I was 5 when it really started to fall apart you see I was never really normal I just suppose that’s when I actually noticed it. that what was happening was wrong that’s what I should have realized but instead what I thought was that everything that was happening to me was okay, It wasn’t an I didn’t know that, I really wish I had. My dad was very mean to me I grew up an cut myself in 6th grade for the first time from then on I couldn’t stop I haven’t either that was 3 years ago. This is my story if you want to hear more […]
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mean
Whenever I talk about suicide with my family or friends, they always say the same things: it’s wrong, it’s selfish, it’s just NOT GOOD. And yeah, I get the part that by doing it, you’d hurt those that love you. But the thing is, when I think about suicide, I think about how the people around me would be better off in some way and how I’d spare them and the people that I might cross paths with in the future. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t want to be a bad person. And that’s one of the reasons why I want to […]
My step dad is a drug addict, and yesterday he said he was quiting and then today he has the nerve to come to me and ask for my pills, it’s like if i dont give them to him hes gonna hate me but if i do then i hate me i just want him to get better or get out it’s not fair that i have to live with him let alone my 2 year old sister i mean just fix yourself or leave my house.
So for the past year or so ive been thinking about a suicide daily, life’s so hard at the minute.. my ex girlfriend lives two doors down from me which im still madly in love with and think about her daily. its so messed up for me i mean i can get off my bed and look out my window and her windows there.. recently lost my job. can honestly say i have just one friend and shes 41. no male friends. no interaction with girls. removed my fb account the other week. and on top of everything i have a cyst on my bollock […]
Why am I always asked this? It always ends with trouble.
What they always mean to ask is, When are you moving out? or, When are you going to get a job? or, When are you going to stop being a moocher?
WTF am I supposed to say??? I don’t have any plans for my life, only for my death next year…
I fear he plans to give me an ultimatum. Get a job or move out. Start going to bed at 830pm & rise at 5am like the rest of the house, or get out, or pay more money.
He doesnt believe in depression, only that a woman’s […]
It’s so hard. I know that suicide will hurt a lot of the people around me especially Tino. And Tino if you see this I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be another Alexis. I can’t take this depression and these thoughts anymore! Between the thoughts, depression, anxiety, my past, my present, my family, coming out to myself as gay, I can’t go on like this anymore! My wrists are scarred but covered by bracelets, my mind is killing me. My soul is already dead. I found out that not even people who are friends of my family would support me being gay. No one that […]
I used to weigh 120 pounds…now I weigh 200 pounds…I gained all that weight in less than a year…My fiance had just recently come into money and I guess you could say “we lived the good life”…since then I’ve had nothing but hate for myself.. I take forever to get ready because none of my clothes fit me and I hate to look at myself…now it’s constantly the center of my fiance and I’s arguments..he just doesn’t seem to understand my pain…I used to get comments like of your pregnant? And oh wow why didn’t you say anything(about being pregnant)…and I wasn’t…the sad part is, […]
I only mean that , when I tell people I am depressed they usually assume that I am lying because it is less likely to hear of African Americans admitting to suffering from depression.
This is one of those nights where I feel like ish won’t go right…. I tried to keep telling myself things could be worse. But in reality … If it got any worse I just wouldn’t be able to make it…. Tonight I just wanna cry… But the tears don’t mean anything… Because no one cares… I don’t even care anymore… #FML
10 years of gradual more mental ilness the more time has passed with an infinite maximum mental illness from a hernia losing sexual pleasure+lost childhood from anti depressant pills+alot of mental traumatization per mental illness+people being mean to me made me lose all my control of suicide homicide
basically,every suicide forum i went to made me want to kill myself more because they banned me for getting help to not kill myself
at this rate,theres a 2/3 chance that this very forum im posting this exact thing here onto will ban me and increase the likelyhoodedness of making me kill myself (due to me getting banned from […]
HUH. so here im letting out my depression in online world man im so messed up. Let me tell u about myself im cooper 17 years old got a sister we are 5 years apart ( shes 22 now) . She got enrolled in college at country side so my family had to move from city to a godforsaken rural area by family i mean my mother ,me and my sister ya i know i dont have a dad he died in some acciedent when i was 1 . well the messed up part is im not sure how he died how does he look […]
Yep. Maybe it’s because I have so many things wrong with me. I’m not hiding behind them, I like to think not, anyway. I’m true to my feelings, and am kind of brutal sometimes. Usually, I say what’s on other people’s minds. I feel bad. I can’t figure myself out. I’m mean to those who intimidate me, and sometimes, I’m just mean for no reason – usually when I’m manic – which is no excuse. I don’t forgive those who have hurt because I’m afraid they’ll only do it again. I’m afraid. I’m afraid of everything. I wish I was pre-rape me. I was super […]
I hate my body I really don’t know what to do in life I have no talent n I can’t be of any use to anymore we’ll at times that what my stepdad thinks. But I sometimes believe him I wish I wasn’t in so much pyshical pain n to try n get better while waiting I feel so scared n wonder about how am I still here. It’s difficult right now my body feels like a accordion I hope I spelled that right cause certain areas of my body feel either twisted or stretched out why is there hope… but I want to talk […]
I didn’t mean to seem so coldhearted. I actually love every one of you as you love me. It makes me cry to realize that I’m so mean to you guys. Please forgive me! Oh, and please don’t ban me. :3
I am new to this site and I was wondering what does your comment is awaiting moderation mean? Does it mean that the person who made the post that you commented on has to approve your comment?
I feel like I’m literally the worst person in the world. I look at myself each day in the mirror and resist the urge to punch my reflection into a bunch of tiny pieces. Nobody really cares about me. I guess I don’t really care about them, either. But that’s not true, because if I didn’t give a damn about anyone, I’d be dead right now. I’d be able to do this, and never have to worry about anything ever again.
I’m mean to others. I told my ex-Boyfriend that I hoped his mother, who is suffering from cancer, would die an agonizing death from it. […]
A few weeks ago I came across an article in the New York Times about a man and his love for his cat. It was surprisingly interesting despite the subject matter and reflected on bits of human nature that would be applicable to more than just ones relationship with their cat/pet.
From the article: “I’ve speculated that people have a certain reservoir of affection that they need to express, and in the absence of any more appropriate object – a child or a lover, a parent or a friend – they will lavish the same devotion on a pug or a manx or a cockatiel, even […]
When I say seniors, I don’t mean school grade. I mean ‘over 65.’ I want to know if there are any others near my age on this website. I’m not presently suicidal. I have been most of my life. But now death is a given in the next 30 years or so. I’m wondering how persons from my generation who have survived feel now. Are there any on this website?
I’m presently having some physical problems. I am consulting with my general practitioner. I am not afraid of death, a friend I have sought during most of my life; but I’m also not afraid to live.
How […]
the popes got it wrong
when theres no more ozone
we will see the falacy
with our last breath
we’re all going to hell
with no water to quench the smell
inhaled in a blind hurry
a dead man walking at a feast
and our apologies won’t mean a thing
the childrens eyes will shame every human being
each passive one of us a sentencing
but the law rarely gets you for doing nothing
what we have done
knows no logical bounds
we have spoiled the earth
we gangrape the ground
when our plans got botched
we just stood by and watched
we can not explain away
everyone knew […]