Hi everyone my name is Sunflower. I have been a member of this sight for a while now (over a year i think maybe 2). This sight has helped me tremendously. When I had no one I came here to talk and express my feelings. Ive made friends here; some of whom havent come on for a while and I hope are doing well. When  I say I love you all i mean it. My life has been hell, confusing and oh so very lonely and SP has been my light through all the darkness. Anyone who I havent talked to on here i do […]
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New Chapter
Isolation
Anxiety
Guilty
Yet Quiet
Pushing myself Slowly
………
Distractions
Still worried
Caring but
Really
Challenging
Missing
Emptiness
Lost
Frustrated
Sad
Reality I really do have too
Can’t go…
Near…
Supposed to move forward plus…
Others are happy.
Its like…
I never existed ever…
I always understood the fact where everyone always moves forward,
Abandoning others
I try so hard not to abandon other people though…
Even if i am mad,
Pissed off after we make up we still say hi and have a conversation but this time…
It will never happen.
That guilt and regret feeling.
It conqures more and more…
Each and every day again.
but at least I am starting to forget.
Starting to be self again.
Isolated
Alone
Quiet
Calm
I’m a hobbiest now.
Try something new
I will never be a princess
I shall not fall as quickly
I was a hopeless romantic
Just […]
Fuck. My life has never been worse. I mean, there have been and are really shitty things in my life. Things I can’t control. But it has got to the point where I can’t see a way out anymore.
I realise that I have a lot to live for. My family really needs me, as do my friends. They all love me. I am  trying really hard to keep up my academic side. I was actually focusing on that when the shit storm hit.
I had a boyfriend. Fuck that is depressing having to write that in the past tense. People say stupid shit like ‘Oh yeah, […]
Sorry, I have been in deep thought for a few couple of weeks. Trying to figure out my own situations, complixed complicated life.
Instead of forgetting, I will just write it down. Hopefully take all of these memories away from my mind. Start over, a new chapter, Learning Lessons. But hopefully to draw again, hopefully to enjoy things again, hoping to love and forgive myself for all these years of hating and wanting myself dead. Hoping one day I could love someone else as well again. But better. Right now isn’t the time, the day, or chapter to be with anyone but myself and family again. No lie it’s ganna be hard, and its […]