Hi everyone. Well a little about me, I was born to a 16 and a 17 year old couple, their relationship didn’t last, so I was raised by my mom. When I was 2 my dad came back in to my life and I would go and spend the night with him every now an then at his mom’s house. When I was 5 me and my brother spent a month with him during the summer. During that time I was molested by a man who, I guess was a family member of my step grandpa. At first I knew it was wrong, but as […]
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my life
This is my first post to this site and I’m a little apprehensive. My soon to be fiancé and I broke up yesterday. I’ve been crying ever since. She and I met online. She was going to be the last person I talked to before I ended my lifei . SHe and her boyfriend had broken up and I wanted to make sure she was okay and make one last person happy before I ended my life. We started dating and I was planning on proposing. It all came to a stop yesterday. I’ve got bad PTSD as I am a volunteer law enforcement officer. […]
So many times I’ve been told “it gets better”. In my case, it eventually will, but it could take 5 years or longer, and I can’t make it for that long. For those 5+ years, I’ll be stuck with my own body making my life hell. I can’t have relationships, I can’t do a lot of the things I want to do, getting dressed or hearing the sound of my own voice will be torture, just like it has been for so many years already.
I already tried to end it before, only a few months ago. I collected painkillers, but I quickly realised that I […]
That’s gonna be my next tattoo the second I get paid next. “Life goes on”
I want the message to sink in, once and for all. It’s what I need in my life right now.
I strongly feel that this is only something a person has to figure out for themselves. You simply can’t convince some one that their life goes on..you can tell them but will they instantly believe? I don’t think so in many cases.
I wouldn’t ever tell someone life goes on, I can only support them if they feel it’s true or at least if they want to have faith that […]
Hi there,
I recently got divorced from my wonderful wife, we met wen we were 14 and had been together ever since. Up until 6 months ago when she left me and my life had spiralled out of control.
She left me with over 20k debt which has trashed my credit file and take me 11 years to pay off. She moved in with another man and it broke my heart.
However I couldn’t believe my luck I met a wonderful girl within a few weeks of my divorce but things went from bad to worse, she ended up pregnant and aborted our child without telling me which […]
….oh yeah..
I’m suddenly feeling a manic episode coming on. I’m at a crossroads with this feeling.. I don’t know whether to try and use it to feel better or keep low with the help of my sad music and bad habits. I just don’t want to crash again..it’s getting so old I just want to keep myself down and depressed as long as possible. But time goes by and I get nothing done in my life. I cant eat to the point of self harm. The problem with these manic feelings is that they always drop suddenly without warning, that or I become delusional […]
I am slowly coming to honest terms with the fact that, against all of my efforts, there truly is no hope for me. Whatever good things that I either create for myself or just happen upon me are all illusions whose ugly truths get revealed eventually.
I cannot trust my mom or my dad. Or the various mentors in my life.
I cannot trust my sister.
I don’t know if I can trust my brother, although ironically he’s shattered my trust many times in the past.
I cannot trust the only person who has ever really known me and who said the words, “I will always love you.”
I no longer have friends to break my trust.
This February, […]
I may be young but my life is crumbled.My problem is not as serious as you people who take drugs and cut themselves because you are seriously hurt.I just feel like a piece of s***. I keep smiling in my life holding back my real feelings but that just makes me feel worse it makes me feel like i want to explode! My friends are not my real friends my family only critisize my every move i have no freedom.i feel like i want to die. I told myself that if i go through this hardship then god will reward me with heaven.but no. I […]
damn. 19, nearly 20 and I’m still a distant son to my parents. I haven’t seen them in years.
never has it really been any different.
I really don’t want to spout the same generic things that people would expect to hear.
I don’t want to be just another. I hope no one reads this. Its like letting the public know
but hoping they close their eyes, and don’t listen
neglectfulness fills my life.
I was in hopspital 3 years ago, I was a lot worse then.
I was really gone back then…I can’t remember much of it.
But now, although the doctors shone that light in […]
Sorry for all the posts today.. but i needed to write this down somewhere…
I’ve been having these slight and subtle flashbacks to who I was and how my character was before all this mess took over.. I can almost feel that person trying to lighten my spirits.. it has me in tears
Is it real? Or another hallucination.. I’m afraid to let it lead me. I don’t know if it’s the devil in disguise, waiting for me to let my guard down.
