Your voice was the only thing that could calm me down. When I was on the bathroom floor with a bottle of pills and a cold blade in my hand, you were there. You called me and just hearing your voice made me relax and breath. You changed me but you left. I have no idea who i am anymore or what my purpose is. Im lost without you by my side. I cry everyday at the thought that i wont be hearing your voice before i fall asleep. I wont be hearing your voice when i wake up. I wont be getting any sweet […]
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My life is a downtrodden groundhogs day.
I wake up every morning with a varying degree of hope and slowly pull myself out of bed. I turn on my computer, if it isn’t already on to charge my phone overnight, and my monitor then venture into the kitchen for a fresh cup of water. I like water. Fortunate I suppose, I know most people don’t. I could gladly skip juices and soft drinks for a steady supply of water. A fresh sip splashes my mind and cools my senses. Today isn’t so bad, I think to myself. If I’m hungry I’ll peer into the fridge and […]
I’ve been fighting with my lover often lately and today he said that it might be best for us if he pulled the plug. The reason why I’ve been fighting with him is because I’m a complicated stupid *****. I don’t know what to do anymore. I wish I could change and I’m trying so hard, but it doesn’t work. The idea of killing myself came across my mind a few times and now it’s here more than ever. I need him right now, but he’s not here. I’ve been drinking and hurting myself … I wish I had the strength to stab myself … […]
I don’t know how long I can keep doing this for. I had planned my suicide for last Tuesday but I got really drunk on Monday and told my auntie so my mum took me to hospital. Now everyone’s pretending like it didn’t happen. I have my exams in less than a week and it’s just another insignificant thing on top of everything else. Although it isn’t a priority teachers and college in general are making me feel lazy and stupid. I wish I could just end it now, go to sleep and never wake it. I’m not scared or upset that I want to die anymore, […]