Some people think life is so easy.. so easy to take.. to live.. life is so fucking easy when you are speaking your own language… but what if I can’t hear it? What if I can’t see it?
Think positive?
Thinking positive isn’t the same as what some would think… A positive notion to me would be if I just so happened to not wake up tomorrow. It’s not that I can’t make my life better (which I probably can’t) it’s that I don’t want life. I hate life. People can’t understand that, and I’m so confused as to why everyone isn’t born with […]
Tag:
my life
I have everything I ever wanted,
No… seriously , I do. Yet it feels like nothing, I hurt all the time and just want to sleep, cry and sleep. The hardest part is that it just makes me hate myself even more, the doctors say “depression” and give me pills that don’t work, the friends say it’s because I work too hard and suggest a drink (like I need ANOTHER addiction in my life to battle, one that is socially acceptable, cheap and everywhere, and I thought heroine was hard to stay away from). The saddest part of all of this is that I see myself […]
i really don’t know why but i wasn’t expecting myself to come back here, i tough oh just one night then go back to being silent but i can’t really, i need to talk to people even if i’m not actually talking to someone, i’m letting out some of my feeling.
Talking about those feels, i really hate them sometimes i wish was like Patch from hush, hush unable to feel. I want to be a fallen but aren’t i already, i think i am, yes i’m a fallen, i would call myself a angel but i’m far from that nop i’m a demons walking among […]
I’m not really sure how to start this, honestly ten minutes ago I didn’t see myself writing anything at all. You search something on Google and end up on a website, just reading posts. As the title suggests this is just me rambling…reminiscing…ruminating…for a lack of a better word just babbling. Madman Joseph at your service.
Throughout my life I can’t really recall a specific time when I’ve been happy, I’m sure most of us can relate to that. Though more specifically I can’t remember when my happiness wasn’t a result of something someone had done for me. It’s almost as if my happiness depends on […]
“If only there was a way I would not see another day. A year has gone without these thoughts in my mind, but now that peace is all behind. Another sleepless night beneath an indifferent sky convinces me that I should die.”
What a pathetic excuse is this gallows poetry. It’s typical of me. A useless narcissistic ploy to call attention to myself by some second grade rhymes.
The truly exceptional people in this world don’t need to call attention to themselves. It’s only an arrogant fool who needs to compensate for his inferiority by saying, “Look at me! Look at me! See how clever I […]
‘to live is the rarest thing in the world, most of us just exist’ – the fabulous oscar wilde
litterally on the edge right now. cant stand anymore. i need a way out. i dont want to just exist anymore…
For the past 6 years I have suffered from severe depression and social anxiety. There has never been a good time in my life. Before I even developed mental illnesses my Dad was an abusive asshole to my mother and sometimes to me and my siblings. I’ve never had a true friend, I click with no one and relate with no one. I’ve been in therapy for about 3 years now and it seems like nothing is getting better. I left school on the first day of last year because of how bad things were getting; I just couldn’t handle it any longer.
So basically all I’ve been […]
I sometimes go to bed thinking everything will be better the next day and that my life is just a bad dream. And when I wake up reality snaps back in to me and than I remember. I am an embarrassment to the family according to my father and I am useless to society. My goal is to inform others of what I live trough everyday.
i recently took in a stray cat…..he’s all old and crochety and sweet and has one eye missing….it took awhile to gain his trust, but now he’s purring at my feet…it’s very rewarding and theraputic……i came upon this site like a week ago, i was doing a bunch of research on suicide methods……i have 3 really awesome people in my life, and i’m daft as fuck but i realize it’s 3 more than some…….but i have some health problems, it hurts to move sometimes….so i do alot of drugs, socially acceptable in my case of course, which somehow makes it worse……i’ve also had some things, […]
I found my soulmate the love of my life we’re getting married next spring. But my anxiety depression psycosis and other things make me want to gravitate toward the drugs I promised I’d never take I’ve done half of all the ones I know of weed crank coke etc. I’m thinking about going back to cutting at least that’s what I think is best for me you know? My thoughts about my self have gone to the worst point they’ve been on in a while. My Ed has came back taken control of me I just wanna say fuck it but for my love I […]
I joined SuicideProject.org last night and thought I’d introduce myself:
I have battled severe depression (and later suicidal feelings) since I was a teenager. I kept everything to myself until a few years ago when I revealed to everybody in my life what I had been going through. I won‘t say things have been perfect since then, but they have improved – I guess you could say I have been in “suicidal remission.”
