I am 22 and I feel like I am living because I have 2, since I was a child I always knew I was different from the other kids, I was always wondering about death and where I will go… my parents got divorced when I was a kid, I actually don’t remember anything of that, but I remember being raped… since then I have been a lonely person and I am really afraid of relationships with guys , I had friends, but for some reason I ended up cutting the relationships with them, is like, a lot of people know who you are but […]
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nothing
In regards to suicide I will say this. Though life can provide us with the indulgence of our favorite things, with friends and lovers, with the company of people who make our hearts soar, life can also provide us with troubles, thoughts of failure and doubts of our own virtues. My heart is impaled with sadness and sometimes I go through life a ghostly figure nothing to look forward to except the warm embrace of sleep. When a person’s life is infected with the disease of depression and some days are a struggle to live and most nights a struggle to sleep, it is suffering. […]
I am a late diagnosed female of Asperger syndrome. I have never had any friends. I disowned my toxic family. My marriage is in shit street. I have never been able to work for too long despite having many talents that I cannot seem to apply in the working world. I also have 3 children. 2 are autistic. Life is too difficult. I have endured far too many relationship breakdowns that I completely avoid and cannot trust people any longer. I look to my future and see nothing but loneliness, more pain, illness, and bitterness. How is it rational to want to live for that […]
the people on here, this website, are true sufferers- they are drowning in poverty, surrounded by nothing but their own crushing thoughts and self-accusations. they have reason to scream and sob and choke on depression.
i am 16, popular, a brilliant student, a violin prodigy (slight hyperbole), an extrovert, horror movie addict. my parents are established- “dad” has a Ph.D, mom is a retail genius. we are upper-middle class, gorgeous home. i’m an only child so they shower money on me; where else will they dump their earnings?
the question to ask, then, is: am i allowed to be so sad? why should i have the right […]
i can feel the sting as the blood trickles down my arms
i can feel the water rushing in my nose, my ears, my lungs
i can feel the rope tightening and my breath slowing down
i can feel the wind whipping past after i step off
i can feel so strongly that i sometimes feel nothing at all
Deep down I knew it all along; I knew I would relapse. I just didn’t know it would happen so soon after I started getting better. Maybe I wasn’t actually getting better? Yeah, I got a job and started doing voluntary work but my mind is still empty. For more than 2 years now it’s been 97% empty, remaining 3% were occupied by my feeling of worthlessness and grief towards life. I stopped daydreaming long time ago. Nothing interests me, nothing bothers me. I don’t think. I’m getting dumber each day and it’s showing. I’m so done.. Even meds stopped working. Sometimes I still […]
I feel so hopeless in life…it always feels like the same thing everyday, I’ve given up all hope, really what is there for me to live for the “friends” who make me feel invisible? The family who could care less about me? Everything that i loved about my life is gone i literally do nothing anymore…How could nobody notice how much i have changed in the past 4 years…depression got the best of me and I honestly don’t know if i will ever be okay again. All I want is to genuinely happy for just one day none of this fake bs anymore…
Let me introduce myself first. My name is Drew. I’m 22 years old and am currently in the Air Force. I am a very outspoken, loving person and it’s very easy for me to make new friends. But my problem is this: I don’t want to be just another blip on the radar of life… I don’t want my entire being to amount to nothing. My dad is a perfect example of this… He used to be a fun, happy man until he lost his job and his wife (my mother) several years ago. Now he is consumed with hate and regret. He has never […]
What am i supposed to do with these horrible thoughts swirling around in my mind ?
It makes me feel like im going insane. No one gets me or understands my feelings.
I used to cut myself and since ive stopped i cant seem to shake the urging want , and
need to relapse. Ive tried to tell my parents but they just kinda blew it off. Everyday i think
about killing myself in MANY different ways but something is keeping from doing it. The little
fucking voices in my head are yelling at me and saying just do it , just kill yourself there’s […]
So, I told my doctor that the voices are getting worse, and he told me to tell my psychiatrist. And I did.
What a load of bull.
She refers to the as ‘thoughts’ and ignores them. I’m sorry, but I know the difference between thoughts and voices. These are voices. And she doesn’t even do anything about them.
