I don’t know what to do. I’m writing this and it’s all so sketchy. There are days I’m not paranoid and then there are days where I question if I should trust the world and my loved ones. I’m just a fucked up statement of life. I hate life and everything it consists of. I don’t wanna see the sun shining and the clouds passing by. I don’t wanna see the grass and the food we eat that in the majority is micro-processed. I feel so burdened with my thoughts, for they consume me entirely. I am not me anymore, I am a […]
Tag:
Radio
I recently watched a film called The Sound of Insects. The film really resonated with me because of the story it told. This guy was fed up with life, and he knew no body was going to come looking for him, so he disappeared into the woods and committed suicide by starvation. It took an enormous amount of will and the guy has to endure a lot of pain. He just sat there under a plastic sheet with a radio, a few books, and bed made of forest floor. I totally and completely felt for the guy, because I was the guy, to some extent […]
I just spent the whole day at work sittin oan my arse at my desk silently greetin’ to myself. Trying to hide the tears from my boss and getting absolutely nae work done! There really was no point getting out of bed this morning!
I couldn’t take my mind off the abortion, and what’s more the radio kept on debating about it and it’s bloody morality!
It wis a right nightmare o’ a day so now i’m goin tae the shop getting myself some cold beer and drinking the rest ah the day away!
I’m sick fed up o feelin like this i just go from […]
I know the feeling
Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge
And there ain’t no healing
From cuttin’ yourself with the jagged edge
I’m tellin’ you that it’s never that bad
And take it from someone who’s been where your at
You’re laid out on the floor and you’re not sure
You can take this anymore
So just give it one more try
With a lullaby
And turn this up on the radio
If you can hear me now
I’m reachin’ out to let you know
That you’re not alone
And you can’t tell, I’m scared as hell
‘Cause I can’t get you on the telephone
So today i almost broke down it was a tough day and it’s lke i can feel that tommorows gonna be a tough day too but i’ll survie right?? i mean i kinda have too. tommorw goals:
surive ( i have a sleepover with my friend if you look back at some of my earlier post i talk about her and yes she is the one who was calling em names adn stuuf but she said she wants to put in the past and that shes really sorry and that her parents might be getting a divorced so she took it out on me but i […]
If you feel like suicide because of how life is, I understand. This world is full of liars and corruption, people telling you that your problems are self created, and that you are somehow too lazy or unwilling to fix them. This is untrue. Since you were born, the NEW WORLD ORDER has sought to indoctrinate you, through TV, school, and even the radio. Everything works opposite to what it should. The wars of the world all happen by design, to allow the filthy rich and powerful to profit. 9-11, JFK murder, and the London bombings were inside jobs. If anything, fight the NEW WORLD […]
I was reading on here a couple of weeks ago, and I saw something that someone said and it really stuck with me. They said “I’m not a person who wants to be alive. Im just a person who’s too afraid to die.” That pretty much sums me up. I don’t get a kick out of living. I don’t go to bed at night thinking of all the wonderful things I get to do tomorrow and aren’t I just so darn lucky that I get to just be alive?! No. I go to bed hoping I won’t wake up. But I always do. I would […]
It’s only been 5 days since I’ve last cut, but I don’t want to cut anymore.
It’s going to be tough.
But I’m not doing it for me, but for all my friends, family and counselors/ therapists that I’ve met over the years.
I don’t want to hurt them again.
But I think about it constantly.
My skin cries out to be cut.
But I can’t do it.
I want to find different ways to cope.
I want to think positively and think about all of the things that I love.
I love rollerblading, shooting hoops on sunny days, The Mighty Ducks, this crazy […]
How am I supposed to forgive myself when it’s me that did the worst thing I have ever done?
I was the emotionally abusive man; I lost the love of my life because of this…when I see myself, I see the bad guy from Sleeping With The Enemy or Cape Fear or Fear…I did horrible things(not as bad as those guys, but horrible nonetheless).
Every time I hear something on the radio or TV that pertains to a guy not knowing when to back down and walk away, I cringe because I know that guy is me. I know she’d never be able to forgive me because […]
I have always been a VERY strong person. I am the one people would come to for advice and for strength but lately I find myself completely without strength and it also feels like no one I have ever been there for is there for me now. I have rheumatoid arthritis and I’m 28 years old. I was born with the disease and my whole childhood was destroyed by the illness. I never had a normal life. So I grew up knowing how to deal with pain and suffering. However, I went into complete remission when I was 18 and my life became wonderful. I […]