My name is Gianna, I’m 20 years old, and the grim reaper has officially laid claim to my soul.
Tag:
soul
i’m cutting my fucking self again, i don’t get posting this, but fuck off, i feel so fucking lost right now.
What a fun site. The chance to share the most private of thoughts.
Where to begin…
By all accounts you would think that my life was perfect, or close enough. Very successful in my field, well-loved by my community, a fun set of hobbies, not in financial crisis. So what’s wrong?
I’ve always suffered from depression. Thoughts of suicide. My wife has been great at keeping me out of it. But over the years, she has grown so very distant. I don’t think she is cheating on me; it’s not in her personality. But these days she’s a roommate, nothing more. Intimacy has dried up to infrequent… and […]
It may be more accurate to say I’m looking for a soul-healer. I don’t mean anything religious, but back in the time of the ancient Greeks, people would go to a philosopher to discuss the troubles of life, the troubles of the soul, in an attempt to find meaning or peace or whatever. But in today’s world soul-healing is now psychology and falls under the purview of medicine and the law.
Ideally, the client/therapist relationship should be a safe place for the client to talk to the therapist about anything. I believe that the only way the client/therapist relationship can work is if the client can […]
for every. dot. a sin. was made. speaking lies. and never saying. if u can see it. then feel my pain. . . .
there are 11 dots
11 sins. 11 miatakes 11 pepl 11 mismakes. 11 true senses 11 fates. 11 things u should not say 11 tears 11 drops 11 loved ounce and 11 enemys 11 kind words that lift ur soul and 11 seconds for it to all disapear
Hello.
I’m not quite sure where to start off, but I feel so useless; as if my existence had no meaning at all.
You see, I started to cut when I was around 15 years old, and the people I loved just kept using me. I felt so ugly, and worthless, and continued cutting. Thing is, I stopped cutting for a while, but I had to do so again, since I had depression again; this time with suicidal thoughts.
I was about to kill myself, when this wonderful guy appears (he has loved me for around 1 year and a half) and suddenly makes everything better. And you […]
I hate my arms. I’m covered in scars. I smile and pretend I’m totally fine, I laugh and I joke. Among my friends I’m the one who cheers them up, gives the best advice, makes them laugh. Do they genuinely feel close to me? I don’t feel close to them. I don’t really feel close to anyone. I can’t let people in.
I was doing a good job of it recently, I was opening up. Light was shining a little in my life. Just a teeny bit. I pined for years. I pined and I pined and I pined. Finally last year I realized my pining […]
I hope that liquid inside
would fill the sadness you hide
and in every day do you
believe that that can save you
and every day you sit alone
does that bottle feel like home
does it make you forget
everyday that you regret
does it fill you with joy
because nothing else can
you know your broken when
that little girl stands before you with sad eyes
and you don’t even notice them anymore
does that bottle fill your soul
does it make you happy at all
and when the sadness comes back
would you stay on […]
I’m thankful for a place where you can vent about the darkness of the soul,
and the tragic sufferings of life.
I am truly thankful for the responses.
I had this idea in my head about how much worse things could get in just one day,
but it works the other was just the same.
If you must go know it’s ok,
and if you must stay again know it’s ok.
I hope you all have the ability to dream,
and the fortune of friends.
The sound of darkness. A grapefruit. Devour, and kill me.
One day. After we walk to eternity.
A walking soul of iron armor. Undead, in celibacy to Celestial.
I am, that I am.
Devour me. Kill me. Me and you, to infinity.
She is 20 years old. She is an Italian & African-American Female.
She goes to school full-time. She she has no time for a job.
She is TRYING the BEST she can to make something of herself, to make a living for herself, so she can live comfortably above the poverty line that her & her family have been stuck in for years.
But she is tired.
She’s looked for God and she believes she found him. She’s seen him in her dreams, she’s seen him hide in nature, she feels him when the sun comes up. Crazy as it sounds, she believes he is all around, and she […]
You know, I’m really sick
of people judging me
and thinking they know
who I am.
