I was doing so well for a while, it had been over 3 months since I had dangerous suicidal ideology. I mean I think it is normal to think of it from time to time but to feel like you are truly plotting it out and very close to action is another thing. I am still bad today. Deep depression, suicidal ideology, but I am not close like I was last night. I did speak with my doctor and I admitted to thoughts of suicide, but I didn’t tell him how close I was to taking steps. I am afraid of going to the hospital. […]
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