The only two friends that i have in college do not speak to me anymore.
I really liked them as my friends and i build a great friendly relationship with them but I’ve been noticing some strange behavior from them.
My two friends are guys and i’m a girl.
Anyways, we are all in the same class and I’ve been noticing that when i have a conversation with one of them- the other walks away.
And For example- we wrote a script individually for the class we are in and i asked both of them to be in it and one of them ask me who’s playing the main character? and i told him it was my other friend and he replied “i knew it”….
it gave me the impression that he was jealous. which is weird because we’ve been friends for awhile and he never acted like he liked me like that. but i might be wrong? am I?
And the other guy friend, i noticed that he was bothered because i had a conversation with a guy from the same class about a subject we both liked and we where just conversing about it and he was there and he all of the sudden got up and left without saying goodbye or anything, i knew something was bothering him but i don’t know what? was he also jealous?
there behavior became so bazar, that i’m not really sure whats going on? i’m just sad that i lost their friendship.
Does anyone have an advice for me?
should i reach out to them?
5 comments
I know your pain… Some of the guys I was friends with back in college turned out to harbor ulterior motives of wanting to date me. One fellow even broke up with his girlfriend for me… only to be disappointed, because he misread my friendship with him. (I honestly had no idea and was NOT trying to lead him on.)
I wouldn’t do anything out of the ordinary right now unless you’re interested in dating them. If you aren’t, pretend you have no idea they might be into you, and they’ll either accept being friend-zoned, or will walk away… which would be sad, but it’s better than allowing them to start drama.
secret me,
yeah you have a problem, if you are interested in one of them let him know, and let the other know your not interested in him, unless your interested in both of them!! 🙂 i’m trying to be funny! in other words if your not interested in either one of them let them know that too! nicely, guy’s are hard to be friends with and the other way around too! but yeah sounds like your in a one of those situations, kind of a no win. it happen’s.
Sounds like text book jealousy to me. But like Rocketman has already said you’re just going to have to talk to them a bout it. It sounds a bit more then they are just jealous of who is “the best friend” and maybe have developed feelings towards you. There’s nothing wrong with that, friendships are very good foundations for that but you just got to be clear and honest about your own feelings etc and they can take it or leave it. good luck :0)
One thing you could do is just be as obvious as possible about what you want from them. It sounds like you want their (non-romantic) friendship.
Communication fail is often at the root of these kinds of things, because people assume all sorts of things about each other.
If you are very open about what you want (at present), it might inspire them to be equally open. And it might not. If so, you could always ask them if you have a quiet moment by yourselves.
Thanks everyone for your advice. The two friends kinda stopped talking to me. I guess I really hurt them some how. Anyways I’m just gonna leave it how it is kuz it just proves that they didn’t want to be friends with me overall. Just makes me sad kuz I lost two great friends.