so i tried killing myself for the fifth time yesterday…but did it work? no. it never does. i guess in a way im glad it didnt work…i dont like to hurt people(on the off chance that it would hurt someone). but i cant help but wish that it did work. i dont know, maybe i should just stop trying….i just am afraid to live.
Tag:
Off Chance
I’ve felt this way for a while now. I’m an atheist. I considered myself christian for a while but decided it wasnt for me. I’ve never really had anything against people who believe in god but I never understood why they did really. Now though, now I just cant take it anymore. I’m so sick and tired of hearing about people giving god credit for their acheivements and blaming the devil for their misfortunes. That shit is absolute tripe. Where do all the good things come from? luck. Where do all the bad things come from? luck. Luck is the reason for everything. People like […]
I never thought things would come to this… but here I am, writing.
At age 25 I found out that I had to have urgent open heart surgery to replace my aortic valve. I was in 60% heart failure without even knowing it and could have died at any time. I had the procedure done, and am alive and kicking… though I opted for a tissue valve (so I could enjoy a higher quality of life) and was told that it would only last roughly ten years. It is now three years later, I just turned 28, and post-traumatic stress disorder finally kicked in. I moved […]