Just one
quick
little
glance
and an eternal
stamp
laces my soul.
Bi. Sex. U. Al.
You can say it.
I won’t mind.
My hand is as comfortable
in a girl’s
as it is
in a man’s.
My lips do know the touch
of a female
and they longed for another.
So what?
I’m not a SLUT.
I’m not a WHORE.
I’m not ‘undecided’
or just ‘confused’.
And they wonder why I
don’t believe
in their
God.
We were created in his image-
correct?
So then why does this
happen:
“Don’t tell the others,
but Daddy loves
you
the best.”
Is that who you worship?
“I love all my children
equally-
except for you.
You’re going to Hell.”
So here I go
with the homos
and the murderers
the thieves
the harlots
the liars
and in a way I […]
At the end, when everything finally falls apart, I will only remember that once upon a time, I have silently, and deeply, loved someone with all my soul.
It’s not sadness I feel. I don’t even feel anger, nor do I feel numb. I feel empty. I am devoid of a soul.
The Jews say a soul is what makes us special. It is what separates us from the lifeless tools we use. I feel like God forgot to put my soul in me when he made me, leaving me a tool to be used. I feel like the Golem when he no longer had a purpose.
I don’t often think about myself in the terms of Jewish faith. My father is Jewish, not I. It’s the only way I can describe it though. […]
This is the Easter Season (50 days of Easter….it doesn’t begin and end on Easter Sunday).
I’ve been a Christian all of my life. And I am here to tell you that NO act of suicide is cowardice….it takes a strong person to overcome the natural instinct for self preservation and move on to the next life.
I’m 59 years old and I do NOT, for ONE SECOND, buy into the fundamentalist concept of hell. I was raised Southern Baptist and by the grace of God found the Episcopal Church in my early 40’s…after decades of self hate inflicted on me by the SBC. I didn’t develop suicidal ideation […]
Oh why, oh why
Must our loved ones tear us apart
Oh why, oh why
Do they not take us to heart
Sorrow and guilt
Shall haunt their minds
Sorrow and guilt
Until the end of time
Cold, dark death
Please grace this poor soul
Cold, dark death
Beg you; consume me whole
Frozen In Time
It’s so hard to get someone to understand you. It rips your soul apart when the look of incomprehension shows up. I have only just wanted some help and care. But I guess that’s a luxury that I won’t ever have.
I live like a zombie. My soul is dead. My emotions are dead. I have no passion. I just want to end this.
Frozen In Time.
Doomed from birth.  Where is the justice in life?
And it’s not about karma there is no karma. I know so because I am one of life’s “freaks”. If I had a past life, I had the same essence, the same personality I have now. Otherwise I’d be a totally different person. I am an innocent creature. Never was a bully. Never was even clever or strong enough to figure out how to bully the bullies. But god made me a freak anyway.
Maybe god prefers the freaks.
http://www.thehumanmarvels.com/
I don’t believe in heaven but if I did- these people deserve to be there more than anybody. And if I were […]
Covering your ears to prevent the assault of my screams
You don’t want to acknowledge the betrayal
Just the self righteous smile plastered smugly on your face
Now it’s time for the tables to turn
Time for you to feel how badly this burns
Through my heart, through my soul
And now that all is lost, especially my self control
I want you to know my pain
I want you to feel it dripping down your face
I want you to taste it on your lips
I hope you like what you see
Because you’re the one that did this to me
In this situation in particular,
do I choose to follow my dreams or to follow my heart?
How do I know which will work out?
Do I follow my dreams and risk it all?
Or, do I follow my heart and end it all?
They both may seem so simplistic, of that I’m sure,
but they are burning me to the core.
Why must my endeavors of this be so intricate,
when there are no plans and no times set?
My dreams are supposed to balance my internal torment,
but my choices cause nothing but my mere discontent.
All the things I once cared about are now obsolete,
and though […]