I worked so hard to get to where I am, despite family background and chronic illness, I somehow made it this far. I have my family and friends mostly to thank for that, along with a will power I thought would never die. My illness already put me on leave half a year and now Im back in my Phd program and it feels like everyone is against me at every turn, including my body. I’m mostly better now except for the nerve pain. I cant believe I couldn’t eat for a whole year. It baffles me that Ive been through this. It’s not easier […]
Tag:
Pain Medicine
I’m mildly obsessed with the idea of taking my life.
Almost any way possible if I can do it semi-passively. It’s almost ironic that I’m no longer afraid of heights because I’d like to fall from them. Right now, I’d like to go back downstairs and take the knife and start writing in my skin with blood. Conquer my fear of pain as well.
And I’d jut cut and cut and cut.
And if I accidentally let too much blood flow out? All the better.
Lately I’ve been trying to deal with food. I’ve been forgetting to eat every now and then and eating things with barely any calories […]