How did I even get to this… why did I ever come here? And when I’m not here, why am I this […]
I have a bad habit of not taking my meds. Only two of them are important, one stops the seizures and the other helps me from attempting at my life. Even when i’m on my meds i still wish to die but off of them,hell i can only say it’s hard to resist killing myself. My boyfriend would be completely ruined and so would my family. That’s the only reason to be honest, i except the thought of death. I’ve been told that i’m selfish and complain a lot but if people knew the crippling pain i was in they would shut the fuck up. […]
So right now im sitting in the living room of my home, watching my fiancée pack her things to leave. And it’s killing me. I can’t stand it. I haven’t much to say, just to say I’m sorry. I failed you, in so many ways and therefore I deserve this. Which is why I have decided to end my life tonight. You’ll leave, and be happy. And I’ll be happy too. You told me that you want me to think of my happiness first now. Well that’s what I’m going to do. Tonight after you close the door for the last time, I will wrap […]
Hello everyone, this is my first post, I think even my first post on the internet. I have read alot of your stories and they touched and moved me deeply and brought me to tears. If in some way I could be of help to someone out there just give me a message and I will be there for you. You are not alone in this nightmare.
Now for my story, I am a 32 year old man from the Netherlands, born slighty autistic ( I got traits from Asperger). My life has always been ‘different’ because in my mind I connect the dots different and […]
I hate the world we live in, the society we’re built on, and any direction i could take my life in…. I feel like such a disgrace, my life is wonderful! As i type this on my smartphone in my cozy bed in a warm house, my loving parents are probably thinking about me just like i think about them constantly… They shower me in love and gifts and praise, but I DO NOT DERSEVE A FRACTION OF IT! Killing myself would be too harsh for these beautiful, kind individuals, but I feel it would save them from dissapointment and hardships in the future… I […]
Am I the only one who uses alcohol/pot to get through the day? I mean I know it’s not good in the long run, but in the moment it helps. I get to a point where I literally cannot bear the pain, it’s just too much, and I honestly feel that if I didn’t have to booze to wear me out and let me forget i would drive straight to the Golden Gate Bridge and jump. I feel like booze have saved my life a couple times this week, I just drink to the point where I don’t have the energy or motivation to hurt […]
This may be my last post not because I’m going to kill myself. As my drs and social services don’t think I can cope anymore and they are right. They think my mental health condition is not manageable in the Community or like a psychiatric hospital. So they looking at sending me to a therapeutic Community. I really don’t want to go but got no Choice over the matter. I know I cart cope with the life I’ve been given feeling suicidal is just one off many problems I’ve got to deal with on a day to day basis. I wish I could be a […]
I honestly don’t know what to do. Everything’s slowly coming apart at the seams. I’m falling behind in all of my classes and hardly paying attention to my parents. I’m unattractive and most of the people that I hang out with just think of me as really annoying. I bet there’s a line of people waiting to try and kill me. Hell, I’ve even stopped reading books as much as i used to. And it’s not just that I feel unmotivated. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I suppose that’s what it’s like when you live your whole life doing what people tell […]
Is it possible that there is a force bigger an even more capable of destroying me than just the society, the world and human beings this planet is.. Like the saying I have heard and used so many times before ‘the universe is against me’ Maybe yes it is yes it really is. I have tried so many times through my life to try and figure out why…. why me, why is this it, why was I born. what is the point of all this the point of life well maybe there is really no point who ever came up with everyone has a purpose […]
but this is the last straw,
its my birthday in a couple weeks (27), i should be excited and i have alot of things i still enjoy. i can walk, talk, see, smell and hear. and that alone should be enough. I made a list of all the things i appreciate in life, but i look at my list and i dont feel grateful, maybe its the media or the 1st world society problems that i think are so terrible. but im just done with it. every day i wake up and i raise my hand to my head and “pull the trigger” just hoping that […]
My name is Jammy, I used to write a lot, i used to read a lot, i used to draw, paint and climb everything i looked, I also used to pull my hair, crash my head against the wall or fight my siblings when i was mad, and all nights i used to cry until i felt asleep, Mom couldn’t look at me when she came tired from work so she used to send me to the backyard at nights, first I was scared (just as every kid would) but then I start it to like, i enjoyed it being there but that wasn’t normal […]