These thoughts might be just temporary. They might not be. But I’m really mad. So what’s the point of living if I’m just doomed to be under my annoying ass parents for a very big chunk of my life that matters to me? Here’s the thing I have these really big ideas to become more and more independent from them but they won’t let me go through with them. They think they know better than me but they don’t. They think I have no idea what I’m talking about but that’s a load of bullshit. I’d rather take away my own life then be with […]
Tag:
point
¿What’s the point of having me at your feet?  If my today, my tomorrow lost the battle of your yesterday.
Here I am, once again, depressed. Reality finally caught me and punched me hard in the face. But this time, I have nobody to talk about it. I’m so complicated, people get sick and tired of me. I mean, people don’t really care for me. And when there’s someone who actually does, I wish that person didn’t. It’s stupid isn’t it? I need help, but I push aside everyone who tries to help. And I say “tries” because I’m such a fucking mess and I’m the only one who understands myself, and still, I can’t figure out who am I. And if I can’t figure […]
I seem to be going nowhere in life, just down hill, depression has robbed me of the little amount of get up and go I once had, I just wish I wasn’t here anymore.
Im almost 42 yrs of age my career was that of a soldier. Life has never been easy for one reason or another. Now at a point of what I feel there may be no return from.
Lately i haven’t been able to keep a good morale at home with my parents. Ever since I have started trailing of in school my parents have done nothing but tear me down. I tend to forget the last time I heard something positive from them. I have attempted suicide twice during the moments my grades have been going down. No one is here for me. I have lately even began questioning my religion. Whats the point of living if there is nothing to live for? What is there to look forward to tomorrow? More depression? Or nothing at all? I’m just tired of living […]
Words mean nothing anymore
I guess I’m done with this war
realised there is no point anymore
Dear burning sensation in my heart
you fade with my emotions while we part
I just can’t save this
you caught me in this abyss
Drag me down dear agony
it’s what you do
burn me to the bone dear sorrow
where did you go, my new tomorrow
I see you death as you draw me near and haunt
my soul at night, the way you like to […]
I came across this site a long time ago when I was going through a rough patch, and the url has always remained in the back of my mind. Those dark days were then pushed out by a new precence in my life – would you believe it, a girl. She gave me my strength back, and I became totally dependent on her, she made me happy, despite being unfaithful, unappreciative and generally all round nasty when she’d been drinking. I spent everything I earned in an attempt to make her happy, to the point that i’m now £5500 in debt.
She’s gone now, completely cut […]
Being at home became far too painful. It’s an excruciating thing to watch the home life the brought you up for sixteen years, that was your safe place – rot away in front of your very own eyes. And I did what I’m best at – I pushed it away. I didn’t let it defeat me, I refused to let it drag me down.
I would wake at 5 AM just to get some peace from the chaos. I would leave my house for school at 5:30 AM and would walk – along the edge of the cliffs, along the beach for hours on the […]
I never thought I would end up on someplace like this. I never wanted to die before. But my life changed, and I did nothing to deserve any of it. I spend my while day asking, “Why me? What did I do?” My brother killed himself in front of me. And I loved him. He was my world I always looked up to him, but after a night of partying I guess he decided he couldn’t take it. And just like that, he was gone. I don’t want to live without him.
That was a year ago.
I thought I would get happy but I’m not. What’s […]
people say that writing about how upset i am would help. but it doesn’t help because my dad finds my journal and reads them. i haven’t written down my feelings in over 3 years. i want to write my feelings down. i want help. but my dad just tells me to suck it up. that i’m not really depressed. people say to ask for help. but whats the point of asking for help if nobody listens no matter how loud you are? i have attempted suicide twice. i had to go to the hospital one time. my parents were crying like they actually cared and […]
I must say, I think the thing I most truly, profoundly hate in this world is people judging every f(I can swear on this site right?) thing I decide on or do. There’s nothing that frightens me more.
