So apparently I should be doing something with my life. Yeah, cause chasing after the wind makes perfect sense. Work a job I don’t wanna work at and make money that I could really care less about. This life is chasing after false hopes and dreams. Why are we even here? I don’t get it. Apparently to live this human experience I suppose. But there’s nothing that the world has to offer me. I don’t care about anything. I’m just accustomed to waking up, eating, taking a shit and repeat. Play some candy crush and drown myself in music, that’s life for me. […]
Tag:
Speck
we think we are superior than animals, we are animals ourselves. our houses made of wood and rocks. that’s all we are, a speck, waiting to go back to dust. that’s all we are. why experience this life at all? what gives. it’s sad to think I used to believe in magic, magic don’t exist. happiness don’t exist. life is just some big joke, one big mistake. my thoughts are the cause of my very depression and anxiety. I envy the dead.
I guess I just don’t know what I want from people anymore. It’s like I’m screaming for someone to take two seconds to notice that I’m dying. It’s like I’ve fallen down in the middle of a stampede, and everyone just keeps trampling me. They don’t notice that they’re about to lose me. Would they care? Would they even notice if I was gone? My own boyfriend is so obsessed with that damn piano that he doesn’t have time for me. I understand, because I’m a music major too, but I’d drop my guitar for him anytime. He knows that I’ve struggled in the past […]
~Broken~
When will you learn?
That I am not always going to be there
For you to vent you’re anger on,
That I am not a toy to you,
And you will push me to the brink
I will hurt, over and over,
Cutting deeper and deeper
Until everything in me is ruined,
Until I have hurt so much it isn’t possible to hurt any more.
When will you try?
To help me
To stop hurting me
To make me feel like I was supposed to be born
To help me not be afraid
Of you,
Of trusting you,
Of loving you,
’cause I can’t survive the destroying of my heart
I won’t always be able to pick up the pieces,
To mold them […]
Time does not run in seconds, hours or days. For me it runs in nights. I wake up as the sun sets, eat dinner for breakfast, and say goodnight to my loved ones. Alone I sit through the endless nights, watching time fly by, wondering why the sun is rising before I’ve had the chance to live. As the first rays of dawn pierce my aching eyes, I begin to prepare for my journey into the dreamworld. The only place where I can truly live in vivid and terrifying detail. Nights pass by, one after the other, most of which I cannot remember. Vague images […]