A week leading up to my death, well that will be worth documenting. Next week my family is out of town, which means I will have plenty of time to die. So now I know the date, am I scared? No. Excited? Possibly, at least more so than scared. It feels kind of like planning a fun camping trip except I will not come back. Either way, planning is fun, or that could be my OCD, I don’t know. So what will my last day look like? Well I will wake up probably late and take plenty of time to rest. I will smoke a […]
Tag:
Smoke Weed
one shot one rope one fall
the things that end us all
look out of the door in to the night
pull the triger blow out whats left
knock out the cher tern off the light
take the step let the wind take you
bight the pill brake the cap
tern on the gas light the fag
drive the car off the clife
not comeing back
fuck you all
all the day no whos calld
the reper by his rele name
and see whos the one to frame
so smoke the weed bern the casel
drink till you drop
this ant pritey cos life shure ant
no whos been droping the candel
lifes like light going out
the smoking emders that you find
blowing away in […]
I feel like I am a failure at life, I also feel like I hate myself. Whenever I tell someone that I dislike my life, they tell me, “Oh theres ppl starving living on the streets.” See thats what I hate, when people tell me that. It’s almost like they are telling me that its my job to be happy because I am not that person. It’s hard for me to be happy, to motivate myself, to try something new, or just go out for random things. I always want to be by myself, or at least tell myself that. I get bored with everything, […]
Anyone out there having trouble living your life also?
Fuck, I just want to give up everything and die.
I’m tired of explaining everything to everyone about why I have erratic moods, why I need help, why I’m not as normal as everybody fucking thinks. I’m so miserable living my life. I basically lay down in bed, thinking of all things I have to do, shouldn’t forget to do… but I just can’t get up. I wake up so late in the afternoon that my day is halfway gone. I eat, use the bathroom, then go back to my room. In my room, I’m on my laptop, on […]
Instead of trying to achive something I rather smoke weed and not think about anything. I dont even know what I’m afraid of. People. I’m pathetic.
I told myself I would work since I have about 1000 euro in Debt. Instead I’m just sitting here, numb. Not wanting to do anything. Im fucking pathetic.
I was supposed to start my new job next week. I called and emailed them. No response. Im guessing they dont want me anymore. Must be because I’m ugly as fuck.
I feel betrayed by someone I miss deeply. I hate it when people dissapear, without any clue. Id rather have someone telling […]
I just woke up. Im surprised I shortly fell asleep actually. It’s now 2:1o am. I was up for 2 days to celebrate queensday (big dutch holiday). I slept for about 4 hours I guess. I started crying the minute after I woke up and found the nerves to turn around. I felt literally frozen. I guess I had a bad dream. Cant really remember. All I know is that I really want to smoke some weed. But I’m afraid of the dark (yes Im a baby) and for some reason Im too scared to even get out of bed to pee.
I really want to […]