I don’t like my life. I don’t like the fact that there is a daily routine which I dont like, yet I am forced to follow because of society. I can see most people are not happy, and only pretend. I’m sick of fake smiles and all the judgement. School is very stressful, I hate it. The only reason I think of college is not to study, but to have a new beginning elsewhere, no school and no stress.Yet that life seems somewhat impossible. In school everyone “grows” intellectually, yet our being is deteriorating. My suicide thoughts lately have been very strong. There was […]
Tag:
Reason
After my cousin killed himself, my dad told me if i ever feel that way and that suicide is just selfish, what he doesn’t seem to comprehend is that he’s the one pushing me towards the end.
On TV or in books the protagonist is always described as “ordinary girl”, someone that just looks like no one special but turns out to be very special to just the right boy… People always want to stand out, be that little bit extra pretty, extra smart and just special. I just realised from the very beginning that I had no shot at being special in a good, charming way and extra pretty never kicked in either. I lost the “cute” when I turned about 12 and it just never came back. Instead I just grew tall, and big and insecure. I faked confidence well […]
Anyone one here in a relationship but still wants to commit suicide?
by quickatrigga
written by quickatrigga
The reason why I ask is because that’s the only reason why i want too
What bullying is
Bullying is a judger. It sometimes judges. It is always wrong. It is never right. Sometimes bullied victims will see in the mirror how bullies described them. But they don’t know that they are beautiful no matter what. They have gotten to the point where they forget that bullies are just like virus on a computer. Viruses make us get frustrated. Bullies do too. It is not true what bullies say. If they say to go and die you think it is what you need to do. You don’t need to. Just ignore them or stand up for yourself even if have to […]
Im a little drugged right now. I am most nights. Its the only way I came sleep. You people dont know me but someone give me one reason to keep living… cuz this whole it gets better bullshit is something you tell someone to make them .shut up… I need a real answer….please
my depression started when i was nine i figured out what had happend to me i was sexually assulted by parents i was put in foster care adopted into a family that is the reason of my pain and cutting and suicidal thoughts and many attempts they hate me they hate the way i dress my music everything about me they basically call me an attention seeking whore and when i cut i feel nothing and death hasnt taken my soul yet simply because i do not have one worth taking i feel like im drowning but not dying this is slow and painful life […]
Every 56 days, I donate blood to the American Red Cross. I’m 17 and I’ve done this ever since I was eligible, there’s something amazing about it, it’s the simplest thing, yet it saves up to 3 lives each time. At first it didn’t seem like much, but after donating 5 times I got a phone call thanking me for saving the lives of 15 people throughout my county. I can’t put into words the feeling I get knowing that as long as I stay alive, the more lives I can save. Last March I was going through a really rough time, the only thing […]
I don’t even know why I’m writing this, I guess because I have nothing else to do. I’m almost 22, graduating from a community college this semester, jobless, and still living with my parents. I just feel fucking pointless though.
I say graduating, but I know that’s only if I can actually make it through these 2 classes I’m taking. I can’t study, I never want to, all I want to do is just waste my life away on video games, so I don’t have to think about my current life. I’m still living at my parents house, and not to brag but they are decently […]
I suppose I do it to myself most times. I wish i could blame someone else; that would make it easier. But its all me. My stupidity, my poor decisions, my attitude. I just want it to end. I hate being numb all the time. It feels like the only thing i can feel is anger or sadness. I want to kill myself but i’m just afraid of what might happen if it doesn’t work. I don’t want to feel any more pain. I just want it to be done–quick and clean.
