I’m done. I can’t believe I have to keep waking up for the next… what? How long? I don’t know what is going to happen with my marriage or anything else. I don’t know how my … self… is going to affect my kids. How long am I going to just be getting from one end of the day to the other? I don’t want to say it’s unfair, because no one’s inflicting it on me. I don’t know how God works, but I know God doesn’t work like this. Personal freedoms, free-will, poor choices, poor judgment.. Tendencies toward self destruction, self harm, self abuse. […]
I was just thinking.
I came across this site and started reading some of these posts, and realised I’m not the only one who feels alone. ‘Im so scared of doing something stupid.
I’m writing a post on here because this is the only way i can get my thoughts out without the constant judgement. Today my mum woke me up so i could go shopping with her. I got all dressed up, I wanted to feel nice and i did. In the car on the way there i put my headphones in, and just looked at all the cars going past. Wishing i was […]
Another day,another page
You’re writing a tragedy
On your face.
Chalk white skin and scarlet eyes,
Sharpest blade and darkest lies.
Self-abuse ,and tears you cry,
You always think you’d rather die.
They say it’s wrong to end yourself,
But what’s the choice,when you have noone else?
Look at my hands,look at my legs-
Broken and soar,I can’t feel anymore
I’m cutting my skin to die from within
And escape from myself…
I’m hurting to heal,i’m dieing to feel
My light’s shutting down
My light’s never real…
I want to live.   After 8 years of pain and self abuse, I am starting to see the sun again, and it feels good to feel again.  So glad that I found your site, I think that the people who focus on life vs death are the ones who most want to live. Sometimes I feel that a lot of others just go through the motions, or get numb. I want to experience. As I read through some of the things you have posted, I was […]
Suicide and Reclamation
It’s so cold and dark in this place
I’d cut myself open to show you
Our blood is the same
Water stings as it kisses cuts like my mothers lips
Something about submerging myself seemed to be like a baptism.
I remember when my pastor dipped me in the water.
I want to be clean again.
I want to tell you I’m sorry…for what I can’t remember.
All I know is that I was wrong.
Alcohol burned so much I thought it killed what made me sick even those dirty sinful memories.
I want to be pure again.
I want to hold someone […]
Drones since the dawn of time
Compelled to live your sheltered lives
Not once has anyone ever seen
Such a rise of pure hypocracy
I’ll instigate I’ll free your mind
I’ll show you what I’ve known all this time
God Hates Us All, God Hates Us All
You know it’s true God hates this place
You know it’s true he hates this race
Homicide-Suicide
Hate heals, you should try it sometime
Strive for Peace with acts of war
The beauty of death we all adore
I have no faith distracting me
I know why your prayers will never be answered
God Hates Us All; God Hates Us All
So many people posting their story.. Thought I’d post mine.
I guess all the ‘bad stuff’ really started when I was 11. Sure my dad abused us before then, but only as a dicaplin. Pulling the hair.. Slapping the face.. Kicking your ass all the way up the stairs to your room..
When I was 11, I was molested. May 6th, 2005. About 4am from my guess. It was at my best friend’s birthday party. Her dad. Needless to say I don’t really talk to her anymore. She got too messed up for obvious reasons.
It wasn’t too bad really. I just woke up with his hand on […]
These feelings have been with me as long as my skin,
and these thoughts will kill me as long as I live.
In my mid 40s old, have lead a charmed life at times, always looking for the thing that would make me happy. Bottomline nothing can make anyone happy it comes from within. So how do you do that when the weight of the world and the consequences of poor choices and actions culminate into one gigantic crushing smoothering ball and chain. Reality becomes blurred and all you want to do is check out. My children and the fear of death and HELL up to this point keep me from doing the worst however as they are several states away and thier Mother is awaiting me […]