I woke up focused on purging the pain. Spent all day in the hills trying to find peace. Came back to my little cottage that reeks of death. Cried and punched the wall till my wrist got sprained. Bottle of liquor and a handful of toxic killers. Just looking at them and crying. Their punget smell just painted a horrific spectre of death. I just couldn’t do it. Whoever said suicide is the easy way out deserves to go to hell. I just feel so alone and torn apart from the inside. I don’t know what else to do.
Tag:
purging
I’m failing school.
The past few days have been really, really bad. Whenever I study I feel this sense of hopelessness and I am unable to bring myself to believe that I CAN, that if I work hard enough, I CAN get an A…
I tried to stop binging and purging. Well I stopped purging but I couldn’t stop binging. That sucked because I got fatter. I guess you have to get worse before you get better? Maybe I don’t have enough patience in myself. But it really got me down. Because I feel like there’s nothing I’m good at anymore. Not music, I don’t believe I […]
Alone with her thoughts
Alone in her room
Little did she know
Her story would end soon
No more sadness
No more pain
No more purging
To stop the gain
She sees her body
She hates each mark
Can’t stand the sight
So she lays in the dark
She cries in the night
And finds her blade
She thinks of every
Mistake she’s made
She begins to think
She’s better off dead
The thought of being
Rushes through her head
She grabbed some pills
And a small red cup
She wanted to fall asleep
And never wake up
Empty the bottle
Down each pill
Soon she will be
Forever still
She was sad to go
But it was for the best
She got what she wanted
Eternal rest
alright, it’s been a while since i’ve been on here, but, i exist still
nothing has really changed. my anxiety isn’t AS bad, i guess. I’ve been having more panic attacks though. a while ago, i talked about seeing things- and i still do. worst than before. it’s an all day thing. i always see things, i feel like someone is watching me 24/7 i feel uncomfortable all the time.
i have depersonalization disorder, but it isn’t really as bad as it was. now that i can actually deal with reality, i have come to terms that i absolutely hate my body and the way i look. […]