Since when did I start drinking every single night to the point of oblivion. And since when was not getting to that point a disappointment.
I am unhappily tipsy.
Hooray for success! I’m married! I own my own home! We have a backyard! We actually have money in our savings account!
Like that solves anything I mean really. I’m still alone tonight. I’m still sad and angry and crying tonight.
I thought I was on my way to overcoming the sadness but it seems I was wrong. I feel so so so so alone and also unbelievably numb but somehow really sad all at the same time and I can’t really explain how bad I feel right now, just that it’s been a while since I was this low and that yesterday I cut over the almost completely healed scars on my thighs. I don’t even really know why I did it, I think I just like seeing the evidence, seeing that my inner pain can be converted and can mark me on the outside […]
I’m 20 years old and in college 800 kms away from home. It has been almost 2 years that i started living on my own. I do not have anybody to call my own. I pretend to be happy and cheerful when i go to college but when i come back to the hostel, I’m lonely and sad. I cry every night. Life is not happier at home. I’m not at all close to my parents. My dad has beaten me up a few times in the past and i hate going back home. They never let me out of the house my whole life […]
I’m really sad about my life… And I want kill my self… I thought about this a lot, but never had the “courage” to do…
My girlfriend said I “killed” her happiness, and it broke with all my heart….
I can’t make the most important person in the earth for me happy.. so why I should live more?
All fights is the same… I want give up… I’m not strong enough…
I know it’s a little silly… But is how I feel inside…
I am mute, i just cut, and i feel like dyeing, why? Because my mom finally broke me. All i have ever wanted is for my mother to love me and care like other moms do, but i never get her love, when she was down and sad wjo helped her? ME WHEN I WAS ONLY 5, I DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHY SHE WAS CRYING AT THAT AGE BUT I WAS THE ONE WHO HELD HER TILL SHE FELL ASLEEP, ME! I WAS THE ONE WHO CARED WHEN MY DAD WENT! AND KMOW SHE TREATS ME LIKE IM TRASH!!! WHAT DID I DO!!! IM ONLY […]
I’m certain I’m not the only 24 year old out there with a depression issue but I’d like to try and figure this out. I am relativly successful. I recently got out of the military and started college and am going to try and get into the nursing program. I had a lot of issues when I was around 16/17 with depression. Then I got better then again when I was 19 and living alone. I joined the military shortly there after and was fine until the extreme amount of stress was too much to handle any more after 3.5 years. Now i am here […]
There really is. I like someone sooo much i wish he was with me all the time. He is sooo funny. I like him for his personality. He signed up for the same subject as i did (i think). He doesnt know me at all. I heard things about him. Like he likes football, he is sooo funny, he has soo much homework, and he runs for track team. I wish i could introduce myself to him but he is always playing kickball at reecess and he is not in the same grade. I am also afriad that if i do introduce myself […]
   As I’ve spoken about in previous posts, I’ve had depression, anxiety and paranoid delusions for most of my life and it’s not easy to live with, especially the depression.
    For me, at 11 years old it began with a deep sadness that just never seemed to lift. It spiralled pretty quickly and I began to spend an awful lot of time alone in my bedroom. I felt as though I was the loneliest person in the world because nobody could really relate to what I was feeling. The thing that got to me most was that some people would say things like, “you’re […]
Over the course of my short 26 years of life, I have attempted suicide on no less than 8 occasions.
From the age of 11, I was bullied at school, tormented and tortured by grown men who’d wait for me after school and not to mention the troubles I was working through at home and struggling to admit the fact that I am gay, even to myself.
All of this plus a few other reasons landed me in therapy.
From the age of 11 onwards I saw one psychotherapist after another and I’ve been on so many medications that it’s hard to be certain of the exact number. […]
I like contributing to this site. I don’t think I help anyone. I feel like I only share. I relate. I feel normal here.
That being said, I am tired of being so sad. I don’t think I can be any other way. Not for the long haul. The thought of being like “this” another 30 some odd years makes me feel nauseous. The thought of doing that alone or around people I despise… I just shudder to think about being stuck in that way.
