So I made quite a long post earlier “tl;dr” and since then Ive been reading through some posts and Ive realised I need to ask for help. Ive studied a bit of psychology and im sure im a manic depressive with social anxiety and mild eating disorders. I need to and want to ask for help but I dont know who or where to turn. Im reluctant to go to friends and family as I dont want them to see me differently, I wear a great mask have for years, they dont suspect much I dont think and I swear to god the slightest bit […]
I climb the walls of my mind just like I’m climbing
On the jungle gym.
I am more than content with the
State of mind I am in.
’cause I am crazy just like you.
I am crazy just like you.
I don’t think I need a rubber room, but that might be nice.
I’m not a manic depressive paranoid or schizophrenic
So I don’t need your advice.
I am crazy just like you.
I am crazy just like you.
The lights are on but nobody’s home
My elevator doesn’t go to the top
I’m not playing with a full deck I’ve lost my marbles.
Family does not understand what manic depressive bi-polar is like.
I feel dead inside. My soul has been devoured by a pit of darkness pulling me in.
Every day… I see no hope… no future. Just darkness, pain, lonely… can’t fight the pain much longer.
I am a surviver of lortabs & Xanax overdose. 5 day coma… brain damage. have a shotgun now.
I’m ready….
I must have been around 8 or 9 when my mother first brought me to a psychologist. I had to draw a tree and had to talk to the lady. Obviously I must have been depressed but I didn’t know the word for it. When I was 21 I did three suicide attempts over a 2 year period. The internet did not exist then and my method of trying to die humanely (sleeping pills – Lorametazepam to be exact) were not to succeed. Sleeping pills in combination with a bag: no use either. I was only left with the humilation of waking up in a […]
Love. It’s such a simple thought, yet it’s so complicated. We spend our whole lives looking for that one person. That one person that loves you unconditionally. That one person that wants to be with you forever. That one person that understands.
I found this person 7 months ago. He’s perfect, absolutely perfect. I couldn’t ask for anyone better. He understands i’m manic depressive. He understands I sometimes need my space. He understands I’ll be suicidal. It’s a feeling of content in your heart, when you know you’ve found the one and only person you want to be with forever.
This is the first time I have ever told anyone I have been contemplating suicide. Most people would say I have a good life, which I do agree, but I can’t find the motivation to want to help myself. I’m 21 and a college student with a criminal record already and have a family that I have secluded myself from. I want to write out my whole life story but I honestly don’t even care enough to do that. I just know that have suicidal thought on a daily basis isn’t normal. I know I have severe depression problems cause my mom has been diagnosed […]
I’m new to this so I don’t really know how to explain what I’m feeling but I need to get this out. My girlfriend left me 2 weeks ago and she was the reason I did anything with my life. She is the one it’s as simple as that and I would do anything to get her back. I’m a manic depressive anyway and I’ve been on pills for the last 6 years with no results. I have been seeing shrinks for the last 5 years and ended up in hospital 3 times trying to kill myself. I cannot deal with this anymore I’m 22 […]
I’m manic depressive, maybe borderline. There’s this girl I love very deeply, but she does and says these things to me. A small fight, and it escalates, she’s inconsolable. She’s under a lot of stress I know, and she’s a good person basically. She’s combative. I apologize, but I don’t mean it. I console her, but do a bad job. I sulk, because I can’t console her, and I’m supposed to. I feel like a piece of shit. I feel that I don’t have anybody left to open up to. If I say so she gets pissed that I feel that way. Why is she […]
Well…..I never thought I would ever think of suicide. As a child I always feared my little brother would suicide because he had anxiety problems and was bullied. He barfed every single day before school when he was in grade 1, but his therapist helped him and now he’s a popular 16 year old with an on again off again suicidal girlfriend (is that irony? I don’t know). But back to me because I am so selfish, I have loving parents and family as well as supportive loving friends. I have no right to depressed like this when there are so many other people in […]