Well after being upped from 20 to 40mg fluoxetine daily after a bad episode of depression I fell that life is more pointless than ever. I have no passions, find no enjoyment in anything at all and have no enthusiasm for anything, as well as having increasing bad social anxiety, making it unfortunately difficult for me to do my work for university. Overall I am morbidly unhappy; everything is just so dull and boring. I constantly ask myself is life worth the effort and is there any point to going on because I am sure that I will end my own life someday. I fantasise about death and suicide often and just feel that I am not cut out for this life. Do any of you relate?
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I have terrible social anxiety too. It got unbearable after graduating university and leaving the city. I don’t know if depression is a cause or side factor of it. It’s caused so many problems for me that I won’t divulge in, but I worry that if society doesn’t accept you, then what’s the point?
As for happiness, it feels like a childhood dream. I’m sorry you (and anyone else who can relate) feel so empty. I, myself, question everyday if it’s worth it.
“if society doesn’t accept you, then what’s the point?”
and
“As for happiness, it feels like a childhood dream.”
Thanks for putting it so well.
Depression is fairly common among suicidal people, unfortunately. :’)
Yes I can relate and I know a lot of others here can too, though our specific sources of pain may differ.
I gave up on hope a while ago. I know I’ll suicide, it’s inevitable and I’ve gotten used to the idea…have for a while. Good I know that I am capable of doing too.
Thanks for the comments guys. It’s not that I feel that I’m not accepted by society, it’s just that I feel like I don’t belong; nobody’s fault but mine. For me suicide is like a horrific relief; I see it as an almost inevitable end to my life. I’ve been this way for a long time and some of these feelings have been amplified by my tinnitus which I struggle with. I’ve come up with a very simple but fitting simile for my view on life: it’s a bit like emptying the bins, you don’t look forward to it, you don’t get any enjoyment or pleasure out of it, but it’s just something that has to be done. Quite sad really.