It’s not really worth living in is it? when you think about it, there are at least 100 unspeakable things that happen every second, we as people are dirty, filthy things unworthy of life if we do those kind of things with it….i just started posting here but i think that this world is filthy and just not worth living in. I hate it, and i feel an almost inherent hatred for a lot of people in it, if that makes me some kind of weirdo or psycho or sociopath then so be it, but thats just what i observe from living on this shit […]
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maybe
Everyone falls off the wagon, and it hurts. So why climb back on? You know you just run the risk of getting another injury. Or, maybe someone pushed you off the wagon…why give them another chance
Wow, I haven’t been on here in forever…my life has definitely changed for the better. But, lately…I’ve been extremely down and I just seem more irritated with absolutely anyone/everything. I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and depression, but I think the bi-polar is what causes the depression part..my life is alright, but something within me is missing. I have no excitement for life really and society just keeps getting more shitty. I don’t trust a lot of people, and the older I get, it seems the more and more I turn away from being a people person. Genuine people are hard to come across these […]
Hi
this is my first comment and …
I wanna to write sth which a great mathematician has said:”maybe I must stay and decay in this silence tower with the Vultures which are eating my soul and body.” John Nash
I feel pointless. I seriously do. I’ve had people know about me being suicidal and literally, 2, maybe 3, actually acted like they cared. Now I’m probably up to 4. Everyday for the past month, things keep getting worse. School, family, friends. I’ve survived this once. Twice. Three times. I don’t know if I can do it again. Maybe it’s my time to die. I feel like nobody cares, maybe nobody actually does and it’s all a lie. I guess I should say goodbye to everyone. Before I die…
The quote is from a favorite show… it rings true right now.
I can’t see going out in my home and leaving a mess for everyone to clean up. I’ve failed at everything I ever set my hand to do in this life, so I would at least want my death to be beneficial. I would want a good death.
I’m thinking about life insurance policies and how I could go out so there would still be a payout. Maybe vigilante style, and make sure to end up near a hospital so there’s time enough for my organs to be donated.
Honestly I would prefer a heroic death. Charging into bullets, saving somebody, something. Maybe […]
Where are you now? I used to feel you in everything I did. I used to feel you in the wind, the water, my heart. Now.. I feel nothing. It’s like you never existed. It’s like you were never apart of me. You could make me cry, in a way that wasn’t tragic, but beautiful. You brought me joy and happiness. You brought my heart and mind peace. You took away the darkness and the pain. You stopped the tears and the hurt. Now you’re nowhere to be found, and I feel everything more than ever. I feel the pain and hurt like someone stabbing […]
I don’t know why she won’t let me leave, the schooling that I’ve had hasn’t taught me to write. I will never be able to talk again, either. Sometime ago, right before we moved out to wherever the hell we are, I had managed to escape the place we lived and ran. I never made it far. Maybe two blocks down, she grabbed me (this is about 3 am) dragged me back to the house and tied me down. Then, she continued to drug me and said ” This is gonna hurt but try not to get blood on my shirt would ya?” She took […]
I’ve been going out with the same girl for over 5 years. Tonight, when everyone will be sleeping, this is gonna end. Those are simple words. Meaningless words for you all. But you don’t know. Nobody knows. You’re not breathing my absence of air right now. You’re not filled with these sharp sticks inside your stomach. You’re all in your own world and it doesn’t affect you at all. So why am I writting it ?
To distract myself, maybe. To pause the destructive emotions. To use Mr. Brain and forget about Mr Heart for few minutes.
She will cry a lot. She will definitly hate me. She […]
Hey sorry your all here but im suicidal and kinda want someone to talk to who gets it so if you dont mind could you maybe email me kylewebe66@yahoo.com
I’ve been through so much only to reach this point again.
Got through my mother hating me my whole life, I get she has problems but not letting your 11 year old participate in family anythings, I mean what the hell. And then I was still expected to function like a normal child while my savior, my dad was sneaking me food. I’m past that now, she did horrid things to me but I’ve forgiven her.
Wow, forgot to mention the fact that my parents were (father occasionally) raging alcoholics put on earth by satan himself, thanks man.
Got through my dad beating me later […]
maybe I can’t, maybe I don’t want to, but the cutting isn’t going to stop this time. not after today
Today  I started cutting again (well actually last night). Its like I needed the pain again. Also I’ve researched about suicide methods. I really can’t handle what life requires me to do.
School sucks and I did something horrible that’s probably never gonna get fixed. Even though theres like 10 days left of school I really want it to be over. Maybe its just not for me. I hate being pressured to be something perfect
I’ve met somebody online..
This person is making me feel better than anyone ever did before. This person has an endless capacity to love people. This person is stronger than anyone I met before. This person is positive and happy right now. Maybe ’cause she knows her time will come soon ? I don’t know that, but it’s surprising how a terminally ill person can make me wanna live.
I wish she could stay alive. But maybe she wouldn’t be the same person, and I need to enjoy her “presence” while she’s still there.
I’m not going to kill myself yet, or maybe ever, Â if I discover something to live for. Which is unlikely.
I’m thinking I’ll wait until my parents die. I’m seventeen now, so that’ll be a while. I don’t know what to do with my life. I want the emptiness to go away. I’ve given up on myself a long time ago – I don’t have a co-dependent personality disorder, but I can only force myself to exist if it’s because other people need me. So if I never find anyone else, as soon as both of my parents are gone I’ll go to a place where […]
Today, once everyone leaves me alone, I think I’ll cut. Nobody ever took away my knife when they found out about my depression.
I though I would stop cutting, but I really feel very guilty for some reason. I feel like I smother her. If I didn’t dive in too deep with her, if I didn’t fall so deeply into love with her, maybe she would still care for me. It’s my fault.
So I just got this idea in English class that I could write a story thats 365 pages (they’re practically gonna be chapters) and each one is going to be journal entries for each day of the year. But on the very last day of the year, she is going to commit suicide and succeed. This book is going to turn out very well i hope. I might post it page by page on here. Maybe two pages/chapters a day, but that will only happen when I finish the entire book/story thing.
What is your definition of social introvert and socially awkward?
Have looked up on this but would appreciate individual inputs.
I try to conceal my misanthropy by claiming to be an introvert. Presumably that is less off-putting to others and makes myself feel better. But after a handful of backpacking travels and interacting with people from and in other countries, I have come to conclude that the human heart STINKS just the same no matter where you’re from. What color or gender.
I used to think it is because I live in a third world country (save for the capital city), surrounded by low intellectual and […]
Hey people. It’s been a little while again, hasn’t. Maybe two weeks maybe less. And here I am again. Not to worry, I gave my word on not giving up and fighting these grey days till the bitter end, andd I’m still doing it. I maybe flawed in many ways but that promise is something I don’t want to break. So why am I here then? Well I wanted to ask about a few things and give a little update on myself. Maybe it’ll make someone’s day better knowing I’m still kicking.
So over the past two weeks, a couple of things have happened. To […]
I’m new of the page, and I wanted to start by asking people here, if, for them, all of this feelings of depression, the despair, the death wish, had a beginning, that’s to say, some kind of catalyst that started to bring your life down, to the point where ir became unbearable…
When I was 6 years old, I got sexually abused by a guy who used to work for my parents. I was too little to understand what had happened, but still I told my mother ALL OF IT, and she just dismissed it with a casual “You must have dreamed (dreamt?) it”. Obviously, when […]