I have tried endlessly,
failing constantly.
I am a disappointment to my family,
a terrible failure.
No matter how hard I try,
it’s never enough.
I punish myself constantly pushing further,
and still not approved.
I have endured a great deal of suffering,
to please my family,
and still not enough.
Having been burned, bruised, and strictly damaged,
all in the name of making them happy.
But, it is never enough for those fiends.
They take whatever they can out of me,
drain me till I am weakened and broken.
Just to destroy me more,
They have no heart towards me.
Caring not of what […]
Tag:
punishment
I was very sick, that’s what started this and that’s what’s going to finish it. I was blind. All I have to do is stop taking my meds. I don’t know if it’ll be painless, I’m in pain now but I know it’ll be effective. It’ll be slow, but that’ll be my punishment. For there are a few things I wish to do before then.
Why does this happen to me? Why does this happen to us. I’m tired of the scars uprising, but I cant seem to hide. Love ain’t the answer. Death won’t pick up the phone when I call and all I ask is why me? Do people really care or is it all a show we are supposed to give into? My souls been annihilated & death still won’t take me… Where did I go wrong? Was being born not supposed to be? Is this punishment for my parents mistake? I don’t fucking get it one bit. They gone and everything in my life is gone […]
I want to leave this world but I am afraid of what might be next, it could be worse. I mean I am a believer but I don’t understand a lot about it, like why is the punishment so severe? I mean no matter what you’re guilty of, an eternal punishment on any level doesn’t seem right, I mean time here is so finite, and any thing you did wrong should in enough time be cleared but eternal damnation?, and for many all they did was get depressed and off themselves, I mean shouldn’t there be some sort of limit to the punishment? Suppose I […]
I’ve been depressed for as long as I can remember. Looking back, I was a sad, quiet, depressed kid. Thought I was just lonely kid with little to no friends. But now that I know better I do think that I was just such a dark, gloomy, sad girl. Maybe I had sad aura that made people not wanting to get close to me.
I think it’s true nowadays too. It’s almost like I repel people. People won’t want to get to know you if you look sad or miserable. I used to just cry and felt sad everyday, every minute for being so depressed. I’m […]
Id like to share from an existential level and some insights that have occurred. Â I have explored numerous modalities to tap into that higher awareness our world so readily speaks about. Â And yes, I have had amazing experiences… But nevertheless, one always returns to the world of man.
i hear many spiritual teachers say that this planet is a school, a place to learn for souls, and that we create our experience before we entered the womb of our biological human mother.but honestly, what I see, is this logic is pure bullshit, cloaked and lessened with the same idea of man: that one must struggle to exist, […]
Hi
I’m completely new to this site and I’m not really sure what kinds of things people post but here goes.
I am 23 years old and people think I’m a happy and normal person but I’ve been suffering from bipolar disorder for 5 years. The depression I experience in cycles is becoming too much and I can’t hide it anymore. When I’m like this I am such a drain on my family and I just don’t see an end to it. This is why I want to end it all.
There is one thing stopping me. Despite being completely non religious, I keep having this horrible anxiety […]
I feel that I can’t take it anymore I started getting my affairs in order last night I am writing my letters to the ones I will leave behind. But I stop and wonder why even write them anything I sit alone day after day as if I am the only one here anyways so would it even make a difference or a affect on them if I am no longer. If anything it would probably  relieve them of any burden I cause in their life’s. That’s what I am the burden in this thing called life but I call punishment. I try each day everyday to fight […]
She cried in her own hands, asking what did she do to deserve this much pain. This pain has been stuck inside her for too long, too long for her to believe that this is the punishment for something she has done wrong. But then she thought for no more than a second before realizing, ” I don’t deserve this, I deserve better!”
For every single person who is suffering from internal pain, we deserve better than this.
No person should have to endure such hurt. We are all human, born sinners, who have a lifetime to make things right.
If you are anything like me – someone […]
It’s too quiet in here.
I can hear myself cry, and hiss out words that usually come as mumbles.
It was once a place of serenity.
It was once the place of my joy,
but now I find it only to contain an inescapable hell.
It’s a place filled with shadows,
and a place filled with comfort.
My temple and my asylum,
my punishment and my reward.
This place smells of candles overcome with the misuse of lysol in a can.
I […]
So I’ve come to the conclusion that it does not get better. The mental disorders don’t go away, I won’t get any less socially awkward, & I will not become any less pathetic. I’ve sought help & It lead to my family thinking I’m crazy to the point where none of them want anything to do with me. I tried to just get away, but I end up with more problems then I started with. Always naturally hated by everyone I’ve met. First I thought it was a test. Then when I lost faith I thought it was a punishment, but now I know there […]
I actually really want someone to punch me. Like when I’m feeling really frustrated and angry I just wish someone would hurt me. I want to feel the solid strike of justice hitting my body, the pain rippling through my body. Punishment for my sins.
Older Posts