Anyway, that’s the summarized version of my story. I plan to pop in here whenever I feel I have something constructive to add. I used to be quite good at helping people with their […]
I am 22 and I feel like I am living because I have 2, since I was a child I always knew I was different from the other kids, I was always wondering about death and where I will go… my parents got divorced when I was a kid, I actually don’t remember anything of that, but I remember being raped… since then I have been a lonely person and I am really afraid of relationships with guys , I had friends, but for some reason I ended up cutting the relationships with them, is like, a lot of people know who you are but […]
In regards to suicide I will say this. Though life can provide us with the indulgence of our favorite things, with friends and lovers, with the company of people who make our hearts soar, life can also provide us with troubles, thoughts of failure and doubts of our own virtues. My heart is impaled with sadness and sometimes I go through life a ghostly figure nothing to look forward to except the warm embrace of sleep. When a person’s life is infected with the disease of depression and some days are a struggle to live and most nights a struggle to sleep, it is suffering. […]
This is my first and only intended post to the site and I wanted to recognise that there is some encouraging words displayed and some wonderful people who take the time to care for anonymous persons they don’t peen know.
Sadly I am not a person that deserves that care. I have a loving family, wonderful wife and beautiful baby girl! All of whom I adore and love without question. I am not a good person though and don’t deserve their love. By sticking around I a making life harder for everyone and drawing out the painful inevitable process, my choice is my last feeling of […]
I guess I’ve been depressed for years now.. And it’s rough. The worst of it is that most others don’t understand. “What’s wrong with you?” “You just have to be positive..” “I can’t handle you being sad all the time.” Lately the suicidal thoughts are occurring more often and seem to be sounding like very viable options, and I hate that. I woke up this morning and just cried. Mainly because I hate my job, my living arrangements, and my current economic standing. I hate that I am so ridiculously lonely all the time, yet consciously choose to be alone. I hate that I know […]
I’m turning 26 next Friday. My life is an absolute mess, I dont even know where to start. I’ve had thoughts about suicide for about 10 years now.
I’m overweight (240lbs/5’10”), not handsome at all, never had a girlfriend. My friends keep on telling me that I’m such a nice guy, but what does that help with anything. I also have social anxiety disorder, which I try to ignore most of the time.
I tried to turn my life around once when I was 16, just thinking that I might find some kind of goal. I went from 255 lbs to 199 lbs in the span of a year, […]
I am a late diagnosed female of Asperger syndrome. I have never had any friends. I disowned my toxic family. My marriage is in shit street. I have never been able to work for too long despite having many talents that I cannot seem to apply in the working world. I also have 3 children. 2 are autistic. Life is too difficult. I have endured far too many relationship breakdowns that I completely avoid and cannot trust people any longer. I look to my future and see nothing but loneliness, more pain, illness, and bitterness. How is it rational to want to live for that […]
I’ve lived with anxiety and depression all my life. The only reason I’m still here is because of the love I have for my mom. Recently I have found myself in some serious trouble. To the point that I have lost everything I’ve worked for. I’ll be homeless, carless,jobless, pennyless, and loveless. Just a week ago I had all that. I made the mistake to drink and drive. As a out of state truck driver trying to move from AZ to NY to be with a woman whom I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. Of course my dark thoughts got […]
I never thought that
You would be the one to hold my heart
But you came around
And you knocked me off the ground from the start
You put your arms around me
And I believe that it’s easier for you to let me go
You put your arms around me and I’m home
How many times will let you change my mind and turn around
I can’t decide if I’ll let you my life or if I’ll drown
I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, ’cause I’m already falling
I’ll never let a love get so close
You […]
I thought I’d put my suicide note here. I don’t really wanna leave a note for anyone I know but I know I wanna leave some sort of note. Being a completely new member here allows me the chance to say anything without prejudice.
Ive suffered with mental illness all my life. One of my 1st ever memories is of a childish and feeble suicide attempt. I can’t have been more than 5. I’m the youngest of 6 brothers and I have the greatest mum in the world. Although my childhood was outwardly great I always knew something was wrong. I was a gifted child both […]