i have scars. yeah, they’re pretty bad. all up my arms and legs. But they serve a nice purpose. they remind not to do dumb shit like trust anyone, or believe there is hope, or even believe in general. they remind me that life is one big game of lies, of which, i lose. They remind me that life is like a funhouse mirror, you think everything is perfect until you step in front of one. and then BAM! everything just goes wack. so yeah, I wear black. “typical emo” though right? (*bastards*) I wear black to remind me that everyday is a day to […]
Tag:
Swing
I want to feel. anything. I feel so fucking empty. My moods swing constantly. Half an hour ago I was jumping up and down with energy..
I want to cut, so I can feel that sweet rush flow trough my body, I want to smoke, I want to drink, have sex so freaking much…
and now I have to leave my bed to go to work. Yey 🙁
I’ve always gone back, to the place where I once sat and cried. I can remember the pain, watching all the little kids play and me just sitting there and wanting one to come over and ask if I would like to play with them. I remember when I sat on the swing and watch the girls play jump-rope and the boys played one their game-boys. I remember being alone. It hurt everyday, and everyday even more rage would full me up inside because I wouldn’t eat anything. I remember hating myself and wishing I could start over or die. It didn’t help that […]
I see the dishes clatter and fall.
I feel your breath on my face as you scream at me.
You hit my face.
My arms.
My ears.
I taste my salty blood.
At least the ringing in my ears is gone.
I see mother crying
Almost as if she’s begging you to stop.
You swing at me again.
My face to the floor.
How do I explain these bruises?
I won’t tell.
I won’t tell.
I’ll just smile to the wary eyes.
I’ll just wave it off.
No big deal.
No one will know your problem.
I don’t know why I exist
But maybe I’ll live to […]