I was picked up out of my home and thrown into a mental hospital on 12/30/2011 for a week so it really thwarted my plans of ctb before the new year. I left the hospital with a false sense of optimism, and now I’m sitting in my apartment on suicide websites again…..feeling like my soul is dead and I’m just going through the motions because that’s what I was told to do. Truth be told, I have no idea what the next day or weeks ahead of me hold….I know today was a shitty day, not sure when the glimmer of sunshine will show through […]
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New Year
A week from today, I will end my life. I have known for better than 20 years that my end would come by my own hand. Now it is time. While I am both heart-broken and depressed, I also realize that I no longer have the capacity to contribute to the world at large, much less to those I love, in any meaningful way. I’ve known for roughly five years that the confluence of events over the course of my now 46 years were heading in this direction. I’ve sunk ever so slowly into a situation that makes my ability to continue, impossible.
A month ago, […]
Its just another year of lonliness.
Just another year of pain.
Another year of me wishing I was somewhere else.
But at least its a new year. 2011 was the year when things went wrong. Horribly, terribly wrong. So wrong that i wanted to kill myself. 2012 could be better. But it could be worse. Hopefully it will be better. I doubt it though
-End
Here is a bit about me. Â I am an adult soul trapped inside a teenage body. Â I have OCD, but few know and nobody cares. Â I have depression, but few know and nobody cares. Â I live a life. Â I hate it.
People say, I have so much to live for. Â What? Â Family – like they care. Â Friends – who? Â I’m going to be a successful person, blah blah blah – who the f*ck cares? Â My dad once asked what would have happened if Albert Einstein wasn’t born. Â The answer was someone else would have come along and done what he did. Â So who cares if I’m […]
so its a new year, another year of my stupid and meaningless life.
my own family did not wish me a new year. they celebrated and wished on their own and i could hear their celebration but no one thought that i was there too. My best friend messaged me and called me but what a luck i got, he is in england and its impossible for me to judt go there and meet him.
I don’t know who am i writing to or talking to with this post. but i have a feeling that atleast someone around this world cares for me. I […]
Hi everyone, am a forum newbie. Decided as it is new year, will also register straight away.
Where to start, I am female, 30 from the UK. I have suffered Borderline Personality DIsorder as far back as I remember I, just came out of some calm BPD remission time (no love life or want for one) ie a want for a love life arose. But the feeling was not reciprocated, hence been feeling suicidal, now here. I don’t want sympathy. I just wish to be abit of a lurker and learn good methods for the time when this happens again, which it will (always does) and […]
First and foremost, Happy New Year everyone, though it seems that some of you here have had/are having a crappy time.
I’m new here, name’s Aki. I stumbled upon this site a few months/years back, but never registered. Got put off by the seeming anti suicide I was reading on here at that time (I think, I don’t know. I’ve gone through a lot of suicide sites). I’m not known or anything, but I do lurk around other sites, though they’re mostly pro. Anyways.
Here’s a brief summary of my attempted suicide history.
Started thinking about it when I was nine years old, then went through the whole emo […]
I can’t begin to explain how tired I am of everything. Â Tired of being a failure, tired of the loneliness, tired of feeling like an alien that doesn’t belong anywhere, tired of not having any money, tired of putting on a brave face, tired of my shitty family, tired of having “trusted” friends stabbing me in the back, tired of hurting, tired of being hurt, tired of the sadness, tired of missing the only man I ever loved, tired of having everything go wrong, tired of the holidays … most of all, I’m tired of living.
I know people keep saying that tomorrow is the start […]
As I am now “literally” in the & from the future, I wish everyone here, young & old(er) a somewhat happy New Year, and I genuinely hope/want/desire that you all have a “better” (not perfect, it doesnt exist) year ahead.
Will there be so so days or problems? Off course there will be not so good days & problems. Thats normal. That is life.
Staying positive is really like eating. If you don’t do it regularly enough, your entire health suffers.
Can I make a suggestion to everyone, whether you are sick or not? Use google for good ~ Go Google “inspirational quotes” (or people who have overcome […]
-stop smoking
-lose weight
-work on self esteem
-work on social anxiety
-stop cutting
anyone else?
It wont be easy 2 fully finish this
Or 2 get rid of all my thoughts of my addictions.
I want 2 be done and be free.
I want 2 be happy and i will be.
i am strong and beautiful and will get threw this
now with his help and kisses and comfort
i am 1 step closer 2 being done.
Its a new year and i will start of clean……
I’m catching the bus before the new year, but I’ve been keeping up with the posts and wondering. Many mention finding hobbies to stay busy. What’s the point of being alive if you’re just existing? Chasing down hobbies to keep your mind off of offing yourself doesn’t seem like a very fulfilling life. So out of curiosity…what’s the point?
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