so i talked to my friends about our current “situation”. its so obvious they hate me right now. maybe its because they think i’m acting stupid or something, i don’t know. this is why i hate people. they never seem to understand whats wrong with me. they always force me to admit to my mistakes even though its their own fault too. what a friend.
Tag:
maybe
i’m thinking about cutting again. its probably the only thing that will make me feel better at the moment. i don’t know maybe i will, maybe i won’t.
I’m in two minds when someone asks me if I’m ok. Part of me want’s to say “of course not, do I look like I’m fine?” The other part of me keeps thinking  “wow, someone noticed I’m not ok, maybe I’m not so worthless.” Opinions?
Sometimes I think the world is so unfair. Like, why do people bully others and turn them down just to feel powerful? Why do people tell others to go and kill themselves and why even be mean to people? Like what the actual fuck?! SOCIETY MAKES ME SICK. My parents are horrible and you know how people say “Kids will be Kids”, its more like “Bad parenting results in Rebellious, Depressed, Suicidal children”. Its just my opinion so please don’t criticize me. But I just think that people should be nice to one another because who knows how they will take it and maybe they […]
Love…
Is it too much to ask to be loved?
Valentine’s Day passed…
I gave my closest friends flowers
So they knew that I loved them
Sincere friendly love
I was hoping maybe, just maybe, someone would get me a flower
Or a Valentine or just something that says “I love you,”
But I didn’t…
They felt guilty about not getting me anything…
I told them it was fine…
Maybe it wasn’t…
And it’s just me being the selfless person I am…
I don’t know….
I just want
Love…
I claw at the mental door of pain, blocking me from happiness
I scream out, hoping that maybe, just maybe, someone would hear me
I don’t give up, I scream and yell, I yell, “HELP I’M TRAPPED! PLEASE HELP!”
But alas no one can hear me even if someone did they wouldn’t help me nor would they care.
I sob until I drown myself with my own tears and hurt myself with my own pain
I try to pry the door open, to see just a sliver of light, just a sliver of the bright happiness I once knew
I desperately try to find something, or […]
Do you believe suicide is selfish? Do you have a right to kill yourself when there are others living off worse than you?
After all, when one kills his or herself they leave a lot of people in pain, anger and grief. Sometimes there’s even a [gruesome] mess to clean up. Is that fair?
I go back and forth between whether it’s fair or not everyday. EVERY single human being has or is experiencing some great deal of pain. in their life. But what about people who truly feel they’re better off dead than alive?
How do you feel when people try to compare your life to those […]
So tomorrow I’m going to a friend of mine’s house to have a sort of anti-valentine’s day party. Not really a party, just some mutual friends, some food, and some weed. The thing is, my mother decided to tell me she’s going to drug test me the day after. I’m at the point where I don’t really care if she catches me. I’m at a really low point, even though I’m young. I want to smoke and forget about all of my stresses. I’m not the type of person to do crazy drugs like acid or cocaine. I don’t like any of that stuff. I […]
la mort est belle
présenter dans les ténèbres
présenter dans l’abîme noir
présenter dans le néant
la mort est inconnue
essayer de rejoindre
essayer d’obtenir de l’aide
essayer de parler aux gens
la mort est un adieu
dire au revoir
rien que des mensonges
alors qu’ils réalisent
la mort n’est pas comme la vie
“la vie est courte”
que si vous le faites à court
peut-être je vais raccourcir la mine
la mort est étonnant
son évasion, oui permanent
mais est une évasion
un au revoir attristant que
death is beautiful
submit into the darkness
submit into the black abyss
submit into the nothingness
death is unknown
Hey I’m new to this website and I think I might be in the right place. So a little bit about myself… Well, I’m a cutter and I have tried suicide about 5 times already. My mom told me that if I really wanted to die, I would have succeeded already. And my dad told me that he would help me by getting the pills or talking to a doctor to put me down… So, I might make rants or post the suicide notes/letters I wrote on here. Maybe if I try again, I’ll post. Anyway, bye everyone… For now.
