I have been living with the thought of suicide almost four years.I can’t be fixed,my past and my present can’t be fixed.Since kindergarten i wasn’t normal!The kids hated me because i didn’t speak ..i think.I was bullied in school,but i don’t want to talk about that.I think i have extreme social anxiety disorder.When i was little i didn’t understand how different i was.I was thinking that i deserve to treat me like less of human.Now i am going to be 12 grade and i think it’s time to go. I don’t want my parent’s to spent money for lessons for someone who have no future.Now […]
Tag:
Right Moment
What makes you want to end it all? That feeling that is sometimes so very hard to even put into words. Words that come to mind are unrelenting pain, lost, left with no sense of hope. It is like you are in a deep dark hole and there is no sign of light, no sign that you will ever get out. You don’t even see the top of the hole because you are so far down deep in the hole and you are all alone. As each day passes – it does just that – they pass you by. People pass by and no […]
I’ve had the best life before, everything i ever wanted, was so good, A loving man, New car, New condo, Great job and people who love me, But that changed so really my time is done here, I just waiting for the right moment and the right way to go, Damn this feels so good! Anyway, my ex could be coming back to my lofe, we we together 4 years, hes so amazing, but i live in Ga now and hes in FL. So anyway, my point is, yes weve all been through rough times, and sometimes is not worth going on living, but you […]
I was scared because I haven’t really felt anything at all in ages. No sadness, no happiness, no pain, no tears, no fear, no excitement, no laughter, no love, no hate. Just apathy and indifference. And not feeling anything scares the shit out of me, because I think that feeling all these emotions, good and bad, make everything real. And nothing felt real. And for a while it was good, because often feeling nothing is better than the level of pain I feel at times. But then feeling numb gets cold and sad and even more depressing than the sadness itself.
But this morning I […]
I have problems, I think…
It’s always been here..
I have a man who loves me.. and I have a few friends … and family…
I love this man, and as of right now he’s my rock.. Cause I don’t want to be alive..
I have this feeling of needing to end my self.. A feeling that things would be better
for everyone else in my life if I was gone… They say other wise, but I have it
imbedded into my head.. I just .. I need help.
Is there a right moment to really give up on life? Is there really another way to figure out if
death is the right […]
I’m thinking of doing it tomorrow night. 1/21/12 is when I die. I wanted to do it on my birthday. That was three months ago. Should have then. Should’ve done it along time ago. I know some people work through worse pain then I have experienced. I feel hopeless. I used to feel sorry for myself. Realized that gets you nowhere. Thinking about just walking in front of a semi. If I jump just at the right moment I should die. I know that it’s selfish to do. Especially in that way. Can’t really find another way to do it. No car. Can’t find good […]