I wasn’t planning on posting here for another couple of days, but recent circumstances have altered my plans. June 27, 2010 is the day that one of my best friends took his own life. I write a memorial post here each year on that day as a way for me to remember him by. Last night another one of my friends committed suicide. It’s been numbing, as I’ve realized how little it affects me. Not because I don’t care, as this is a person that I had a great deal of respect for, and someone that I genuinely enjoyed being around. I know he had […]
Tag:
Psyche Ward
I dunno. Life man. I’m so burnt out on this shit. In the past I made a lot of mistakes and now they are finally catching up with me. I have never been happy, but I try. When I was younger I was the fat kid and everybody picked on me. So I had no friends. Then I went to college, did a bunch of drugs, and ended up in a psyche ward. I got my shit together after that and went back to the university. Then I met a girl. Well, I loved her, […]
i failed today. i picked up that knife and cut several times and opened several scars. its dissappointing. i was just so angry nd sad and frustrated that it overwhelmed me. i couldnt help myself and once i started doing it i couldnt stop. for a moment i was zoned out, completely lost to the world around me. i was just so focused onn cutting that i didnt bother to listen to the world i was in. i wanted to stop but i couldnt. afterwards i felt so much better though.
when i got the urge i tried to distract myself i tried using my […]
I just keep thinking about suicide. I don’t explicitly have a plan yet, but I have a general idea of what to do. I know we aren’t allowed to talk about this on the board, but even if we were, I’m not sure if I want my mind changed and I don’t want to be stopped. I told myself I’d give myself until I turned 30, but that seems overly generous now. I don’t know when, but I can’t see myself carrying on for that long. I’m not a human being. If I were, I’d feel loved and worthwhile. There would be a point to […]