My mum told her I was crying to her about them, yet she still did nothing about them.
She doesn’t ‘think they’re a worry’.
I can’t even go a day in school without them being there.
I disrupt classes by yelling at them, skip classes because of them, and have had multiple days off.
My therapist forced […]
truth can only be self evident
so truth can never be impartial
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Matchbox-Twenty-20-Busted-HQ-w-Lyrics-from-YouTube.mp3
when you keep this at the forfront of your mind at all times,
you can cope with being abandoned……….this is a possibility,
an obtainable thought process…….that i havent quite walked up to yet
this is sour, just a deep well of emotion
i dont like thinking about it
every time i come here it suprises me still
how much it has taken
how much it still takes
i dont know if it was the passive way in which she gave up on me,
or how easily she did it that bothers […]
So so tired. So so tired. So so very tired.
| Be still, child. Let nothing shaken your faith. You can get through this. I will be with you.
“But am I capable? Am I worthy? Can I help? How can I help? ” alas, I am but just a wandering soul.
Fall on me and I’ll support you.
But do I trust you enough? |
I have set a new termination date, and I plan to depart next week. Hopefully this time I do not screw up and end up still alive. I feel trapped, and that I have to make this decision. Although I have been depressed and suicidal for the past seven years, I feel as though my feelings have catalyzed within the past few weeks. I’m sick and tired of always being sick and tired. Sick and tired of being a stupid, worthless,and hated burden on those that are around me. I am nothing more than a failure. I don’t […]
Do you set yourself a literal “deadline” by which you’ll go through with it if nothing changes?
I’ll give it two more years, till I turn 27. I think it’s a good time. Looking forward to seeing Avengers 3 & Star Wars Ep 7.
I was raped when I was 12, but nobody knows about it I tried telling my parents but I ended up telling them I had lied because I blammed someone for it, who wasn’t who did it, it was my grandpa who raped me and I can’t seem to bring myself into telling my parents because I know they won’t believe me and I would be judge but every day I wake up wishing I was dead praying for cancer or a brain tumor, I’ve tried suicide before but all it did was make people judge me and make me feel worst, I play happy […]
I’ve only been to one therapy session before. It was rather recent–maybe two or so weeks ago. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. I made the appointment in a moment of desperation (I tried to interact with a person and it didn’t exactly work out). I though that instead of crying and cutting over it, I would be appropriate and handle my porcelain emotions carefully and not break myself. As soon as I called to make the appointment, I found out that I had to wait like 3 weeks. I lost it after I hung up and ended up cutting myself, […]
It is amazing how life can fall out of grasp within a blink of an eye. It is like yesterday that I was happy and carefree with the world shinning brightly before me. However, it is not yesterday, it is today and today I feel as if there is nothing for me. The world is not mine for the taking and the Sun has disappeared completely. I’m sad, I’m lonely and I fear it will never get better. Maybe life isn’t for everybody because I may be breathing but inside I’m suffocating. Life shouldn’t be this hard. Living has simply turned into surviving and I […]
I think I am going to do it this week. I won’t say how but too be honest i have tried everything to fix myself and nothing works. The woman I love so dearly has given up on me and our friendship because I can’t stop seeing another woman that gives me nothing, it’s all my fault and I feel as though I’m drowning every day. My uni work is piling and piling and piling and regardless that I graduate in a few months time it’s not enough to keep me going.
I never used to be depressed. I was so happy at one stage in […]
Fight your enemy.
First destroy his heart,all he loves, and all who love him back.
Next destroy his mind and philosophies.
Finally, cripple him with a single shot.
Now I lay in a state of nothing.
I am dead yet alive for I have defeated my ene-me.
I wish I didn’t feel the physical effects of depression. Lethargy is the worst–you can’t do anything and yet you can’t tell anyone why you can’t do anything. This entire weekend I’ve done nearly nothing, but why should I do anything anyway? All of our existences are inherently meaningless, our lives will end and we will all be Nothing. Truly, nothing in this life actually matters at all. And yet we go about as though we have a purpose (well, most people do anyway, I suppose people like me do not) and believe that life is beautiful and sacred when it isn’t. Life is just […]