I feel utterly useless. In my daily life to even on SP. When ever I finally think I can do something, I try my best at it. I work as hard as possible, thinking “This might be the day where I can finally do something right for once!” I brim with the confidence that only appears every other blue moon (If I’m lucky). Only to be destroyed. I end up worse than I was before, getting closer and closer to my limit everytime. I don’t know how much longer I can last. My fuck-ups are only a single percent of my problems, but it hits me just as hard, if not, harder than the rest. I guess I really am a fuck-up. On SP I am unable to comfort anyone, I’m always at a loss for words. There have been moments where people were on their last leg and completely backed into a corner, some people who just needed someone they could talk to and I still couldn’t say anything. I just feel like the biggest asshole on the Earth, the most useless pile of garbage in the universe. I should just do everyone a favor and stop procrastinating kill myself already…
“I’m already dead to this world…”
-Mudvayne, Pharmaecopia
5 comments
You can only do you’re best and that should be all anybody ever asks of you. Nobody is less deserving of life than others, because we never earned what we were given at birth, it’s either a blessing or a curse. But when you’re focused on what others are thinking and their efforts to bring you down, you’re letting them win. Find out what’s right for you and pursue it. Fuck everyone else, if they haven’t cared about you then screw what they think.
You know what? The biggest asshole on earth wouldn’t give a shit if he was unable to console anyone in their time of need. An asshole wouldn’t even try. I know you care because you care to say so on here. I know you’re hurting and I know that we all gain a good feeling when we help others.
I read your post and I want you to know that I’m unsure about what you try and fail at the most…whatever it is, I’m sure it’s important to you. I fail with women mostly, but it’s because I care to be successful with them that I emphasize my failure in this regard when really, it might be a minor thing to someone else.
Look up the word “stymie” Is that an accurate portrayal, at least in part, of how you feel quite often? Or “futile” even.
Thank you Disenchanted7, over the years I’ve learned (Well I at least try) to disregard the opinions of people who don’t care about me I can deal with their insults. But, my largest problem is myself. Eh, I don’t know how to put it correctly, but I’m more of menace to myself than others are to me. I feel like I almost have to fight myself just to do anything anymore. “Nobody is less deserving of life than others” – That is true, although, past my self-loathing I still want to die. Life in this age is too much for me to handle. Too much hatred and human beings.
I think I know what you mean. At times I can afford to say fuck everyone and what they think but I’ve got to admit there are times when it slips through and when I look around I see how everyone hates me, and it hurts like Hell. I wonder how I made it to 25 nevermind the thought of growing older. If I stop and think about it I hate myself and want to die, so I don’t anymore and focus on little things to improve my life instead, even if it makes zero difference.
ok,even that you considered helping people on a website is a wonderful thing.,,see i don’t post much either. i browse.
if you have tryed at tings,,that is all that will matter.if noone can accept this,,then forget them.i hope you can find somting you enjoy doing,thats all that matters if you enjoy it
none of us asked to be born,,,but pleas forget about trying to pleas other people.if they can appreciate what you can do,good,,,if not, say bye bye to them,,,oooo not literally,but forget them like i say