Hello.
Nobody really needs to see this, just read my username.
————
Why keep on going?
It’s just…… Everything is made out to mean the world to people when there are stars out there that are trillions of times larger than our planet. If anything, we’re just science’s little exception. People say that if we moved just a little closer to the sun, our planet could burst into flames. So why try anything?
this all started from reading some story, by the way.
I just don’t understand why we keep on working if everything is going to waste anyways. Maybe I’m just being a big ol’ douche, i dunno.
If we want […]
…..or perhaps just the long end of so many days not worth living. The pain always outweighss the little pleasures life has to offer, and i have reached my quota for rejection. I have a few methods at my disposal…..and i think i’ve always been a good multifunctioner, make sure this time. Notes all written, Â maybe some finishing touches to one or two……..but i’m ready and feel more peaceful than i have in ages. I just wanted to thank those who have been friendly and tried to help. See you on the flip side, lol.
……or at least be the last in a long line of those not worth living. The pain always outweighs the small pleasures life brings, and i have reached my quota for rejection. I have several methods, any of which will do…..but i beleive i will multitask and be sure this time. All my notes are  ready, maybe a few finishing touches. I am ready, not frightened and haven’t felt this peaceful in a long time. I wanted to thank those who have been kind to me here.
So…guess who’s back? Annabeth is. She left for a week or so, and I was the only person who cared enough about her to continue talking to her while she was gone, since everyone at school believed that she was gone for good. I thought so, too. But now she’s back, and that’s not necessarily a good thing. When I found out she would be returning to live nearby, I was overjoyed. I thought that maybe, just maybe, there would be a chance that she would finally talk to me in real life. That I would mean something to her. Maybe she could actually care […]
I’m scared. I’m scared of feeling stuck, of being tormented not only the past, but my own thoughts. I’m scared of moving on, of trusting people who will only abandon me when they find out that I’m not as perfect as they foolishly believed. I’m scared of the possibility of being stuck in stasis for the rest of my life, not accomplishing anything, while everything else moves forward at the speed of light. I’m scared to live with the pain caused by living.
Yet I’m afraid to die. I’m scared that maybe I could have made a difference in someone’s life, maybe even reached my full […]
i dont know.. maybe its cliche but I cant stop thinking of a way to end today
not even today only.. but maybe all the days?
I started self harming when I was in 4th grade. I would choke myself, buy one day my mom read my diary and flipped.
I STOPPED. YOU HEAR THAT? I STOPPED AND WASNT EVEN STRONG ENOUGH TO NOT GO BACK.
7Th grade rolled around and I cut. I cut because I was in a new school, and everyone hated me
8th grade came, and I cut. I cut because I just couldnt be happy with my new popular friends.
sophomore here, and I’m ready. I’m […]
I never asked to be here, nor did I ask to be a burden. You can only give so much of yourself before nothing left. I cant scream or clinch my fists anymore, you wanna talk bout it no one listens, or cares think its a joke. They say theirs light at the end of the tunnel but always stuck in reverse. Maybe finally get the balls to eat the bullet until then more waiting and wondering…
what would it look like if I committed suicide tonight. I’m not even sure how I would do it. I don’t have a gun, which is the safe bet. That doesn’t leave a lot of choices – drugs, cutting, not sure what else. and to complicate matters, I have a dog. What would she think? What would she do? I’m not expected to be anywhere until about 9 AM on Tuesday (it’s 8:34 PM on Saturday night) so she would be alone for a long time. How long would it take for people to search for me? […]
I’m so tired. To tired even for a proper cry for help. Or maybe i don’t care. I don’t know.
I have no idea what this is for.
Who can argue that anything we do is meaningful.
Is it time to go? Yes it is maybe.
And how to go? It seems it is just as hard as living.
Drugs Rule Everything Around Me.
The End. Or is it the beginning……
Ten billion stars later maybe the answer will illuminate.