .
It’s my mind / constant thinking & […]
Welcome to your life
There’s no turning back
Even while we sleep
We will find you
Acting on your best behavior
Turn your back on mother nature
Everybody wants to rule the world
It’s my own design
It’s my own remorse
Help me to decide
Help me make the most
Of freedom and of pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world
There’s a room where the light won’t find you
Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down
When they do I’ll be right behind you
Life can be full of pain.
Most people have difficulties dealing with every day life,
and it’s more serious circumstances.
Some people are luckier than others,
they deal with mundane and less serious things.
Some aren’t so lucky.
What led me here?
What led those I have cared for here,
in this down in life state?
Monsters,
they don’t care for the consequences of their actions,
only their selfish gains.
Do monsters feel pain?
Do they know the depth of damage they cause others?
Do they know the lives they destroy?
I don’t believe in karma.
There is no ‘being patient’ for karma […]
Even on my good days, I can’t help wondering why I’m staying alive. I don’t enjoy much, and I don’t see myself going anywhere in life. Why even try anymore?
I am a misanthropist! Full of hatred towards the human race. To me this life is counterfeit, full of bullshit from the little specks of atoms that we are in this unfathomably large universe. I am in no way religious, I do not believe in shit other than we’ll find the truth out when we individually die. Just a rant from my crippled ass. Be well to all on this site, every second that goes by we are closer to the end of this existence (like it or not – tick fucking tock:-)