hey just an intro, Iam a girl and Iam 18. its been a while since ive talked to someone about all these feelings ive been getting lately. Iv been sad for such a long time now, its been years since I felt truly happy, and it really saddens me cuz I actually want to get better but I just cant, I hate this feeling of not knowing where I stand in life, I see all my friends go to college, get married, move on with their lives and I am over here crippled, not knowing what to do. The pain started off as emotional but […]
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Not going to lie.. It’s been a strange, strange week… So I guess I’ll start with a little back-story.
I’ve always found it difficult to make friends because.. well before they’re friends, they’re strangers. And I can’t speak to strangers. It’s just always been a thing with me… I know what you’re thinking. Just another awkward teen… But that’s the thing. I’m awkward with my friends…  Strangers are just downright unbearable. Just the mere thought of talking to someone I don’t know can send me spiralling into a major panic attack. I can’t order food, taxis, return broken items because I’m afraid that I’ll have to explain […]
I’m still alive and I do good things, Help people, I donate time and money to good causes, I have a part time job. I want to be finished. Why cant I be happy or content. I’m still alive this is weird. Its gotta be almost my time to go.
Unlike the majority of people think, suicide is not for the cowards.We know it requires strengh and bravery.I’m so weak and exhausted, I couldn’t even pull a trigger or take some poison X_X.I spent the last week oon the bed, I can barely stand to brush my teeth.I dunno, I think the worst part of it all is that since the last year I’ve been thinking : “Today I’ll commit suicide!”.I got everything I need, but I STILL don’t have enough courage.My life sucks and I’m still here, there’s something wrong with me, I think I’d better avoid this suffering.And everybody here is so sick […]
I’m not sure if I really want to die.
I think about it. Killing myself, I mean. It’s not healthy. I know that, but I still do it. I hurt myself, even though the logical part of me says, “Stop!”. That part of me tells me to get help, to talk to someone. But, the other parts of me, the scared, lonely, and tired parts of me, they say not to. That it’s better that they don’t know.
I don’t want to hurt the people I care about by showing them all the messed up screws in me.
I don’t want them to see all […]
TLDR: 20+ years old, moved abroad to meet online friends, did something silly and now debating whether or not to leave cause I’m happy as fuck here but if I go home (and make the people here happy) I’ll spiral back down.
Hi everyone, first post. I’ve read this forum for months while trying to constantly claw myself back up from rock bottom, and I thought I did (temporarily) until I came into this problem.
I’m in my early 20s and moved across the world to be a nanny. I was studying at home, working, and just felt like a drone. I had met a few friends […]
I cannot stand to be a part of this.
Funny how the idea of attaining a single, semi-lasting lover-Â of true feeling- would immediately curb the romantic fantasy that I’ve of death.
I plan to hang from a tree in late May.
fucking crappy ass friends i have. so this is how it is i decided to bring to of my friends to this band cncert thing cause i wanted to spend time with them. My other friend who is my ex, so is the one i was taking, want to go along so i said ok so i was going to buy another one. when i told them they were like if hes going then im not. i got so pissed that i said something i regreted i said fine i dont need you guys for anything anyways. this part i regret but this part i […]
I’m so tired of this life. I’ve never felt comfortable in any situation and I seemingly can’t make anything work. I never feel like a normal person, never have. Even if by some miracle things are good, I find a way to destroy it just by being my uncomfortable self. I’ve done this so many times that now I’m just too tired to try.
I haven’t worked in more time than I’d like to admit. I’m 35, will be 36 at the end of the month, and I still rely on someone else to support me because I just can’t bring myself to face another rejection. […]
I do it because I have so much mental pain, I need to find a way to make it physical and get it out. So I abuse my body. I used to think I’d just do a few cuts here and there when I felt really bad, but now I do it almost every day, anywhere from10-200 at a time. It has taken over my life. I feel weird typing it; like, part of me is saying “no it hasn’t, you still have a life” but another part is saying “you’ve finally admitted to it”. I don’t know. I know this sounds stupid, but there’s […]
