I don’t really know what else i can do anymore. Cameron died almost exactly a year ago (September 8 2013) and I am STILL not over it. I’ve gone to all the groups, I’ve been hospitalized for PTSD, I’ve got a new boyfriend who treats me like gold, I go out, I don’t talk about it all the time anymore. What else can I do to make it feel better.
The thing you have to know is Cameron and I were very much in […]
just want to rant here. i wish someone could beat me to death cuz i do not deserve to be on this planet. Who decided to give me life anyway? My mother? Hell she should have gone to the hospital and abort me. Â Cuz I guess I was a pure accident. Â She should have adopted a puppy, that way, her incapacity to raise and take care of kids wouldnt have harm anyone. Â Im alone, live alone. Â No boyfriend cuz hell, even myself I wouldnt wanna date a depressed miserable chick like me. Â I didnt ask to come to life, Â therefore, I can do whatever […]
Many things people think about sociopaths is that they are dishonest, narcissistic, and unremorseful. We are, but I promise you I’ve never killed a puppy. Nor am I a serial killer. I’m most certainly not Mr. Sherlock Holmes. I am very intelligent and clever, though. To be honest, I can fake empathy very well.
Believe it or not, sociopaths can be depressed. I am living proof of that. While I cannot feel sorry for you, I can very well feel sorry for myself. It’s all in the level of psychopathy. I admit it, I’m self centered. I won’t be naive and deny it. My therapist says that […]
Kenny and I had/have a love like none other. We lived to love, laugh and make each other happy, and we exceeded that everyday for over 9 years. On 2/4/12 Kenny proposed to me and I thought that was the happiest day of my life, but everyday after that only got better. Kenny was the spice of life. Everything that Kenny did was amazing because he had that enthusiasm that made everything amazing. Then it all ended…
3/5/13 started out like any day. Kenny sent me a text to say he was up and I responded in my normal way “Good morning baby – I love […]
I am tired of my life. I am tired of looking back at my past and looking into my forward. I have a feeling of complete hopeless. I have been suffering from depression for 7 years of my 20 year life. I am usually always depressed about one thing or another but sometimes my depression explodes and hurls me into a scary state of mind. I am currently in one of these states of mind. I have a ugly past and I have obscene tattoos that remind me of it daily. I wake up and wish my tattoos where gone but they are not they […]
the pain we all feel is terrible and unfair..
but we all need to know that someone in there..
and even if were all far apart..
we can all feel each other in our hearts
the deepest darkest black we have all felt inside
sometimes the world is a place we despise
but we need to all love and have compassion for each other
cause we have all been through some pain one way or another
we all let it out weather we get high or cut to feel in control
but the power to stop the power to feel good we all behold
the […]
I look at your twitter; the old tweets you tweeted.
I know Your favorite things.
From Your favorite baseball team, to Your favorite meal.
Babe Your voice, still it rings.
I know what You say
I know how You feel.
Boy there is no way that You and I can’t be
we’re so close to perfect for eachother..
Yes We had our problems..
but everytime We fixed it
Things got even better!
I know everything about You
Where You want to live, the name of Your first born son.
If only she knew
About the days that you almost ran.
Sweetheart, can’t You see?
You and I are meant to be.
The puppy You’ll get, the life you plan to leave.
You saved […]
you can still email me, but I can text more often than I can email so if anyone wants, I could use the company <3
-lonely puppy here -.-
732-907-9411
i am, its true. you are ALWAYS here for me, when im to fucked, to even think. promise after promise i make to u saying i will not attempt suicide, i will quit cutting, and in a week i will stop taking pills for the hell of it. honestly, im sorry, idk why i make promises i cant keep. i try but my mind out rules me. everytime. im terrified, i dont deserve a friend as AMAZING as u, im scared u will finally understand that, and leave. im still ALWAYS and FOREVER will be here for u. u can tell me ANYTHING. but again […]
Its almost the summer, and i feel alittle paniced. Ive decided i would like to die in the summer time, none of my friends will every know im gone next year at school. However life has basically just put an obsticle in my way. my best guy friend, i now have feelings for. maybe i even love him?(even puppy love) Its taring me in two. a part of me wants him BAD. I feel jealous when i see him with other girls, when he posts heart on other girls walls. I want him so bad and i dont know why. I just want to kiss […]
k I crushed pills… put them in a sandwich.. ick! threw it away and had to chug soda after the first bite. so I crushed even more and mixed it in with yogurt and it didn’t taste that bad so i took like one bite then went to get a drink and when I did my grandfather said we could go out for lunch. If he hadn’t, i would’ve finished the yogurt… oh well. I’m not worth them knowing my misery. they don’t care anyways… no one cares but my mom… What would she think? and my puppy in Florida too… I miss my Bella… […]
My family tree aint that good, Dad is an ass hole, always sayin I cant do nothing , mom hates that im not girly they both hate the fact im lesbian I want my future family tree to be better than what I have I want my girlfriend tgat ihave now for 2years to be my wife, have a beautiful home 2kids and a puppy.. NO yelling, NO abuse, NO put downs just being a happy family :’) :/
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