Why am I always asked this? It always ends with trouble.
What they always mean to ask is, When are you moving out? or, When are you going to get a job? or, When are you going to stop being a moocher?
WTF am I supposed to say??? I don’t have any plans for my life, only for my death next year…
I fear he plans to give me an ultimatum. Get a job or move out. Start going to bed at 830pm & rise at 5am like the rest of the house, or get out, or pay more money.
He doesnt believe in depression, only that a woman’s place is to clean & cook & wait on him.
Ive had nightmares of him kicking me out. WTF am I gonna do…
5 comments
I was in a similar situation a year and a half ago when I lived with my mum and her boyfriend. I left school due to depression, and then got pressured into getting fulltime work. My mums boyfriend didn’t understand depression. He didn’t see that I was struggling to wake up each day and go to sleep each night. So of course he didn’t see how working that job was killing me. I tried to kill myself in the bathroom at work oneday, I couldn’t take it anymore.
I wish I had advice. I wish I could tell you how to navigate this. But I got sucked into his stupid world; and so did my mum. I don’t know how to survive in such circumstances. All I know is that I went into some sort of weird survival mode when I was forced into high-pressure work. I’d get up at 5am each day, shut my emotions off and not turn them back on until 10pm at night when I went to sleep.
I was worried day and night after your last email, where you basically said you would be gone by morning, and i waited until now to know if you were still alive! I thought you couldn’t take it anymore and you had jumped off a cliff and killed yourself last night, like you wrote about your suicide as an obcession! But here you are making comments, and you didn’t even email me to let me know you’re still alive?!! I’m glad you didn’t do it and you’re still here Jess, bye. I won’t be coming to this website ever again.
Sorry i got your name wrong Tess, i’m not feeling well, bye. Bye Suicide Project.
This is now the 3rd time I have been in this situation. 1st with my sister’s husband. He despised ‘dole bludgers’, even tho I had just got away from my mother. Ironically, he’s now unemployed & depressed!
The second was with my first girlfriend/best friend. She hated that I had no goals in my life, so when I started working in childcare, I also studied to be a childcare director (boss). This completely burnt me out & we ended pretty quickly.
Now I am at the end. I have no alternatives to turn to. I wish I still had my car. If I did, I would pack it up & take off.
Make plans for you life.
Make money.
Live.
Look forward to something.
Smile and be happy.
🙂