When they fought, I chose not to fight.
When they cried, I thought there is respite.
Amidst the squibbles and squabbles of life,
My kindly nature kept me rife.
But then came doubt I did my self.
I did my nature, I did my health.
I doubted everything I felt,
And on I went to change my self.
I tried to turn the course of the stream.
Not knowing I was only killing a dream,
Of little joys and a profound realm,
On I went on a broken whelm,
For other dreams were going to be at helm.
I had walked too far still mind […]
How do i change my profile picture on here ?
So I’ve done something that I’m not proud of at all. Being a Christian makes it worse. It also makes me a phony.
Ive been caught for doing this once before. Once I get a hold on internet connection, there is no limits for me. I get out of control, obsessed and desperate. It’s embarrassing for me really.
I went on something called ‘Meowchat’ and I started talking to some guy. He asked for dirty talk, and I gave it to him. I got nothing out of it, really. He then asked for nudes. I said ‘no’.
I sort of pressured me into sending one picture to him, […]
The thing with my look is that it is nerdy but something worse than that. I look fucking retarded that someone could stare at my face and burst out laughing. And it happens. Many times in fact. I get discriminated against SO badly by teachers alot and other people. You can probably say that no, everyone looks beautiful, I think you look okay blah blah. No mine isnt just ugly. I have a severely downward slanting mouth when my face it resting. My eyes are the worst. It is uneven one is upward slanting while the other is upward slanting. I cant even smile properly, […]
When i was six i was molested by my cousin went i was seven all my cousins and brothers where involved then i was raped at 15 on my birthday while growing up with an abusive family i met a boy i fell for him was faithful while he wasnt and he turned to beating me. I have no family no friends and am about to loose my home because some jerk photo shopped a picture a nudy one and posted it all over fb… i no longer want to try fight or anything… i just wanna die im alone and i was always told […]
I will NEVER love myself. I can’t ever picture myself being confident or happy with who I am and happy with how I look. I hate every single thing about myself. I hate my eyes, I hate my hair, I hate my nose, my mouth, my chest, my body, my legs, everything. I hate everything. I can’t even live with myself at this point. I honestly can not picture ever being okay with myself, so if I’m going to live such a miserable life, why am I even alive?
I am so sorry. I know I should not have done it, but I couldn’t live like this anymore. It’s nothing anybody did. It’s all my fault. I love you guys, I love everyone in my life, but the pain I’ve been going through is just to much and I can’t picture myself ever getting better or happy again. Thank you for everything you have done. It really did stick and it did mean something. I just can’t continue on living the way I was feeling. I love you all so much and I am so sorry, I really am. I have to do this, It’s […]
I don’t know what the hell’s going on. I’m on Prozac, 20 mg/day. I don’t do alcohol or drugs or anything. I’m not even that depressed right now. But I’m seeing things…at first these things weren’t too scary, just a little annoying, like Gingy would steal my pencils and hide them. But now Gingy’s rabid. Whenever he shows up I lock myself in the bathroom. He can’t get in the bathroom because that’s where I was conceived.
What the hell am I supposed to do? He brought some of his friends, they’re outside…the doors are locked, my dad’s at work…it’s tough to even focus on school […]
Can I post a picture of an old si? Solely for the purpose of hoping it might stop someone else?
It’s viral, this spiral
That threatens our survival
Take a picture for the road
We’ll say cheese and smile
Yea, we’re versatile
We’ll give you what you want
And we’ll make it seem worthwhile
Denial, our wile
We make it a lifestyle
Take it hook, line, and sinker
And then praise us for our guile
We’re liars, expired
Somebody start a fire
The only thing that’s left for us
Is burning on a pyre
Yea, we know it’s dire
And still, it’s what we want
Are you scared of our desire?
In this mire, we’re tired
Beginning to perspire
The only ones who hear us now
Are partners to conspire
It’s dust, skin rust
Our spirit’s outer crust
It’s really only flesh and bone
Who cares if we combust?
Yea, we […]
“If a picture paints a thousand words, then why can’t I paint you?”
– Bread
I Fucking hate you. I really do. Because I can’t tell you what goes on in my head. I can’t. If I told you that I can picture myself painting the most beautiful mural I’ve ever seen as I splatter someone’s brain across a wall, youd never speak to me again. Youd never see me the same. If I told you that I love you in the same breath, you would fucking hate me. But it’s only natural to hate a sociopath. Right? […]
You don’t have to make your breathing stop to be actually dead. There’s this self-therapy to make you go bat-shit insane. You’ll laugh and cry until the two blur together like an ugly blur of paint colors and you won’t be able to paint a picture, no, but you’ll be able to rot in the trash. No one wants grey paint
Go to sleep and scare yourself. It works. Lucid dreaming. Frighten yourself to the point of numbness
Have you ever stared in the mirror for too long? That pale fleshy creature morphs into something twisted and grey and demonic, hollow, empty, dead!!! And yet alive…..
Last night […]
Hoy me vuelvo a sentir como una foto en la pared y no respiro para no hacer ruido.
(I feel again today like a picture on a wall and i don’t breathe so i don’t make any noise.)
Funny, she once said to me that I must have an incredible life. She used to listen to me when I rambled on about traveling here and traveling there – she was young and I wore the mask well. Once again I was reminded that people really don’t know – the space between us is too grand. I was a hero to her and a joke to myself – I feared that if we hung out much longer she would see that I was just roadkill. How worldly was I – my well being hung on a thread at the corner of her smile. So […]
my medication stopped working, and i’m feeling suicidal again, i’ve had a problem with cutting for years now, but its gotten alot worse recently, does anybody have any good coping skills that aren’t, that read a book, draw a picture, love yourself, therapist crap?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SGDHfcZVOg
Here, it’s his little brother and sister but it could be your mom, your dad, your friend, your husband or your wife. I know how hard life can be and how desesperate a person can be but what you’ve heard on this video is the reason why I’m still staying in this shitty world. A suicide is the most personal of all things and you don’t need to involve other peoples, peoples you love. I’m not trying to stop you but just remember that even if you’re dead, the world still spining and on it, you will be nothing but a dead body and I don’t think […]
Been a while since i’ve been on, and boy does it feel nice to be here again.
Things have changed so quickly, it’s all hard to deal with some times. There’s too much going on right now. If anyone could give me advice i’d be greatful.
Now I live with my mom and siblings, stepdad is finally out of the picture (yay!) but as great as that is, it means the moneys out of the picture too. My mom has been unemployed since we moved here and hasn’t thought about about finding another job. We’re barely scraping by and everytime I bring it up to my mom […]
Hi!
I got a new phone and need new music to listen too. Please recommend some songs that you like! Any type of music is fine.
Can anyone relate to the picture? Please comment!
I truly do not understand the point of my life.. for a long time now I haven’t been able to picture a future. Like I don’t have one, like I’m meant to die young. But I just recently found out that that is actually a symptom of my ptsd. Which was kind of disappointing because it doesn’t change the fact that I still don’t see my living past a few years and honestly I’d rather not. I don’t want to live anymore. I’ve been feeling like that for years and the more time goes on the more intense it feels. I do not see a […]