Tag:

Railing

My last days

by mylastdays 2/15/2013

written by mylastdays

After studying leastÂ painfulÂ suicide methods for many weeks now, Â I came toÂ conclusionÂ that properly done partial suspension hanging is the least painful way out. Â And I do have a proof. Â Â This morning Â I tried my noose that I made yesterday from strong leather belt with strong, large D-ring style buckle (one of those “Lewis” designs), Â to “try and see the fit”.

I had the noose hanging from a staircase railing, put it around my neck. Â I lowered my knees and the very moment when I felt the noose closing tightly around my neck veins (without choking me), Â I realized that this would be “it”. Â My […]

2/15/2013 10 comments

After 11 Years Of Hell

by nat 2/5/2013

written by nat

After over a decade of trying to slog on through this bleak existence, and being guilt-tripped continuously into persevering, I am all out of stamina for the fight anymore. Â Too many things, too many broken emotions, too many medical tags stuck onto this tortured, agony-racked being. Â I don’t even think those closest to my heart would begrudge me seeking eternal peace and relief from this cruel world, if they could understand the pain I go through on a daily basis.

I have had 3 botched overdoses with different meds, and tried hanging once but the cord stretched too much, and contemplated stepping off the roof of […]

2/5/2013 5 comments

I’m still here.

by sadbluesea 9/16/2012

written by sadbluesea

For the past two weeks almost every single night I have been standing at the very top of five flights of stairs, contemplating possibilities. Imagining my body falling. Would I face up or should I choose to face the ground? I am still afraid. That is why when I find myself there, hands gripping the railing, it takes me about an hour to move. And somehow through strength or fear, I am still here.

Last night, as I started my walk up these five flights of stairs my boyfriend called me.Â Instead of finishing the climb I hopped in my car and drove to his house. […]

9/16/2012 4 comments

That Hope No One Knows about Part 1

by SomeMalaise 8/17/2012

written by SomeMalaise

I want to start by saying that I’m quite damaged. Just like many I’ve been through some things. Lots of things. Complicated and simple. I have hope. But don’t take that so fully. Don’t eat it, sip it. Lasts longer. It’s early in the morning so I’ll do these in parts as I’m sleepy again. I hope you are able to find a ray of hope in each part.

I’m obviously still alive. Why? I do not know, but a spark is still with me. Whether I admit to it or not. It’s there. In middle school I had this spark when my grades were failing, […]

8/17/2012 1 comment

The pain of today is forgotten when new things come into your life

by Jack7665 6/11/2012

written by Jack7665

I have been depressed before and had thoughts of suicide, but the fact is that in life, you go through phases and cycles.

Some things might seem today to be SO BAD that you cannot overcome them- yet down the track they will go away and you will be able to look back on today’s situation with NO EMOTIONAL REACTION.

The key is that you need to hold out for that future instead of giving up.

IF you are running a long distance race, you can’t just quit halfwayÂ becauseÂ it seems too hard. Â The race is hard andÂ unpleasant, but the prize is at the end and only if you […]

6/11/2012 8 comments

So I guess it isn’t all so bad…

by ValarMorghulis 2/13/2012

written by ValarMorghulis

So my last post here was this one

http://suicideproject.org/2011/11/tonights-the-night-i-guess/

Long story short, after writing that, I waited until midnight, walked out to the Golden Gate Bridge, looked over the railing, and got ready to jump.Â I waited until midnight because I didn’t want anyone to actually see me die, and I know that security around there tends to watch out for any potential jumpers. Anyways, so I’m standing there, trying to talk myself into finally ending it all, when some bicyclist on the other side of the bridge yells over “Hey! What the fuck are you doing?!”. Or something to that effect anyways.

I looked over at him, […]

2/13/2012 4 comments