1. Would you leave a suicide note? Why or why not?
2. Any interesting suicide notes you have read?
Answer 1: Personally since I plan to just “disappearâ€, there will be no suicide note from me. But if for some reason my plan changes, I still don’t think I’d leave a note. Well, maybe some sort of encrypted note, that would lead whoever decodes it on a wild goose chase to another encrypted note, then another, then another, until the last note is something like; “Congrats! This has been as pointless as my life!â€
Answer 2: I’ve read Heisman’s and Manley’s. Actually, I didn’t read all of Heisman’s. Read […]
well damn everything is falling in place now. i had some really bad troubles with ppl. and life and things have been really hard for me lately. to where i thought i really had no part in this world. but im moving i have a new guy im talking to and having fun with friends and stuff. life just threw me a curve ball. but it got back straight.
Well, this is my story. My first attempt to suicide when i was 16+. My true suffering when i started my IGCSE studies at the age of 15. According to my seniors, it was a year that supposedly has no room for fun and games. So i studied and really put in a lot of effort to work smart. Unfortunately, i was disadvantaged due to the fact of not having friends to support you when you need them the most and having a family that ask’s too much of results from you not knowing that they hurt you psychologically and physically. Meaning physically by the […]
Came across this forum while researching things related to suicide and the reasoning behind it. I’ve had a good life, and I’m still young with lots of potential but things seem to just keep piling on, the puzzle pieces never quite fitting together. Last night I had it in my mind that it was the night I was going to see what was on the other side because whether it’s better or worse it should at least be different. The one sad thought I have is that I always wanted my death to count for something, to either give my life for someone else or […]
Every single day I am closer to my death.
Now this may sound natural to all of you.
But preparing your noose isn’t.
Preparation for death isn’t natural.
We weren’t made to accept death so why has my mind told me that I can now?
I prayed for strength – instead I got open wounds along my arms.
I asked for forgiveness – instead I got abandoned by the people I love the most.
Everybody knows that I am just one bad day away from suicide.
The worst part?
They’ve thrown me into the past.
RIP Me.
May my […]
…when everyone wants a Mountain.
Being a Foggy Mist, when everyone wants a Flood.
Becoming a Flood, when everyone wants Sunshine.
Becoming Sunshine, when everyone wants The Night.
Becoming The Night, when everyone wants The Dream.
Striving to become The Dream, but becoming The Reality.
Realizing The Reality is made of the act of flowing through the stream of striving to appease ever changing requirements…
To become The Mountain no River could ever Be.
Everyone wanted a Mountain to Climb, but all i could ever do was Be Water, and flow down, to ultimately be absorbed into, and washed away by, The River of Deceit… and to eventually be deposited into the Sea, […]
When I’m sad or angry I usually hear to my favorite songs in my room, and I cry a lot.Each one means something to me (please don’t judge me for my preferences)
Safe and sound – Taylor Swift
I knew you were trouble – Taylor Swift
You make me wanna die – The pretty reckless
My medicine – The pretty reckless
Kill me – The pretty reckless
Miss nothing – The pretty reckless
Recharge e revolt – The raveonettes
I hate everything about you – Three days grace
Back to black – Amy winehouse
Stronger than me – Amy winehouse
Wake up alone – Amy winehouse
I am not very good at this anymore but I didn’t know what else to do so here goes. I have spent the better part of the last 15 years thinking about suicide everyday. When I was young I actually attempted it a time or two. I used to talk about it, I used to write poetry and letters to deal with it, until one day it all blew up in my face. My “friends” Who “understood” all of a sudden didn’t anymore, my parents tried to have me committed, and my poems and letters were used against me. It all went to hell in […]
Why is depression such a relationship killer? If I want a successful relationship am I just supposed to hide the depression completely? Past experience has shown me that this seems to be the only option. The problem being is that as you start getting comfortable around someone the shiny façade starts to slip and reveals the ugliness underneath.
I’ve tried letting them know ahead of time. That I suffer from depression. For the most part the meds manage it, but there will days where it gets through. “Sureâ€, they say, “everybody gets down once and while, no worries.†But when they actually see it, they learn that it’s […]
It’s hard to go through sadness and helplessness etc. I sometimes wish that I can’t feel emotions at all but that takes out the basic part of being human.
If given the choice, would you rather not feel emotions (to prevent feeling pain)?