Over the years I have heard so many mantras, tips, and tricks that make my head spin. They don’t work for me. […]
I don’t know what it is but somehow people dislike me right after they see me. I am nice, shy and I am hygienic but something on my is repelling everyone. When I talk to them … when I try to talk to them … they either ignore me or push me away with ‘what do you want fatty/*****/loser’. There is no one I can talk to. Even when we have to make groups at school, I am the last one to be picked (which really does hurt) or I just get those look ‘ugh, she is in our group’. I’m scared to say something; […]
i keep finding reasons to stay later and later at work… in the hopes that while walking back to my car i will be violently assaulted and killed. i even deliberately park in the dark vacant part of the lot. two things though. 0ne, i don’t really work in a very high (violent) crime area. and two, i am a guy, not a whisp of a guy, but not a huge truck of a guy either. it’s sad, but statistically speaking, i would be more likely to be assaulted if i were a woman. not that i approve of it happening to others… it’s just […]
I’ve always lived my life for others……… Its hard to keep doing after 22 years of it…….. I tried to kill myself last week by jumping into a lake in the middle of the night……….. I was hoping I’d freeze and die…………….. but I didn’t…………. I realized I had done everything I had planned to do in my life……………So why can’t I be happy with it? I have a 3 year old son now………….. I saved my husband when I met him from ending his life……………. and I gave him my life………… I try to give him everything and anything to make him happy because […]
I’m only 17. I am going through shit right now. Exactly a year from today I was on this site. A year ago i felt like killing myself so badly that it had never got to me like that.
I will try to make this short and summarize everything.
My life began taking its downhill when i was in 6th grade. My parents got divorced and it affected me. I hated my dad. I never hung out with him unless my mom made me.
My dad always called me a hoe since I was in 7th grade. He never felt proud of me really. I […]
My name is Elora Schrader. I am thirteen years old, and I was hospitalized last March for an overdose of prescription drugs. My parents are druggies and drunks, and I beg for them to notice me, but nobody listens and nobody hears me cry. Because, in the here and now, nobody cares about anyone but themselves.
I have deconstructed a pencil sharpener, removing the blade. it is 10:35 PM. I will not do anything until 11:00. I hope that I will see or hear, something, anything to change my mind. I don’t WANT to do this again, but it is the only solution. Not just to […]
everything has to end
i just wish that it didn’t have to be so messy
i am worried about starting a chain reaction
Im so confused beyond belief..
I dont Know how to feel about this situation..sad?angry?hurt?
I feel like i dont want to talk to anyone not even go to school..
I don’t want to face anyone without you telling me what is wrong..
you were the person i looked forward to seeing..
I messaged you..you dont answer..
you’ve been gone for ages,and im worried..
you see the messages but you dont reply..
I want to know if you’re okay..why you’ve been missing school..
I dont know if you have the same feelings i do for you..but others are telling me you do..
but how can i know when your gone..when you have seemed to disappear..
I guess […]
IM A FUCKIN FAILURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
I keep trying to get better, because everyone tells me that I’m sick. That I have a mental disease that can kill me.
So I try again and again.
But I always end up right back here.
I guess I belong here. With the sick and the troubled; the lost and let down. I’m just a sick person looking for what? Happiness? Self worth? Validation? I don’t have a clue. But I do know that I belong with the fallen. I’m here with the people who, even though they’ve never met me, understand me. I’m with those who have given up, who have realized that there’s nothing left […]
Hello! They say writing and sharing your experiences can be therapeutic, and in my case that is especially true. So, today I thought I’d take a moment to sit down and have a little chat with all of you.
My story really begins about 8-9 months ago. I was going through a rough time, I had just found out I have a lump in my spine. In the past years I have been diagnosed with:
Reynauds Disease
Fibromyalgia
Osteoporosis (in my neck)
Osteoarthritis (neck, again)
Heart Arrhythmia
Severe Insomnia […]