Dust
Footprint
Reminder
Behind is a trace
It is a grey color
In its place I take a step
I watch as the sun rises now
Everytime I try to write a poem it just ends up being depressing, I wrote a depressing poem and tried to make it more positive by ending it with a good message but others aren’t so pleasant:
Some people don’t know the truth,
But I’ve uncovered the proof.
The world out there sucks,
It’s evil, cruel and vicious
Life is a malicious *****.
You must believe me
I’ve suffered the pain
And felt my work was all in vain
I have had depression
It attacks your mind with great aggression
The little words you speak,
They keep breaking me, making me grow weak.
I don’t want to die
During the day my smile hides my feelings,
at night they come out,
that dull, empty feeling,
consumes me.
The urges come back,
my mind wonders.
How can you be so sad,
when no one has a clue,
I’m the master of disguise,
My feelings are my shadow,
my black cape I hide behind.
The darkness is death – we can speak, but we are not heard. We can scream but they turn their backs. We can run, but we cannot catch them. It is the dream where arms and legs won’t work they way they should, and the air is too thick to breathe. Loved ones walk a mile ahead, forgetting to stop as we fall behind. This is the reality of the darkness. We are buried alive inside ourselves. ”
– Dana-Christene Umanetz
I think a lot about killing myself. Not like a point on a map, but rather like a glowing exit sign at a show that’s never been quite bad enough to make me wanna leave. See, when I’m up I don’t kill myself because holy shit- there is SO much left to do. And when I’m down I don’t kill myself because then the sadness would be over, and the sadness is my old paint under the new. The sadness is the house fire or the broken shoulder, I’d still be me without it, but I’d be so boring. – Neil Hilborn, “The Future”
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Yiruma-Moon-Light.mp3
I’m tired. I’m just tired.
I’m tired of food. I’m tired of television. I’m tired of work. I’m tired of school. I’m tired of going outside. . I’m tired.
Anytime someone asks how I am, my answer isn’t “I’m fine”
The answer is “I’m tired”
I’ve lost any shred of hope that I might of had. And I don’t see the point.
And the funny thing? I’m tired…but I can’t sleep.
I guess I’m not physically tired. I’m mentally and emotionally tired.
I don’t know what to do with my life anymore.
I don’t feel like going anywhere. I don’t feel like talking.
I seriously […]
This feeling of numbness takes over,
Emotions no longer exist,
No happy, no sad, no scared and no mad,
And the numbness I cannot resist.
It follows me around like a shadow,
It’s dark and gloomy and dull,
Like a storm cloud hovering over my head,
And the huge world around me makes me feel small.
Living is a struggle that cannot be compared,
And everyday things are complex,
But I manage to get around and do things I love,
Though to do them are difficult projects.
Day by day and night by night,
The numbness never leaves,
Depression is hard and it weighs me […]
you come
crying
and eating
growing
your halo of gold
i take it
i steal you away chil’
to my palace
in the darkness
i shape you
molded clay
becoming
red and black
devil chil’
you are mine
now go
out into the sun
into the moonlight
break them chil’
tear them
kill their babies
poison their water
burn their crops
break the glass
shattering
make them crumble
give them
infernal fire
watch
as they turn to ash
go forth chil’
leave your chocolate behind
and become the devil
this world will end
you are
darkness
my creation
burn them all
I found these well going through the documents on my Ipad… Â I know they probably aren’t any good so I just decided to post them on here, at least then I’ll be using them for something. Â Again, sorry if they are total crap I wrote them when I was really upset and struggling and yeah…
When I’m Alone
When your around, my face is empty of emotion
When they surround me, I only show the lies that they want to hear
When I’m alone?
When I’m alone is when the truth comes out
When I’m alone the tears last forever
When I’m alone the darkness never ends
When I’m alone I’m weak
When I’m […]