My name is rebecca taylor i am 16 and a sophmore in high school. I have put up with alot of things that most people dont know about me. so where should i begin? well i shall start where my whole life started falling apart. I was four years old at the time i was first raped! i remember this event to well i was asleep when a frind of the family came in my room and started touching me when i tried to scream he punched me in the head and knocked me unconcious. he continued to rape me untill i was seven. at […]
Tag:
Scream
Depression is every where all around me ever since i moved away from my family seven years ago ive never been the same.
last year on the 28th of september something happened that changed me forever.. i flew down for my birthday that week to visit my dad and his new girlfriend. But you see me and his girlfriend got off to a terrible start due to the fact she’d never met me and was telling me i needed to go on medication when she didnt even know anything about me or my life.. Dad explained to me that she herself suffered from depression on was […]
I just feel so alone now. No one listens to me and they just dismiss my problems. I’ve never felt this hurt before, i’m actually feeling physical pain now. I hate myself and the way i look and everything about me. I wish that i could just help everyone out and just dissappear. i cry every day now and it’s just steadily getting worse. I cryed today at school, i just broke down and couldn’t stop. I try to hold everything inside and the more i hold in the worse i feel. I can’t take this anymore. I feel like everything is closing in on […]
it`s my dad`s death anniversary. I`m adopted. And my real dad…well, it`s his death anniversary tonight he killed himself in front of me. my dad, he shot himself. in front of me. When i was 12. Nothing much happened for awhile, I guess it needed some time to sink in. Then when i turned 15, i got hospitalized like 3 times for attempted suicide that year. There was nothing i wanted more than to just die and i was so mad cuz they wouldn`t let me. You know how it feels when everyone`s secretly blaming me…the kind of blame where no one really says anything […]
My background:
I had started wondering about death and would habitually wish for death and say ‘never mind’ 3 times afterward. This started when I was around 10, until one day I stopped saying ‘never mind’ and decided to see what would happen.
My life has been met with intense anger, anger that caused me to once whip my mother with a PC controller wire after I smashed it off the banister when I was around 16.
I started cutting myself on Valentine’s Day 2007, senior year. I started under the notion that everyone would leave me once we graduated. They all did except one. My last friend […]
It was my job to keep my phone by my side…my best friend AKA my brother made it clear that he would call ME, if anyone, if he contemplated suicide. At 9;43PM May 8, 2010, I called him and left a message about the Mother’s Day celebration the following day. In a heavy sleep, I missed a phone call at 6AM from a restricted number. Come 8AM, there was a knock at my door. My girlfriend (I was in a gay relationship at the time) answered the door and came back to bed to inform me that my mother and aunt were there. First thought-SHIT, […]
All the people who treated me like shit and accused me for bulling in the past wont stop picking on me. I have no job my parents are disabled no one ever seems to help me here in Cornwall. They all talk about how well theyy have it made and how acceped they all are and scream told you so to me. Im probably take my own life at the end of this month because no one knows i even exist yet alone help me.!!!!
Death is upon me. Goodbye Cruel World.
I see the dishes clatter and fall.
I feel your breath on my face as you scream at me.
You hit my face.
My arms.
My ears.
I taste my salty blood.
At least the ringing in my ears is gone.
I see mother crying
Almost as if she’s begging you to stop.
You swing at me again.
My face to the floor.
How do I explain these bruises?
I won’t tell.
I won’t tell.
I’ll just smile to the wary eyes.
I’ll just wave it off.
No big deal.
No one will know your problem.
I don’t know why I exist
But maybe I’ll live to […]
I hate myself, I want to die
No one understands, no one cares
This world would be a better place,
If only I didn’t exist
The pain never stops,
The darkness is closing in
I close my eyes and hope they never open again
I want to scream,
All this rage inside
I wish I had a gun,
To end all this craziness inside in my head
I am so alone,
 So Much emptiness inside
Why can’t anyone here me?
Because nobody cares.
All these tears keep falling,
I wonder how theres any left
My heart is beating so fast,
I feel like it’s slowly breaking
Why can’t it just stop?
To take one last final breath in this world,
Would bring such peace inside
Why is […]
” I’ve often thought of suicide as my anwser. But now i regret it. I Slit my wrist way to deep all the blood rushes from my gentle body as i lay crimped up on the floor i wonder if anyone even cares. My funeral was horrible no one even bother to release a tear. not one. No one came to claim me as there’s. No boys seem to take a look when i walk by they just go on&on about the measly lives of the tiredness of the others with in the room. No counselor seems to listen when i scream at the top of […]
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