I just realized I went the entire day accidentally wearing my shirt wrong-side-out.
OMG.
I think I wore a jacket for most of the day, so hopefully nobody noticed.
I am losing my mind.
Tag:
Omg
BEFORE CONTINUING ON MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING AND I’M NOT RECOMMENDING ANYONE TO RESORT TO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have been over consumed with death and suicide. I have been dealing with big upcoming decisions and stress. Also I have been suffering with a huge increase of panic and anxiety attacks. I do goto counseling and take meds daily. I am diagnosed with borderline personality disorder along with both mood and anxiety disorders.
I have been using my coping skills and yes they work, however it wasn’t enough. I have been exhibiting manic symptoms even though I’m not bipolar.
As a teenager I used to dabble in cutting and self mutilating, […]
Everyone in their happy-go-lucky lives ran into me today. “OMG x and I are getting married!”, “I am so excited, I’m going to be a mom in 6 weeks!”, “We’re going away to Rarotonga in a few weeks.” Ugh.
Meanwhile I spent an evening lying on my shower floor crying.
I’ve been scared of adding more pain for so long. But I finally decided that I had to do something. So I tried cutting tonight. Â Omg! I’m not happy, but I’m so much better… I could control this pain. Â I can have something that I can control… I just idk…
I don’t know what to do. I’m writing this and it’s all so sketchy. There are days I’m not paranoid and then there are days where I question if I should trust the world and my loved ones. I’m just a fucked up statement of life. I hate life and everything it consists of. I don’t wanna see the sun shining and the clouds passing by. I don’t wanna see the grass and the food we eat that in the majority is micro-processed. I feel so burdened with my thoughts, for they consume me entirely. I am not me anymore, I am a […]
Omg, like I’m mad paranoid. I’m paranoid to even be writing this right now. I feel like everyone is against me. Like my life is the Truman Show. I struggle and misery is my best friend, it’s like after awhile you enjoy the pain. A sort of frenzy begins to happen. I’m just really in a dark place. I feel like music is talking to me and sending me subliminals from my boyfriend. This happened before with someone else I cared for. It’s like I’m getting all these subliminals and signs from everything. I’m always freaking out and no one knows. No one […]
Omg!!!! Today Vyas (#My.Crush)Â looked at me and kept looking at me multiple times… I am exited because he looked at me in a way that didnt mean he was mad at me (well um.. he wouldnt get mad at me becuase he has never talked to me before)… it meant he was just calm and just wanted to see my face (i…guess)
Why people let people die?:o WHY? They see someone cuttin himself. ”Its for attention” The this guy dies. ”Omg omg omg I loved him please God bring him back”. . Are you kiddin me?-.- People are so afraid to face people who self harms and they dont give a damn cause they want to protect themselves!
Someone said to me ”GO DIE suicide retarded”… Does he really want this?o.o
last year i was diagnosed with anorexia, i fought it but things have got worse. i told two people about it and they helped, but now my best friend at school, ditches me for some skank, and i was crying because i hate my skin, i hate being in this body. and i left the class, and the skank started making it about her, omg this, omg that, she jealous of me and blah blah, so i hated the way she did that, and when im crying im just thinking about suicide. this has happened for the last 2 days, and now my so called […]
omg, so the ***** and i r home alone, she tells me to do HER chores. well i did them for her the past 3weeks im tired of it. so i said no then she threatened to beat me with the belt,so i tore it out of her hands and pushed her to the ground. she screamed “ABUSER ABUSER!”and called 911!!! omfg! ***** r u fucking stupid. luckily nothing happened but still she is so stupid. well yeah i hate her. think shes an angel? hang around her. she is a *****. SHE IS SATANS ***** DAUGHTER. she can go to hell. its her home.
My Life Just Needs To End…
 Well I’m 16 now but 4 1/2 half years ago my life started to change… For the worst.
 It was my 8th grade year I was so excited to grow up and be a “teenager” I knew a lot of people but didn’t have many friends I kinda kept to myself and my sister got me into weed so I thought I was the only one who smoked at my school. I kept it a secret from even my Bestfriend at a time… But then I met this girl and her name was Alex omg she was amazing she became closer […]
I’m crazy, I must be crazy. Out of the blue I took a pen and sticky note and wrote “Hey, I like you. and this is crazy, but here’s my love note, so prom….maybe?” on it, then stuck it to the locker of the girl I want to ask out to prom. WHY DID I DO THAT?
I don’t know what to think, but I did it, it’s done, and nobody can erase it now…unless I somehow get to her locker before she does, open it up, take it off, and hide it before anyone can see? But that won’t work. No. I have to get […]
I was cleaning out mygarage today and I found my gneuss, I found my bottles of vodka, older antifreeze that is possible to digest, and I can still smell exhaust in there… I parked my gmc van in the garage closed the door of course and fired it up… This was the windiest night I could ever remember… I was drunk of course, and I fired up an extendo blunt of kush (2 blunts put together)… This van had a blown manifold intake gasket, so it had alot of thick white exhaust… I started to get lightheaded, and felt a CRAZY headache coming on, I […]
Where am i?
Groggy and disorientated! Scared, no…Terrified! Lost! Alone! Â Iv’e disappeared into a bottomless pit of desperate pessimism.
I find myself lying on the floor, naked. The room is a mess. The abstract paintings on the wall are askew and there’s glass sprinkled like dangerous confetti all over the carpet. My head is throbbing to unknown injuries and my thoughts are incoherent. I’m having difficulty remembering where i should be and how i got to be here. Is that electricity sparking between the lights? What’s going on?
Where did Vicky go? I needed her and she was here. I spoke to her and the others, Warren? Jackie? […]