It sometimes gets to the point where I hide feelings and thoughts, ideas and decisions. Why do people do that? I wouldn’t ever judge anyone based on their decisions without even knowing them. Everybody has their own reasons. Like me, right?
People just make me mad. Anybody feel the same?
Feeling fed up,
PURPLEPAIN
No but really I’m having the worst anxiety attack right now. And to add to it my mother wants to come into the session with me so she can meet the doctor. Now, I don’t have a problem with that because that’s what we’ve normally done for the past 4 crazy doctors, I just hope she isn’t going to make me out to be a basket case that needs to be seen every day…since, well, I am getting worse.
Sorry, I just don’t know what to do anymore. It gets to the point where you’re fucked over one too many times and they say “keep your head […]
I was just wondering what people’s thoughts are on having depression and a partner’s appropriate response to it? I get that different people have difference experiences, backgrounds, beliefs etc….
But a recurring theme in my life at the moment is that when someone gets low, or diagnosed, or suicidal, their partner ups and leaves without a word. The only explanation they give is because they cant handle the situation. This happened to me after two weeks of me telling him I was suicidal; it took him only that long to run. A similar thing happened to my sister.
Anyhow, I was just wondering about whether people […]
You know, it seriously takes alot time and courage for someone who’s really shy and and the loner type to actually post anything. Alot of times I just press cancle on a full page post, so feedback would be nice. Also a comment to other posts that have no replies wouldn’t hurt either.
This is my first post, so let me start off by saying, yes I am quite uh ‘suicidal’ and I have no idea what I’m doing here, or why I’m posting my personal thoughts here. I’ll post a bit about myself later because noone wants to read another 100 paragraphs of another […]
I had managed to carve out a nice life. I was happy, we were happy. Sitting on the couch smoking a bowl, laughing at silly things on T.V.
I lost him, my best friend, my brother, my partner in crime, my husband boo. It seemed like we beat the odds, you know? Finding each other. The job I had was great. We took long weekend trips to random places just because it sounded fun.
Being anywhere with him was fun.
The thought of you hurts because you are not here, nor would I want you to be… what I am now is not what I was.
Life moves along […]
She’s right, whatever her name is
We had a deal.
I hid from the pain
And she took my place.
What if I don’t want to be numb anymore?
What if i’m tired of not feeling anything?
No happiness,
No sadness,
Nothing at all.
She was my shield for many years
She protected me from the horrors of this world
Now I relieve her from her post,
But she doesn’t want to go.
She clings on to me
I can find no way to get her out of my head
“Fat”, “ugly”, “worthless”, “useless”
She knows all my weaknesses and faults
And all she does is point them out.
She moves my arms and legs sometimes
I’m her puppet.
No matter how hard I try […]
is my mothers birthday and the anniversary of my fathers death. I haven’t said happy birthday to my mother in 7 years. It is not a joyous day, so I don’t think there is any point in saying it. It makes me feel horrible but I literally can’t find it in me to say it. And Mother’s Day is not too far behind. Worst daughter of the year.
I used to think it was SSRI’s. The Lexapro, Paxil, Lexapro doing it to me. I would have these dreams that I could not separate from reality. My therapist at the time told me it was lucid dreaming because at some point in the dream I would be able to say this is not real and wake up. The problem is I don’t take an SSRI anymore so it worries me that I can still dream this way. Am I going crazy? Sometimes I feel like I can’t even separate my dreams from reality. I wake up crying saying someone has passed away or my […]
technically not dead, visited the site a few times, saw some people wondering… resisted the urge to reply, until now.
SP events happened to coincide with an opportunity for some KB (note: this is what my age group calls good weed; it’s short for “kind bud,” which indicates that it’s not “just schwag” or “brick weed,” but is instead, properly grown and almost always seedless); after almost 2 years of abstaining, for what had become apparently irrelevant motivations, i reached my breaking point, and really wanted some. The sample i received, turned out to be… well, i can’t say it was “the best ever,” but it […]