The only two friends that i have in college do not speak to me anymore.
I really liked them as my friends and i build a great friendly relationship with them but I’ve been noticing some strange behavior from them.
My two friends are guys and i’m a girl.
Anyways, we are all in the same class and I’ve been noticing that when i have a conversation with one of them- the other walks away.
And For example- we wrote a script individually for the class we are in and i asked both of them to be in it and one of them ask me […]
Tag:
reach out
im a young adult with no future and i have no help support or friends,i tried taking my life last year and i ended up throwing up and choking it was awful and i think i got lucky,i then i tried again and failed,and now i think im honestly going to go even further then i have before,i use several different sites to come on and unload but people either don’t care or they think im a teenager,i know the best people can do is tell me to reach out but they don’t understand that the mental health system has failed me and that i […]
who else has trouble reaching out to people about their issues?
sometimes i think i’m ready to reach out and get help. then i remember all the times i tried to do so and was burned – like when my sister called my cutting ‘stupid’, when i tried to approach the subject with a school counselor and was ignored, not counting all the times i was told to just be grateful for what i have, or to ‘just get over it’. or my favorite; ‘do something about it then’.
they tell us if we’re feeling bad to talk to someone about it… what if no one wants […]
I’m afraid I’ve gone bad again. Well let’s be honest… I was never fine.
I’ve quite my job where I had to handle all the sexual harassment from my boss.
My “friends” don’t really reach out to me. I kind of don’t care yet it hurts .. does that make sense?
Still planning on my second attempt.
I did buy an anxiety toy so I can at least deal with that somehow.
But to be honest. The day for me to go seems closer and closer. Slowly.
Hey there. I saw your eyes yesterday. You’re disappointed. Sorry. I might be… out. I’m actually out. I’m always off. I’m always out. I push back my chair. I hide my hands in my pockets. I lay my head up against the wall. I deaf myself out and off with music. I don’t wanna listen anymore. I just don’t wanna be here. I keep complaining all the time. Always blaming someone, something. Always wondering, about me, about the others, about everything. I live in a world that isn’t. I have to make up my own to smile. See the smile on my lips when I […]
I found out the other day that my friend died. I could not go there, i could not accept that she was gone forever. we are not really friends. I tried to be her friend, i tried to reach out for her but she would not let me in. I hate her. I hate myself, i should have tried harder, should have set aside myself and put her first so… She could still be here. I wanted to kill myself, i should have died with her so she wont be alone. I love her. I want her.
I think I am sick. Certain health issues that arose 2 years ago have recently gotten worse and more frequent. I don’t want to see a doctor even though I am uncomfortable and in a bit of pain. I don’t like medicine. Strangely enough, I have had the urge to try LSD. I have never done drugs or really been interested in them. Well, I tried pot when I was younger, foolish, and pressured – it was not for me. I enjoy drinking wine on occasion. I keep thinking about partial suspension hanging…
A few people have called and tried to reach out to me lately. I […]
It doesn’t matter how much volunteer work I do, how many jobs I work at, how many classes I take, or how much I actively reach out to help people. Nobody wants anything to do with me. I’m very lonely. Nobody messages me or asks me to hang out with them, nobody asks how I’m doing, and last year nobody visited me in the hospital when I was there for a week. What’s wrong with me? Why am I this big of a social outcast? Why am I treated like I’m just extraordinarily annoying? I really just want to die. I want the pain to […]
Honestly, was anything I ever said or did good enough? Am I just someone you knew now? Is it because I wasn’t going to coddle you and baby you whenever you had a boo boo? Grow the fuck up. I’m not your mother.
What do you have to do nowadays to get people to stay by your side? Nothing I suppose. Because no one will stay by your side. You reach out for help and people spit on your hand.
All my friends, all my trusted companions, gone now because I obviously wasn’t their ideal person to associate with. The trust circle I have contains 2 people. […]
Well. Let’s face the facts babe.
you’re dead . cold.
softly floating in your blood. your eyes popped out of your skull like they were trying to reach out and strangle me.
and i finanlly undrerstood what had happened. i was not shaken.
i completely regognized the act of brutal savagery that was before my own eyes.
it did not strike fear into my heart.
only regret.the sting of regret that you didnt die slower.
that broke my heart. if i had one.
Hi. I’m Cole. I have depression, anxiety, and eating disorder, and I struggle with selfharm. I really want to end my life, and I guess this is my last chance to reach out. I keep a bottle of 67 pills hidden in my room. One of these days, I WILL swallow them. I just can’t see any reason to live anymore. My family hates me, my friends have given up on me. I’m a lost cause and everyone knows it. If you can give me one good reason to stay, I’ll reconsider.
How do you tell the ones you love that you are suicidal? That every day you need to make a conscious decision? You have a stash of painkillers ready for the moment? That going to the mental ward again doesn’t solve the chronic physical pain? How do you reach out after so many failed “cures? “
the amassing depression. the self-loathing, self put down. the little voice in my head telling me that i should just kill myself and be free. my fucking straight edge calling me from the drawer. my psych meds transforming into an image of freedom. fuck fuck fuck!!! how wonderful it would be, the bus driver not being able to stop in time. or the gun salesman not knowing my true intention. fuck here come the fucking tears. the kind of sadness that make me feel weak and lonely. except for the fact that i am alone and lonely. i’m a pathetic excuse for a human being. […]
It would take hundreds of pages to try and explain everything leading up to what happened at about 10PM, November 7th, 2010 so I think I’ll try to summarize what had been going on in my life.
Ok, so I’m technically a College freshman since, even though I’ve done the whole college thing through Running Start and am considered Junior status, I still have never lived hundreds of miles away from home at a school.
Anyway, for the past year and I half I’ve been off and on dating this amazing, wonderful guy. Then, at the end of the very first week of classes, Friday (and more […]