having a pleasant time high, home alone. i usually have better insight into me and my “distorted” thinking when i am under the influence. major insight of the day-i like being alone too much. i am having a hard time tolerating people. if i am around people i have to talk. and be fairly pleasant. after awhile i can’t keep the facade up-takes too much energy. easier if i just keep my mouth shut and smile. it has gotten to the point where i watch tv with the sound off. i read the subtitles. the chatter, the noise grates on me. what is going on […]
Tag:
Old Boyfriend
Yesterday I went for a walk, somehow I felt a little better. I saw some horses and watched them for awhile. Walked in the rain, but it felt good, at least it made me feel. But last night I looked on the internet and there is so much – so much of the opposite of what I’ve always thought was beautiful. Gentleness, tenderness, sweetness, paintings that move you deep inside, someone that would help a neighbor, little children being allowed to be innocent, dreams, words that carry weight, words that mean something. I start to think I wish something had happened to me awhile ago, […]
hey everyone, i recently got back together with my old boyfriend, i never really got over him… watching what he does in class, caring when he gets a new girlfriend i really liked him but i made a stupid mistake and i ended the relationship… but now we are back together and i feel happy again, but all some of my friends are acting really disaproving of me with him (he sort of does a bunch of illegal stuff) but i love him so fuck them
I ran away from my home, in Austin, at 15 to my 16 year-old boyfriend’s house in Dallas. I left behind my family, my friends, and everything I had known in my life on a whim for someone I’d known for a month. He convinced me that my life at home was dangerous because of my dad’s abusive past and I’d be better off with him. To me, he was everything, he was my world. I knew for a fact I couldn’t live without him now that I had him. I was addicted, consumed. I didn’t make it to Dallas, however. A police officer found […]