What am i supposed to do? There’s no reason for me to stay. I […]
I was never a religious person nor am I now but I often think that I am stuck in hell. “Hell on earth” , hell of depression , loss , memories , feeling like I am speaking in a foreign language because people may hear me but they DON’T understand me so I resort to silence then there is the heartbreak , the feeling like your heart is literally being broken into two and the thoughts come and they are anything but organised.. I am left angry and exhausted. I think , this is what he must of felt like and I had no idea. […]
i am the nothing man. i carry doom and gloom as my closest companions. i have no talent, no goals, no desires, no hope and i can’t wait to die. the one thing i do have is family and friends, and honestly, that is the reason why i’m still breathing on this god forsaken earth.
at random times throughout the day i visualize a bullet penetrating my skull and blowing my brains out. it feels more peaceful than anything else that i can imagine. to end the suffering which is my mind would be liberating.
i tried for many years to blame the injustices of […]
Have you ever woke up, and was to sick to even think about getting out of bed? And by sick I don’t mean physically sick, I mean like emotionally sickened. Have you ever woke up and questioned your own existence? I just feel so selfish to even have these thoughts. I have everything I need and more. How come I’m not happy? I don’t even feel like being here anymore. This place just isn’t for me.
 I’ve tried to explain these feelings to someone before but it doesn’t really help. They usually just say “oh I’m sorry, I understand, I’m going through stuff too.” So then […]
i cut just to know i feel
i cut because its so surreal
i cut just to know im here
i cut because i belong no where
i cut to cover all my lies
i cut to stay trapped in this time
the pain its just so enticing
im not living unless im slice
all the sins that cover me
it blocks out the sun its smothering
i cut just to stay alive
i cut because i know i cant hide
behind the walls and painted glass
take your hope and shove up your ass
i cant live on bible talk
im a rebel and i know i rock
so i cut just to breath the air
that is granted just because […]
I cant take it anymore. I miss the old me..you know that happy one. That tiny with the actual happy smiles. The real smiles. Im so tired and i cant even find something i like anymore. i could say i want to get better. I’ve tried, many times. But the only time i feel happy is when im with one of my friends…well used to be friend. He helped me through everything. Yet, i pushed him away. He never gave up. ever. he probably still has hope for some reason im scared to be with him. My girlfriends wo i barely tell anything to has […]
i am 19 years old, I live with mom, my sister studies abroad and my father is rarely home. I have good parents, i know they love me and i know that i love them too. but, i have no idea why every time i’m around my family, especially my mom, i always get pissed, and i’m always angry all the time for no reason. i think a part of me feels that it is kind of my family’s fault because we’re not like a normal family, we don’t go out together, i’m not close with my father and every time i talk with my […]
Know how I came across this site? I googled, “How to disapear.” And I was brought here…
I was having a bad day, I suffer from depression and today just wasn’t good. I saw my friends and was just in a terrible mood and felt like everything was falling apart. My friends are always busy, I get mad at them for no reason, and sometimes I just feel like Im falling back into this deep, dark place that I used to be about 2 years ago. But then I made my favorite tea, put on my favorite movie and came across this site. And it really […]
hit me if you think it hurts
beat me if you think it works
ill be here when your done
and you’ll be where you passed out drunk
life continues it never ends
unless you take it with your own hands
is it ever a reason good enough
to walk away and throw your hands up
no one will ever understand
because your alone the last man to stand
please give me one reason just to go on
because in reality this is no fun
loneliness is my curse
if you get close ill hurt you worse
i don’t mean to be who i am
im […]
It all hit me. I was at coffee with my friend, and all of the sudden it all hit me – the depression, the urge to kill myself, for all of this to end.
I have no purpose, I see no tomorrow, I see no future. I just want to die, so fucking badly.
I’m living but I don’t feel like I am. I just want to fucking die! Why can’t I? Why can’t some car hit me and I’d die? Why can’t something happen and my life would end? I have no purpose. I feel like a puppet doing stuff only because I am told I […]
Over the course of my short 26 years of life, I have attempted suicide on no less than 8 occasions.
From the age of 11, I was bullied at school, tormented and tortured by grown men who’d wait for me after school and not to mention the troubles I was working through at home and struggling to admit the fact that I am gay, even to myself.
All of this plus a few other reasons landed me in therapy.
From the age of 11 onwards I saw one psychotherapist after another and I’ve been on so many medications that it’s hard to be certain of the exact number. […]