I only know what day of the week it is because it says it on my iPad. I’ve sat in the same chair all day long for the last couple weeks, only moving to use the bathroom, shower, or sleep. My only forays out into the world consist of the five minutes to the corner store for smokes. No one calls. No one wonders what I’m up to. No one cares if I’m still alive. I come on SP to find people who identify with me, but in truth, I find I don’t identify. I feel like I just post random comments that no one […]
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SP
I woke up this morning not long ago and decided to head to SP to see today’s posts. I noticed I had a fair amount of responses to my post last night. As I was reading them, a couple of users were talking about a topic that made me stop dead in my tracks and literally say ‘wow’. I feel everyone should take a look at this and give me there thoughts, because I really wish I had the answers.
” I’ve noticed one thing…a whole lot of awareness. Too much, I think. And intelligence. And thoughtfulness. A lot of very smart, sad, interesting, hyper-aware people. […]
So tomorrow (US time, the 3rd) is my birthday… this morning i received a notification from what i have dubbed “the SP birthday bot.”
SP birthday bot claimed the “honor” of “drawing first blood” on birthday wishes.
The irony is potent.
Imagine… a person trapped in a life they wish had never occurred, who has frequented a suicide-centric website for over a year… receives a BIRTHDAY wish, from this site’s computer program (“bot”), prior to anyone else who has ever known me (aside from my mom and the older of my two half-sisters, with both of whom i share a domicile).
The first entity outside my residence, to mention […]
No worth in putting up with bullshit just to save nothing but a pathetic little thing ready to be thrown away. I see a lot of people marking their leaving with their birthday. Well, mine is this Tuesday. Still stumped on what I should do. I only thought of it today. I almost have no motivation to even come on SP anymore. But my mind is clearer when i expel my muddled brain somewhere. And, well, if I’m going to do it, may as we’ll keep it hidden from the real world and be able to go through with everything more easily.
Will S.P.s resident Hamster Hole Extraordinaire “Thanatos” persue his newly discovered RAW GENIUS rap skills and TASTY hard-hitting lyrics all the way to the TOP? Recent Vegetable HATE themed slurs and Hard-Hitting innuendo about “Peacenicks” and “Treehuggers” are igniting flames of controversy.The word in the SP backalleys, among the gallows-humor Elite ,and the UltraNeurotic underground IS that EVERYBODYS favorite GrumpyGus is just engaging in some diversionary Shit talking BECAUSE of a contentious story with several conflicting versions.Our most reliable source tell us:T-Hampster(still ironing out the rap name…T-Hole? Are you creative?-postt all your great ideas!)) He was sexually assaulted while hiking naked with nothing but a […]
Anyone out there knows if theres a place where you could talk a little more freely about suicide than on SP? I want to be able to talk with serious people on a serious forum about suicide. I’ve been thinking about killing myself for eight years now. I tried once and failed. I dont want to make the same mistake again. If i try it again i dont want to die alone. I had depresion/anxiety/panic attacks frequently for most part of my life. I dont think its gonna get any better. I am alone. I dont have any friends. Why keep trying you know?
I feel utterly useless. In my daily life to even on SP. When ever I finally think I can do something, I try my best at it. I work as hard as possible, thinking “This might be the day where I can finally do something right for once!” I brim with the confidence that only appears every other blue moon (If I’m lucky). Only to be destroyed. I end up worse than I was before, getting closer and closer to my limit everytime. I don’t know how much longer I can last. My fuck-ups are only a single percent of my problems, but it hits me […]
People are writing about the SP chat.. but I don’t know what’s going on :/ Can somebody explain me?
SP caged-clown, of hell. Come see me, my humility. If you shall, come free me.
You don’t have to touch me, you can pull me with these chains tied to my body.
If you may, help me destroy it, so that I may live or die, in peace.
The zero child is piety. Air, turn me into rain. I say please.
Leader of humanity, Mankind. In bow, I plea to thee.
My truth. My cards. Illness and death. Two burning towers.
Indeed, I see and feel the world from upside-down. Indeed, it hurts the most of all.
Warped. The child of piety. The next five […]
This post isn’t about having a bad day…It’s quite the opposite, actually! I’ve noticed that SP has become quite a staple in my life. Aside from one thing that set me off today, I’ve had a marvelously wonderful day. This is actually the first time that I’ve been happy for an extended period of time in…well, a long long time. I am currently content. I’ve begun to find some motivation to do the things that I need to when previously my depression had kept me from doing them.
SP, I owe you. I am happy.
Because wordplay.
Here i sit on SP, contemplating mortality, nine-something pm my time, and fireworks whistle and pop, not far away. Three days early. I doubt the people launching them have any real clue just what it is they’re supposed to be celebrating… or how jeopardized and compromised that particular thing has come to be.
I wanted to make some kind of… soup reference, or something, but alas, i’m not in gear for that at this time. It’s just that the 4th of July has been an increasingly stark source of irony for me, since i found myself awake.
I wonder if they know what “Independence” really means.
I […]
This is not going to be an easy night, but i have made promises to people that i care for deeply that I will not doing anything crazy. As most of my posts, I praise my brother because he is the honestly the only reason I am still here. Love you brother and I hope my problems do not take away from your honeymoon. Sleep well SP.
I’m sure some people are tempted to view this site as a bunch of whiners talking about suicide but never doing anything. Or as my own idiot therapist said: “Why talk about it? If you’re going to do it, then do it.”
But the truth is that many SP users have actually gone ahead and done it. They post here as a last stop before the unknown, and then they cross over. So no, we’re not just a bunch of lookie-lous.
I was wondering if anyone had been keeping a list of confirmed, or very likely, suicides of SP users. Maybe it would be nice to have […]
… registered here. So far hasn’t been so bad other than that cluster fuck that caused me to register in the first place. See, we can all be kind to each other when we want to. Maybe, maybe it’s just my inability to get pissed off anymore that I wonder why others get so mad over silly things so easily. But I do appreciate the hospitality you all have shown me since I announced my pressence here on SP. Good Vibrations to you all, and may you be able to wade through the shit in your lives and travel the extreme dissonance you need to trek through to have a better life. […]
What in the -Before I get into this, be warned, I am very vulgar- endless cosmic cluster fuck happened to SP? I mean, seriously? It seems after the visual change everyone just kinda changed into argumentative assholes. Well not everyone, but anyway, it seems as though this place has turned into a war zone. It usually hasn’t been like this (Since I found this site a few months ago), except for a few disagreements here and there. But it almost never got like this. But alas, fighting is in human nature. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention; Like I said before, I found this site months ago and […]
Well, for some unknown reason I am just so deeply sad tonight and the tears are flowing. I am leaving early tomorrow morning to make the 5 hour drive from PHX to L.A.  ….. Perhaps I should just keep on driving and make that visit to the GGB………yep…..it’s a bad one tonight….where is the positive energy I’ve been trying to offer on SP…..it sure isn’t with me tonight.
I’ve been on here since 2011, but recently made this account after not being on here for 5 months, fresh start 🙂
I come back and Bam! I don’t get this format AT ALL. please help
I’m new to SP and I have no idea where to start. I’ve done so many stupid things in the past. I read posts and I relate to almost all of them. I feel as if I understand you and I know you. I am always depressed, I have no idea what goes on my life anymore. I can’t find joy in the things I once loved to do. All I do is think about how useless I am, how depressed I am all the time, how my parents tell me crap all the time, I have no friends at all, seriously, and my boyfriend […]