I thought about it again. Taking all my pills at once. About cutting, Mum is slamming me again and my sister cant stop finding out my flaws. The kids at school just can’t stop after they saw me flirting with Mary. I want it all to end. I don’t want to let Her down but I feel hopeless. I feel like there’s something wrong with me. I feel like something isn’t right with me. Maybe I’m just paranoid though. My grades are slipping and I’m trying to keep them up. I have to get all A’s. Otherwise homelife is more like life in Hell. I […]
Tag:
paranoid
It is hot and sunny out. 12:30pm. I hate feeling this way when it looks like that outside. When it’s daylight. Feeling suicidal in the sense that it’s more comforting to think about suicide then it is to think about how awful and worthless I am, but I’m not sure I would actually attempt something.
I got a new job. A real job. Real money. Real benefits. I should be ecstatic right now…and I was yesterday. So much so that my head was completely spinning with lists. Things I need to do. Things I need to buy. Things I need to be. Spin spin spin. I […]
3 o clock in the mourning,about to fall completely sleep when the shadow of a man walks through my bedroom,he walks and walks for minutes,a big shadow,scary as shit,dont talks or makes any noises,just walks for minutes.I am too scare to shout,my body is completely paralized,as if the venom of the black spider dances through my blood,what if that spectral shadow is evil,i watch it for minutes just walkin,paranoid like if he is waiting or searching for someone,then the worst part of the ritual that starts at least one day per moth starts.The entity sits in my bed right beside my feet and starts to […]
Hiya for who ever has reads this. My problem has been going on for nearly 9 years now, out of a 7 day , say 3 to 2 days am happy full of life,loud making jokes,love my girlfriend full of trust , then for next 4 days am down in dumps don’t want to get out of bed,moody,paranoid,want to kill my self this has been going on for years and iv never been for help (and don’t plan to) but a came across this site and was wondering if any one has symptoms and can help ?
Id just cut both of my arms they burn its hot theres blood its burning the only reason i did it was becuz of him….he has a party hosted n there girlz who dnt respect a relationship, im scared to Kno what is going on….im crying scared worried paranoid, uploads pics of him n money lik no tht not CUTE n then of bottles n bottles of liquor, it just worries me n i wanna let him kno but then i dnt wanna ruin his night. He pinky promise he wasnt ginna drink o smoke n i hope it stays lik tht
I spend a lot of time thinking about the future. Wondering of ill travel the world, make it in broadway, get married and have kids, or give up  before I get the chance.
I wonder what what it is inside of me that makes my body ache and makes my mind fill up with hate. I don’t know how to stop it. I know that I should probably get help. Tell a parent. But in reality if I tell them all that goes on in my head they’ll send me away because “I’m a danger to myself.” And I wouldn’t be able to handle that. I […]
Things are getting crazy here.It’s too dangerous.We can’t trust anyone, people are driving me mad.I think I’m completely insane.Take a look at them, they’re everywhere!.Look at them, looking at me, filling my mind with paranoid thoughts.Talking about their stupid lives, talking about me.Whispers.Pretending to be nice with me.Pretending they do care…
They try to fool me, saying I’m cool and my life is worth living.Lucky me.I know the truth.It’s sad but it’s the truth.I’m planning to get the cooking gas tank, inhale and IT’S OVER!…they don’t know.
Can I trust myself? ….
…
Things are getting really really crazy…
I used to come on here all the time.
I’ve been, “fine” for a year now. Occasionally cutting & testing how many tablets I can take until I throw up. I lie to my CAMHs worker (councillor) about being okay.
I am fat & ugly. After years of abuse I don’t know how I lasted this long. A-levels are too difficult due to how depressed I am.
Now, I have taken a handful of sleeping tablets. I will take more.
Now, I’m going to take my own life.
I’m not sure why I’m writing this, maybe to distract myself from how I feel, depressed, light headed, paranoid, & my eyes […]
I’m feeling so down. All I want to do is laying in my bed, sleeping, crying and cutting. I know I have to go to therapy every monday till friday from 9 am till 3 pm, but I really don’t want to do ANYTHING right now. I’m getting more scared and paranoid every day. Getting scared that someone is following me, or wants to steal my bag or purse. That kind of stupid things. I want to evade them, so I stay inside as much as possible. But the only thing I really want besides wanting to die, is just laying in my bed, sleeping, […]
Older Posts