I’ve had depression for about 2 years now, and i finally thought i was actually getting better, until about 3 days ago…it all started again, the constant bullying, verbal abuse off family, I’ve lost practically all my friends…I get called ‘cutter’ or ‘suicidal freak’ at school, no one can accept me for who I am…I think about it every night. I stare at the bottles of pills, the razor blades and think should I do it? I’m not scared. I’m not scared whatsoever, its just like going into a long sleep and having an amazing dream, apart from you’ll never wake up, and tonight something […]
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Long Sleep
Every day its the same thing, like a movie over and over.
THIS WAS ORIGINALLY WRITTEN IN APRIL 2012. I was still a lurker here back then. I didn’t have the confidence to share this.  It paints a pretty accurate picture of where I was at back then. I thought someone may be interested.
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My therapist is correct. The two underlying threads of my life have been seeking approval, and escapism. When I don’t get approval, I need to escape. I can’t give myself approval as I feel it is not warranted, therefore my only option is to escape. If not getting the approval in my relationships that I feel I need, I usually escape by withdrawal. However, I have […]