I have finally found meaning in life – albeit a small and obscure pursuit. I understand now that my voice, as deeply cynical as it is, deserves to be heard. Perhaps, needs to be heard. When I speak the way I do, it is because it comes from a place that is dark yes, but crude and unadulterated. It is the simple, unprocessed thoughts that run through my head on an hourly basis. They stem from a gloom that has settled over my life like a dense and poisonous fog. And yet, the skies have cleared in many ways – I see things and people […]
Regarding my last post, and the whole tumblr situation. I seem to have lost my two best friends. I’d had these friends (my only friends) for 4, nearing 5 years. They had stuck by me through everything. Following this quarrel with my guy ‘friend’, I seem to have taken my anger out on them, and now they’re gone.
I feel terrible. Nothing could go much worse right about now. The two people in the whole world that could make me happy no matter what had happened are gone. I’ve lost them. I pushed them away. I ruined things for myself.
I have quite literally burned down everything […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Hello, this is my first times me and I’m glad I found you. I can relate to so many people here after reading their post.
its 2:22am and its one of those nights where my pain won’t let me sleep and my mind is racing.
i recently left my job because I was taken for granted. I did so much there and it all went unnoticed. I am fincailly stuck! I attempted to open up a store on etsy making bday banners. To be honest I feel like it’s a completely waste of time. Nothing seems to go right, it takes me so long to do one […]
I’m 15 years old and I want to die. Today (I guess yesterday now) l told my sister that I didn’t want to live anymore. I also spent most of the day sleeping because I didn’t want to be awake.
Is it bad that all of my friends are moving on and they don’t care about me? I guess my friends and me included are “popular” and I don’t want to be friends with other people? I’ve been feeling left out for a while now. But does that make me a bad person that I choose not to reach out to other people because of […]
What Do I Say Now? PART I
I don’t really know how to go about saying what I need to say to all of the people that I need to say something to. Honestly, how do you say that your sorry for killing yourself to all of those that you love and care about; when it was a truly selfish and self-centered thing to do, but it really was what you wanted at that moment and that you are still somewhat bitter about the fact that it was fucked with and you failed at because someone decided they knew what was in your best interest better […]
There are only a handful of things keeping me from doing it, and they’re all people. My wife, whom I don’t want to leave to pick up my shit. My little brother, who will be so confused. My parents, who will be ravaged. My employees, who will not understand.
But the reasons not to are starting to be outweighed by the feeling that I need to do it.
I feel like the moments where I think about doing it are the only moments of clarity in my life and that everything else is fake.
I think that the fact that I don’t want to do it, but feel […]
As I see a brief moment of clarity, it is gone in a sigh. No trip to Vegas is enough to get me to reconsider. This past, present and future, I want to destroy it all. I’ve decided to play a game of chance with my life. It is simple, just drink until it’s all gone. I wonder what my cards will say now. Will my fate be overseen by the Sun, Moon, Magician, World, Tower or perhaps, even Death. So, as I down the poison for this game, I’m listening to “Aoki Tsuki Mochite” by AKIRA, the ending theme for the third season of […]
I used to post here a lot, about a year and a half ago. I was hopeless and wanted everything to end so bad. I hoped and prayed everyday for things to get better and did everything I could to make it happen. I came here to not feel so alone.
And things did get better. It took a while but all my wishes came true and I finally got the happiness I had been seeking for so long.
It was all because of a guy I was in love with and was waiting for him to come back to me. He finally did and he proposed. […]
I’m struggling to find a reason to stay. What is the point of my life?
I know i am posting a lot, i am so fed up of my life, its getting worse everyday. I cant cope anymore. My life has no point or meaning. i just cry all the time. im in so much pain and need it to end
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I was 21 years old when I visited a local Doctor who was well known as the guy to see if you wanted anabolic steroids. I explained to him how I had been training and trying to change my body as I had no confidence in the way I looked. I explained how I was not confident enough to ever have a relationship or go on a date. He asked lots of questions and I admitted to having panic attacks when I would go out to clubs with friends on a Friday or Saturday night. I felt […]
I always feel like I think a lot differently than most people. I always think philosophically about everything I do . It drives me crazy.
I really think that is one reason why I’m depressed. I’m always wanting to find a reason that humans are alive. I’m a nihilistic person I’m not religious or anything, but I think I need something like that in my life.
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So many of my “friends” (i.e. people that I know) have told me that I need to find something that makes me want to live. So I thought and I thought and I thought, and I came up with the fact that books….I can live for books. There are so many books that I can spend my time reading. I’ll never run out of books to read.
So once I figured this out, I started going to the library and checking out 20 and 30 books to read at a time. I’ve begun to read all of the time, spending whole days laid up in bed […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I always feel like there is something missing .
Ive felt like this since I was like 11.
One day my dad told me my mom had a miscarriage with another child .. My twin. I survived though .
My twin was supposed to be identical. I feel like her being gone is why I feel like a part of me is missing. I don’t know what to do about this .
Shell never be back. So I feel like there isn’t a solution to not feeling this emptiness inside me .
Even when I find someone I really care about or love , they even do not fill up […]